Santa Lechuga Power League:

The Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League In the Universe

League Info

Submit Rosters Now

Even though we don’t have the ’13 Season website all created and ready to go -- we are still suffering the effects of our perpetual off-season bender -- you can submit your roster for the ’13 season by using this handy-dandy form. Do it between now and the first pitch on the full Opening Day, which will be Monday, April 1.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Sunday Morning WTF!?!? MC Misspellar

We got a lot of welcome feedback on our notice yesterday that Hall-of-Famer Lee MacPhail had died, including:
  • “Lee McPhail sounds like he should have been the owner of the Padres in the 1980’s. You know where I’m going with dat.” ~Vince Livernois, Pesky Aphids
  • “Hey can you shoot me an email with my fees so I can kick out a check. Gracias!” ~Brandon Olivarri, Chupa mi Pena!
  • “So how does Ruby Livernois (who hit the day right on the head with her Magic Number, unless he actually died on the 8th) or me not receive any points even though we both had Lee McPhail on our HOF Death roster twice?” ~Kevin Klinkhamer, Dongwhipped
Vince, as followers of the Pads in the ’80’s, we do know where you’re going with dat. Unfortunately.

Brandon, we
love!, love!, love! that you want to pay your fees. And we hope all your fellow owners who have not paid will take the time to do so ASAP so that we can pay our season champs.

And, finally, Kevin, besides the snotty tone (
we hold the trademark on snotty tones, dontchyaknow), we really do appreciate you calling to our attention to the fact that we missed a whole bunch of folks who had Lee MacPhail on their Death Pool rosters. Turns out we searched our rosters on the misspelled name “McPhail” and not “MacPhail,” generated a way-too-short list of teams who spelled the name as incorrectly as we did, and only gave those teams points. Talk about phail! (There’s a reason I’m the league’s Vice President of All the Little Detals.) We have now fixed the problem (we think) and correctly allocated the points to all the teams (we think). The Howards owner Ruby Livernois now leads Hall-of-Fame Death Pool Standings with 200 points.

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, us?! We can’t be more thorough before awarding HOF points?!?! We mean, seriously, WTF?!?!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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The Season *Never* Ends; Lee McPhail Face-Plants the Meringue

Just when you thought you could tie a ribbon around the season and go home for the winter, along comes a good, old-fashioned Hall-of-Fame death. Yep, the passing of Lee MacPhail, the oldest previously-living Hall-of-Famer, reminds all Santa Lechuga Power League owners that the sun never goes down on a SLPL season as long as there’s a chance that one of the old timers have a chance of taking the eternal dirt nap. Ever since the league extended the Hall-of-Fame Death Pool to last from the first pitch of one season to the first pitch of the next season -- and why not since HOFers never seem to want to die while a season’s in progress -- we have guaranteed that no Hall-of-Famer will ever have to die without someone in our league scoring points for it.

Beneficiaries of Lee McPhail’s timely demise include Washington Bullets owner
Jim Cummings and Moyer! The Musical owner Sue Klinkhamer, who both reserved two spots of their five spot HOF rosters for McPhail and who both now lead the HOF Death Pool standings with 100 points. Highlanders owner Rick Coppock only had McPhail once on his roster but scored extra points for having the closest Magic Number to the date of death, giving him 75 HOF points. Scoring 50 points apiece for the cadaverous McPhail were Pepino Monos owner Tony Livernois, Cameltowing, Inc. owner Dave Edison, and Chupacabras owner Tyler Shaddy.

If you didn’t score points for McPhail’s death, don’t fret. There are still plenty of Hall-of-Famers still breathing and incalculable number of ways they can still they can still face-plants the meringue before the first pitch of the ’13 season. Know hope!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Quiet Dark Horse Kyle Harmon Crowned 2012 SLPL Overall Champ!!!

MLB World Series 2

Sophomore league owner Kyle Harmon of Kempin' It Real! was crowned the 2012 SLPL Overall Champion Sunday night after the San Francisco Giants finished their four-game sweep of the pitiful, anemic Detroit Tigers. "Who would have believed that Max Scherzer would have made the difference for me," Kyle said. "I was down, down, down during the Regular Season and all through the Playoffs ... I just couldn't punch through and take over first place from Strokes owner Aaron Pankoke until the very last moment. Because of Max Freakin' Scherzer. Unreal." Kyle traded for Scherzer on the last day of trading.

In addition to being crowned Overall Champ, with his win Kyle collects a cool five hundred clams from
The Pot.

Meanwhile, Deeger Dogs owner
D.Jay Andersen was crowned the Playoffs Champ after making six trades at the trade deadline and beating Kershawshank Redemption owner Joe Kelly by 41 points. For the win, D.Jay pulled $150 out of The Pot.

Here are all the official champs and final payouts for the 2012 season:

2012 Champs
End-of-Season Champs
Overall Champ: Kempin' It Real!, Kyle Harmon
Playoff Champ: Deeger's Dogs,
D.Jay Andersen

2012 Regular Season Champs
Regular Season Champ: The Strokes, Aaron Pankoke
Hitting Champ: Hostile Mobs of Minecraft,
Weston Livernois
Pitching Champ: Kershawshank Redemption,
Joe Kelly
Power-Hitting Pitchers Champ: Cain I Lincecum In Ur Posey,
Dave Adrian
All-Star Champ: Icepuente’s Sun Devils,
Alec Puente
Arugula Division Champ: Pepino Monos,
Tony Livernois
Cripshead Division Champ: Scoots Bigelow,
Scott Allen
Endive Division Champ: The Nicolas Cagers,
Brendan Butts
Frisee Division Champ: Hostile Mobs of Minecraft,
Weston Livernois
Radicchio Division Champ: Pesky’s Aphids,
Vince Livernois
Romaine Division Champ: Icepuente’s Sun Devils,
Alec Puente
Spinach Division Champ: The Strokes,
Aaron Pankoke
Swiss Chard Division Champ: Chupacabras,
Tyler Shaddy

2012 Payouts
$500 -
Kyle Harmon, Kempin' It Real! - Overall Champ
$500 -
Aaron Pankoke, The Strokes - Regular Season Champ

$275 -
Alec Puente, Icepuente’s Sun Devils - All-Star Champ + Romaine Division Champ
$275 -
Weston Livernois, Hostile Mobs of Minecraft - Hitting Champ + Frisee Division Champ

$150 -
D.Jay Andersen, Deeger's Dogs - Playoff Champ
$150 -
Joe Kelly, Kershawshank Redemption - Pitching Champ
$150 -
Dave Adrian, Cain I Lincecum In Ur Posey - Power-Hitting Pitchers Champ:

$125 -
Tony Livernois, Pepino Monos - Arugula Division Champ
$125 -
Scott Allen , Scoots Bigelow - Cripshead Division Champ
$125 -
Brendan Butts, The Nicolas Cagers - Endive Division Champ
$125 -
Vince Livernois, Pesky’s Aphids - Radicchio Division Champ
$125 -
Josh Bronson, The Bearded Dragons - Spinach Division Runner-Up (a.k.a., next most deserving Regular Season team)
$125 -
Tyler Shaddy, Chupacabras - Swiss Chard Division Champ

Don't forget, there's still one payout to be made for the 2012 season. If you'll scratch your synapses, the league decided at the beginning of last season to extend our
Hall-of-Fame Death Pool for each season until the beginning of the next season. This means that we will start next season by handing out a check to our final 2012 winner. No one currently leads 'cause no HOFers have expired this season, but we're hoping to catch a few quality HOF deaths between now and the beginning of next season.

Congrats to Kyle Harmon and his Kempin' It Real! and congrats to all our 2012 champs and money winners. And thanks to all of you for joining us for a most-excellent season! We look forward to seeing you all next year.

Pedregoso

P.S. If you haven't paid your ownership and trade fees, get on it already! We need to cut some championship checks! (Check Who Owes What to see what you owe. And if you've already paid and we haven't noted it, please let us know.) Send your check to:

Joe Livernois
459 Echo Valley Road
Salinas, CA 93907

If it's more convenient, you can pay your derelict debt using PayPal.

P.P.S. IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL WINNERS: Please respond with your preferred snail mail address so Rube can send your check.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Tigers Still Down By Two Games

MLB World Series 2

With a merciful day off, Friday the Detroit Tigers are still down by just two games in the World Series to the San Francisco Giants, who have had the Midas touch ever since going down 1-3 to the St. Louis Cardinals. Seriously, is there anything the Giants can’t do at this point?

Meanwhile, in the SLPL, The Strokes owner
Aaron Pankoke is just six points ahead in the Overall standings, though he has had that lead for a few days and he doesn’t look as though he wants to give it up easily. D.Jay Andersen’s Deeger’s Dogs are in 1st place in the Playoff standings, though Joe Kelly’s Kershawshank Redemption are hoping to retake the top spot before the Fall Classic ends.

Speaking of which:

Dear Detroit Tigers,

We can’t call it a fall “classic” unless you take it to at least six games.

Hugs and kisses, Pedregoso Rios

Official Arbiter of What We Call Things


Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Game 2 A Snooze Generator

MLB World Series 2

Maybe this would all be more fun if the last, few SLPL players still playing in the World Series would score some points now and again. Triple Crown Miguel, anything? NL MVP Posey, you? Someone? Anyone? C’mon, let’s shake things up a bit.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Game 1 In The Books

MLB World Series 2

Game 1 is in the books and Brother Joe Livernois holds the advantage over Brother Vince Livernois as Verlander choked on the pipe while Tim McCarver spends twice the number of innings praising Verlander than Verlander actually pitched while barely mentioning Zito until Zito was removed from the game but appeared to be on the line to actually win the game. Sometime I love the Fall Classic and other times I want to throw the television out my hotel window. The issue this year? There’s another TV in the other room -- hey, it’s an Embassy Suites! -- which means I’d get stuck watching ’til the end of the game anyway, so what’s the point?

Meanwhile in SLPL action,
D.Jay Andersen’s Deeger’s Dogs have taken over 1st place in the Playoff Standings.

I like it too much.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Let The Fun Begin

MLB World Series 2

The World Series begins.

I like it too much.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Giants Win Game 7; Livernois Family War Begins

MLB Postseason

The San Francisco Giants beat the St. Louis Cardinals last night in Game 7 of the National League Championship Series, setting up a monstrous showdown between brothers and SLPL owners Joe Livernois and Vince Livernois. Jay is a lifelong Giants fan and Vince is a lifelong Detroit Tigers fan. Because Jay has been alive longer, he has the slight edge to win, though that does not factor in Jim Leyland’s age.

Meanwhile, in the SLPL,
Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes retain the Overall lead by just six points while Kershawshank Redemption’s Joe Kelly are ahead in the Playoffs standings. There are just four hittings and five pitchers left to play the World Series, which means that Fox Sports will have to dedicate at least 97 percent of its late-inning World Series coverage to Brian Wilson's antics in the Giants dugout, up from a mere 90 percent during the Championship Series.

I like it too much.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Giants Force Game 7

MLB Postseason

Game 7. That is all.

I like it way too Foxtrottin’ much.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Giants Make Things More Interesting

MLB Postseason

The San Francisco Giants, on the unexpected brilliance of Barry Zito, made things a bit more interesting in the National League Championship Series last night by winning Game 5. Now they’re down two games to three.

I like it too much.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Giants Down 1-3; Tigers Headed to World Series

MLB Postseason

Damn. The San Francisco Giants are down three games to one in the National League Championship Series.

I don’t like it very Foxtrottin’ much.

The Detroit Tigers are headed to the World Series. Awesome.

I like it very Foxtrottin’ much.

Meanwhile, in the SLPL Kempin' It Real! owner
Kyle Harmon has moved within six points of the Overall lead while Kershawshank Redemption owner Joe Kelly is up just 44 points over Deeger's Dogs owner D.Jay Andersen in the Playoffs standings.

I like that very Foxtrottin’ much, too.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Giants Are Down 1-2

MLB Postseason

Wait. What? The San Francisco Giants are down two games to one in the National League Championship Series?

I don’t like it very Foxtrottin’ much.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Yankees Are Down 0-3

MLB Postseason

Wait. What? The New York Yankees are down three games in the American League Championship Series?

I like it way too Foxtrottin’ much!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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War Of Attrition

MLB Postseason

The war of attrition is on. With so few hitters and pitchers in the playoffs, it appears that the team that bleeds the fewest points while getting the occasional hitter home run is the team that will win the Playoffs and, possibly, the Overall standings.

By way of demonstration, while everyone else in the league can’t staunch the point bleeding, Kershawshank Redemption
Joe Kelley has jumped to a big lead in the Playoffs and is making moves in the Overall standings. Joe was 267 points back and in 12th place Overall when the Regular Season ended. He is now in 6th place and 165 points behind Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Sunday Morning WTF!?!? Game One In New York

MLB Postseason

Game One of the American League Championship Series…

Leyland leaves Valverde in to pitch to Ibanez after already giving up a home run to Suzuki.

Suzuki


Ibanez goes all hero again and ties the score. Despite the TBS blowhards rooting hard for the Yankees during the extra innings, the Tigers find a way to pull it out. But before they win, the Tigers win even bigger when Jeter goes down for the rest of the playoffs with an ankle injury. Tigers have two reason to rejoice, but SLPL Cameltowing, Inc., owner
David Edison has a recommendation for Jimmy Leyland via Facebook as a show of sportsmanship after the Yanks lost Jeter:

Leyland


Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Jim Leyland, are you
trying to lose Game 1?!?! Seriously, WTF?!?!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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After The Division Serieseses...

MLB Postseason

With the completely full-slate of Division Serieseses complete, Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes still maintain the Overall lead while D.Jay Andersen’s Deeger's Dogs are ahead in the Playoffs standings. This will be an interesting final two rounds of playoffs given that only ten hitters and eight pitchers remain on playoff rosters.

Remember, points go up again for the League Championship Series to:
. Hitters earn 50 points for every home run hit
. Hitters lose 5 points for every K
. Pitchers earn 5 points for every K
. Pitchers lose 25 points for every homer surrendered

With three remaining hitters and two remaining pitchers, can Aaron maintain his Overall lead? With five hitters and three pitchers in the League Championship Series, can DJay overtake him or even retain his own Playoffs lead? Will some dark horse make a dark horse move and overtake both Aaron ad DJay. Strap ‘er in. We’re in for a fun ride.

I like it too much!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Game Fives

MLB Postseason

How many games of the Divisional Series are going to Game 5?

I like it too much!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Tigers and Red Fans Aren't Liking It Too Much

MLB Postseason

Tigers and Reds fans aren’t going to like this too much but I’m going to say it anyway: I love playoff baseball! C’mon, two five game series in one postseason?!?! It almost makes the impending dreaded Fox Sports coverage bearable ahead of time.

I like it too much!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Bay Area Teams Live To See Another Day

MLB Postseason

They aren’t scoring a lot of runs or making the game look very easy, but the Giants and A’s both found ways to win last night, which means their series will go at least one more game apiece.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Beware Deeger's Dogs

MLB Postseason

With a slew of last-minute trades, Deeger's Dogs owner D.Jay Andersen set himself up nicely for the postseason. In 6th place Overall at the end of the Regular Season, D.Jay made six trades before the playoffs deadline and has now propelled himself to the top of the Playoffs Standings and is now in 4th place Overall after Monday night’s playoff action. Beware of Deeger's Dogs the rest of the way!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Seriously?

MLB Postseason

Really, Giants? This is the way the 2012 season is going to end for you? I suppose I should have saved yesterday’s Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! for your two home playoff losses.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Sunday Morning WTF!?!? Regular Season Leaders Not Letting Up

MLB Postseason

The fun thing about the SLPL’s playoffs -- usually -- is that they offer a chance for teams who didn’t win much during the Regular Season to come storming back and make hay during the postseason. If the first few days of this season’s playoffs are an indication, however, this postseason may not be as fun as we would like.

Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes and Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils, who finished 1st and 3rd in the Regular Season, have scored 42 points so far and lead in the Playoffs standings. They are now 1st and 2nd in the Overall standings. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Regular Season leaders, you can’t allow some of the season’s also-rans a chance at a little fantasy baseball glory?!?! Seriously, Aaron Pankoke and Alec Puente, WTF?!?!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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The "Wild" In Wild Card; Klinkhamer Not Wild About Blown Call

wildcard_zps0685c6cb

I umpired a game in college where I had to call the infield fly rule. The ball was, like, 15 feet behind first base and easily catchable. I called it correctly, but the players went berserk. They were screaming, trying to tell me that the ball had to be in the infield, which is clearly wrong. I gave the ol’ “ordinary effort” line, told them to refer to their rule books when they got home, and predicted that they would apologize to me the next time I umpired one of their games. Oddly, and I never expected that would, they did apologize. I considered it a very small victory.

There are no victories to be had after a call like this:



Technically, I suppose the umpire was right here -- it didn’t take extraordinary effort to get to the ball --
but damn, it sure does seem to violate the spirit of the rule, which is to prevent teams from purposely dropping the ball in order to generate an easy double play. That wasn’t going to happen here, so the umpire’s call was just over-managing the game. Unfortunate.

Speaking of Unfortunate…
We made our own unfortunate call when we announced the Regular Season champs. It turns out we declared Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer the champ of the Power-Hitting Pitchers standings. We didn’t hear boo about it until yesterday, when Cain I Lincecum In Ur Posey owner Dave Adrian asked for a recount. It appears that during the Regular Season we missed two home runs from Madison Bumgarner and one from Zack Greinke, which meant that we missed a lot of points that should have been used to generate the Power-Hitting Pitchers standings. After checking into Dave’s claim, we realized he was right and that he should have been crowned the Power-Hitting Pitchers champ. We have now made this correction, Kevin has been dethroned, and Dave is now the official champ. For now. Who knows, there may be a few more unknown pitchers home runs that we haven't discovered yet; if those surface, we’ll do another recalculation to see how it works out.

All of this nonsense does point to a need in future seasons: This is one of those stats we have to track manually. Since we obviously don’t catch ‘em all -- who has time to pay attention to such things when there’s tequila to be drunk -- we need to recruit our owners to tells us anytime they hear that a pitcher hits a home run so that we track it better than we did this season.

In Other News...
Our spreadsheet has been updated and Playoff standings and stats are now posted online. Besides the Playoffs standings, we have Overall Standings, Hitting Stats, and Pitching Stats. We are also updating team stats, so take a look at your playoff roster to make sure we got everything right. Stats for the entire playoffs are recorded manually in this league, so do us a favor and let us know ASAP if we got something wrong. Please don’t wait until after we crown the champs to let us know if we missed something, okay?

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Well, That's Wild; And Pankoke Reveals Winning Motivation

You can’t really say we were sleeping at the wheel. Instead, we were sleeping off a hangover in a gutter, down by the river, about as far from the wheel as possible.

Wild Card

It seems the MLB has created a one-game-per-league Wild Card playoff game, about which we were totally unawares. Had we been aware, we might have planned for it by creating another set of points especially for this new round of the playoffs. Instead, we are going to have to treat these games as though they are part of the Divisional Playoffs. So, today’s Wild Card playoff games -- along with the Divisional Playoffs -- will be awarded the following points:

  • Hitters earn 20 points for every home run hit
  • Hitters lose 2 points for every K
  • Pitchers earn 2 points for every K
  • Pitchers lose 10 points for every homer surrendered
And that’s the way it’s gotta be. Next season, someone remind us that we can treat this as its own special category, okay?

In Other News: Pankoke Reveals His Motivation
In a recent text exchange, our 2012 Regular Season Champ Aaron Pankoke, owner of The Strokes, revealed his motivation that lead him to victory:

”It’s really funny. That post you made about all the rookie owners doing well didn’t sit well with me and I decided to make some trades. I wasn’t going to let some punk rookier owner win -- I am sure they are not punks, but let’s go with it. Wings are on me next time we are at the bar!

So it appears that Aaron consciously just up and decided to smack the newcomers around just by flexing a little veteran muscle. Impressive. And while his motivation inspires us, it is his offer to buy a round of chicken wings that really warms our hearts. Good on ya’, Aaron.

Final Regular Season Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Aaron Pankoke Crowned SLPL's 2012 Regular Season Champ!

It came down to nine points. Nine measly points. That's how many points to which it came. Less than a single hitter's home run. But after the smoke cleared from a season that saw the Overall Standings dominated by Tyler Shaddy's Chupacabras and Alec Puente's Icepuente's Sun Devils, Aaron Pankoke's The Strokes -- a team that didn't hit the top of the standings until early September -- ultimately won the Regular Season Championship on Wednesday night. "Call me the Oakland A's of the SLPL," Pankoke said after Wednesday's action. "I hung back, I hung back, I hung back ... then I made my move and tried never to look back." Pankoke, who was crowned the Overall Champ of the SLPL in 2003, fended off Puente and Shaddy down the stretch to scrape a cool $500 out of The Pot.

Here’s the complete list of champs crowned at the end of last night’s action, which marked the official end of the 2012 Regular Season:
  • Arugula Division Champ: Pepino Monos (21), Tony Livernois
  • Cripshead Division: Scoots Bigelow (24), Scott Allen
  • Endive Division Champ: The Nicolas Cagers (28), Brendan Butts
  • Frisee Division Champ: Hostile Mobs of Minecraft (19), Weston Livernois
  • Radicchio Division Champ: Pesky’s Aphids (30), Vince Livernois
  • Romaine Division Champ: Icepuente’s Sun Devils (9), Alec Puente
  • Spinach Division Champ: The Strokes (12), Aaron Pankoke
  • Swiss Chard Division Champ: Chupacabras (16), Tyler Shaddy
  • Hitting Champ : Hostile Mobs of Minecraft (19), Weston Livernois
  • Pitching Champ: Kershawshank Redemption (16), Joe Kelly
  • Power-Hitting Pitchers Champ: 5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur Posey (13), Dave Adrian UPDATED
  • Regular Season Champ: The Strokes (12), Aaron Pankoke
Congratulations to Aaron Pankoke and to all our Regular Season champs!

In Other News
After a barrage of last-minute trading, owners can no longer make any trades for the 2012 season.

More In Other News
Have you paid for your ownership fees and trades? If not, get on it already. We need to pay our champs, after all.

Still Yet More In Other News
The playoffs are about to begin. Good luck to one and all!

Final Regular Season Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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It's Almost Over

Unless there’s a one-game playoff, and unless there’s a wild, wild final day of the season, Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes will be crowned as Regular Season Champ tonight.

Horse Race
It’s Almost Over

I like it too much!

Meanwhile, have you made your
final trades before the playoffs?

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Things Hold Steady

With just two days left in the Regular Season, Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes still has a sizable lead in the Overall standings over Kyle Harmon’s Kempin' It Real! after yesterday’s action.

Horse Race
Things Hold Steady

I like that too much, too!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Strokes Still In 1st Place; Kempin' It Real Takes Over 2nd

The horserace turned really interesting yesterday. While Aaron Pankoke, owner of The Strokes, still has a sizable lead in the Overall standings, it is now over Kyle Harmon’s Kempin' It Real!, who moved into over 2nd place over Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils after yesterday’s action. There are just three days left in the Regular Season.

Horse Race
Pankoke Still In 1st; Harmon Now In 2nd

I like that too much, too!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Sunday Morning WTF!?!? What Horserace?

Concluding our week’s worth of Sunday Morning WTF!?!? as penance for missing last Sunday’s WTF!?!? ...

While the horserace the last few weeks has been fun as all get out,
Past Champ Aaron Pankoke, owner of The Strokes, is now putting some distance between himself and Alec Puente, owner of Icepuente’s Sun Devils, which means the final days of the season might not be nearly as exciting as we were hoping. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Aaron Pankoke?!? We know you’d rather avoid the drama and win this thing easily, but the rest of us want an epic, dramatic ending that goes down to the wire while we pull out our hair and chew our fingernails to nubs. I mean, seriously, WTF?!?!

Meanwhile, Alec lost a even more ground to
Kyle Harmon’s Kempin' It Real!, who are now just four points out of 2nd place after yesterday’s action. There are just four days left in the Regular Season.

Horse Race
Aaron Pankoke Is Indeed Pulling Away

I like that too much, too!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Saturday Morning WTF!?!? Damn Paparazzi

Continuing our week’s worth of Sunday Morning WTF!?!? as penance for missing Sunday’s WTF!?!? ...

The Livernois Brothers didn’t know they were being photographed when stumbling home from a bar:

Livernois Brothers Walking Home from a Bar
From left: Livernois Brothers Joe, Tony, Sam, and Vince …“walking” home from a bar


Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, paparazzi?!? Did we tell you that you could photograph us?!?! I mean, seriously, WTF?!?!

In SLPL action,
Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes went on a rampage last night and opened up a sizable lead over Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils. Alec also lost ground to Kyle Harmon’s Kempin' It Real!, who are now just seven points out of 2nd place after yesterday’s action. There are just five days left in the Regular Season.

Horse Race
Aaron Pankoke May Be Pulling Away

I like that too much, too!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Friday Morning WTF!?!? Walking The…Fish?!

Continuing our week’s worth of Sunday Morning WTF!?!? as penance for missing Sunday’s WTF!?!? ...

I can’t…

I don’t…

I’m trying to figure out…

Does…?

How?

What?

Huh?

2RyRW

Walking fish?

Huh?

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, photographer?!? What the hell is going on here? I mean, WTF??? I mean, seriously, WTF???

In SLPL action, no change in the horse race continues.
Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes continue to maintain a 3 point lead in the Overall standings over Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils after yesterday’s action with just six days of Regular Season left.

Horse Race
The Horse Race Is The Same As Yesterday

I like that too much, too!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Thursday Morning WTF!?!? Ostriches? Huh?

Continuing our week’s worth of Sunday Morning WTF!?!? as penance for missing Sunday’s WTF!?!? ...

I can’t…

I don’t…

I’m trying to figure out…

Does…?

How?

What?

Huh?

Ostriches


And, ostriches?

Huh?

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, random GIF creator?!? What the hell is going on here? I mean, WTF??? I mean, seriously, WTF???

In SLPL action, the horse race continues as
Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils cut into Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes lead in the Overall standings after yesterday’s action. The Stroke’s are up by three points with just seven days of Regular Season left. Meanwhile, Kyle Harmon’s Kempin' It Real!, in third place, is just 30 points off the lead.

Horse Race
The Horse Race Continues with Aaron Still In First,
Alec and Kyle Making Up Ground


I like that too much, too!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Wednesday Morning WTF!?!? Ryan's Bailed Already? On The Stench?

Continuing our week’s worth of Sunday Morning WTF!?!? as penance for missing Sunday’s WTF!?!? ...

Politico reports that Mitt Romney’s running mate Paul Ryan
has taken to calling Mitt “The Stench.” Seriously, Paul?!?! Aren’t you supposed to wait until after the election before you start trashing your would-be boss? Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Paul Ryan!?!? That’s just bad form, man. Bad, bad form. I mean, seriously, WTF!?!?

Having said that, I like it too much.

In SLPL action,
Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes continues to maintain a 14 point lead in the Overall standings over Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils after yesterday’s action with just eight days of Regular Season left.

Horse Race
Aaron’s Still In First


I like that too much, too!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Tuesday Morning WTF!?!? All NFL Replacement Refs Are Referee Pitman

Since we started the week without a Sunday Morning WTF!?!?, howzabout we make up for it by having a week full of WTFs?

This morning’s WTF comes courtesy of the NFL, who still hasn’t settled the labor dispute with referees despite the fact that Mitt Romney, a la John McCain in 2008, is asking to halt the campaign until this travesty of a season is resolved. It turns out that the NFL is now fielding a team of Referee Pitmans for every game. Who’s Referee Pitman, you ask? He was the SNL character of our favorite skit of the past lotsa years, played by John Goodman, who had a weekly show and fielded questions like this from the audience:

Audience Member #3: Yeah, uh, hi, great show. I saw the last game, and I just want to know, do you find it helpful to keep your head up your rear end? I mean, why during the game? It seems that during the game you want to have your head, you know, out and in the open air so you can see the plays. I mean, is it comfortable, or is it for the warmth, or what?

Rock Clark: How about it, Ref? Your head inside your rear end?

Referee Pitman: [ thinking ] No. No, nope, never done that. I wouldn't even know how to go about it, it's an interesting position, but, uh. nope.

Rock Clark: Okay, apparently not. But good question. ...

Audience Member #4: I was just curious - what's in your head, you know, since there's no brain? I mean, is it empty, or is it filled with, say, human excrement?

Rock Clark: I think I can handle that one, Ref. The Ref does have a brain, otherwise he wouldn't be able to conduct this interview right here. That's how I know. I mean, it's basic high school biology. So the excrement question is irrelevant.

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, National Football League, are you going to settle this dispute and bring the real refs back or not!?!? I mean, seriously, WTF?!?!

In SLPL action,
Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes are holding onto their Overall lead over Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils after yesterday’s action with just nine days of Regular Season left.

Horse Race
Aaron’s Still In First


I like it too much!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Monday Morning WTF!?!? What Happened To Yesterday's Sunday Morning WTF!?!?!

Today we are featuring a Monday Morning WTF!?!? since yesterday we plum forgot to do a Sunday Morning WTF!?!? In fact, today’s Monday Morning WTF!?!? is the fact that we forgot to do a Sunday Morning WTF!?!? yesterday.

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, us, just because
Cabbage Farmers owner Paul Martin was hanging out at our abode doesn’t mean we can shirk our SLPL duties. I mean, seriously. WTF!?!?

In SLPL action,
Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes are maintaining their Overall lead over Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils after yesterday’s action with just ten days of Regular Season left.

Horse Race
Aaron’s Still In First


I like it too much!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Strokes Maintain Lead; Quadriplegics R Us, Take 3

Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes are still in the Overall lead over Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils after yesterday’s action, now by 16 points.

Horse Race
Aaron’s Still In First


Meanwhile, for too long we have been too devoid of quadriplegic-inducing actions on this blog. Here’s your fill:

ypLXL
All or Nothing


You gotta like what this kid set out to do … had it worked, it would have been impressive for observers and fun for the kid. Instead, well … a lifetime of quadriplegia.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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It's Friday, Friday … And The Strokes Are Back In First

It’s Friday!!!

Friday
It’s Friday, Friday!!!


Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes are back in the Overall lead over Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils after yesterday’s action; he has a 12 point lead. Kyle Harmon’s Kempin' It Real!, in third place, is just 51 points off the lead.

Horse Race
Aaron’s Back In First


I like it too much!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Sun Devils Back In First

Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils have once again leapfrogged into first, overtaking Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes on yesterday’s action. This is exciting!

Horse Race
Alec’s Again In First
Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Pankoke's The Strokes Retake The Lead

Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes have retaken the Overall lead from Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils after yesterday’s action; he leads by six points with just 15 days left in the Regular Season.

Horse Race
Arron’s Back On Top


This thrill ride down the stretch, I like it too much!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Tee-Up The Tee-Ball

Nothing new to report standings-wise after yesterday’s action -- Icepuente’s Sun Devils owner Alec Puente is still just one point ahead of The Strokes owner Aaron Pankoke -- so let’s just sit back and enjoy a little GIF fun:

qASVp
Tee-Up the Tee-Ball? I Can Do That


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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The Horse Race Continues; Dan Klinkhamer Has His Fee-Fees Hurt

After yesterday’s action, Icepuente’s Sun Devils owner Alec Puente is just one point ahead of The Strokes owner Aaron Pankoke. Meanwhile, Kempin' It Real! owner Kyle Harmon is looking to make a move with a strong 48 point day and is now just 47 points off the lead.

Horse Race
Alec’s Barely Holding On


While real teams are making real moves in the standings, My Wittle Fee-Fees Are Hurt owner
Dan Klinkhamer, who is rapidly becoming the league’s Grandpa Simpson, left us this random message yesterday:

League blows...I made more money this season in (Cabbage Farmers owner) Paul Martin’s much more exciting 15 Run Pool … At least that league takes a little bit of skill and not just dumb luck!! Paul Martin, for SLPL Commissioner!!!

So, in Dan’s world, being randomly assigned an MLB club each month and then sitting around waiting for the team to score exactly 15 runs or win by 15 runs is the definition of “skill.” As opposed to the SLPL, where you select your own roster and can make trades the entire season? It makes you wonder what color the sky is in Dan’s world.


While we are big fans of Paul Martin’s league -- heck, we’ve been trying to figure out a way to fold it into the SLPL for the last several years, but to no avail -- even Paul would admit his league is just one big Roulette table where the numbers are selected for you every month. I doubt Paul would consider that “skill.”

roulette-wheel

Anyway, for the record: Dan pulled $275 out of our pot last season. If he’s saying he has won more than $275 in Paul’s league so far this season, he is a lying sack of Sierra.

For the record, part two: Dan has won $675 in the SLPL over the past three seasons.

Dan, we know you have your wittle fee-fees are hurt because you aren’t gonna win any money this season, but Sierra Tango Foxtrot Uniform about it already, ya whiner.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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We Have A New Leader

And, once again, Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils are back in first place, overtaking Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes. I told you we have a horse race.

Horse Race
Alec’s Back In First


I like it too much!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Now We Have A Horse Race

Just a couple days ago, The Strokes owner Aaron Pankoke enjoyed a 60-something point lead over previous league leader Alec Puente, owner of Icepuente’s Sun Devils. Today, that lead is down to seven measly points. With just a coupla weeks left in the season, we got ourselves a horse race.

Horse Race
And, They’re Off!


I like it too much!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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We're Back! And Mazel Tov to Brian, er, Ben

We’re back! Full standings and stats are posted. Former SLPL owner Ben Thornburg is all Bar Mitzvahed, as expected. More importantly, on the most important day of his young life, Ben kept my unbroken 30-Minutes-or-Less-to-Teach-How-to-Juggle streak alive by learning how to juggle in just 15 minutes. (Ben was even kind enough to thank me for teaching him during his candle lighting ceremony.) The kid’s a quick study.

Quick Study Ben

Meanwhile, Ben’s dad Brian Thornburg, owner of the Carrboro T-Birds, was celebrating another important event on Saturday: Getting to pose with the ubiquitous Dogs Playing Poker, who are making a world tour in 2012. Here’s Brian’s account of the event, via Facebook:

Mazel Tov Brian.JPEG

Brian’s got it all backward, of course. The Dogs and their temporary keeper were honored to be a part of Ben’s big day. Thank you! And Mazel Tov once again to Ben!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Low-Rent Standings for Games Played thru 9-8

Here are the low-rent Overall standings for games played through 9/8.

Name,HR,K,HR,K,Total,
7C The Strokes,2890,-877,-390,940,2563,
6F Icepuente’s Sun Devils,3030,-1050,-400,956,2536,
7A Kempin' It Real!,3000,-1061,-390,926,2475,
4F Hostile Mobs of Minecr,2900,-885,-440,897,2472,
7D The Bearded Dragons,2780,-855,-425,943,2443,
3F The Nicolas Cagers,2930,-932,-415,853,2436,
8B Chupacabras,2860,-982,-370,912,2420,
5B Pesky’s Aphids,2910,-992,-405,901,2414,
2C Scoots Bigelow,2870,-970,-390,901,2411,
4E Deeger's Dogs,2770,-890,-415,904,2369,
6A Kershawshank Redemptio,2700,-913,-385,945,2347,
2A Guao Wee!,2900,-1024,-435,865,2306,
4A Full Circuits,2790,-967,-450,907,2280,
6E Dongwhipped,2620,-919,-400,949,2250,
1A Pepino Monos,2760,-925,-435,843,2243,
8A Cameltowing, Inc.,2670,-913,-385,871,2243,
7B Dodger Blue,2740,-1071,-405,960,2224,
5A Sandyeggo Tripper's,2410,-773,-350,917,2204,
3B Krukow's Fever,2650,-911,-445,906,2200,
4D Carrboro T-Birds,2670,-959,-415,885,2181,
1D Dodgerless,2770,-1037,-475,922,2180,
4B Skeeters Ringers,2490,-833,-425,943,2175,
6B Speaking Frankly,2630,-921,-385,851,2175,
3A Highlanders,2640,-938,-450,909,2161,
5F The Howards,2650,-961,-370,840,2159,
5C Guzzlyn Suds,2580,-840,-395,795,2140,
5D $2Bil4theselosers?,2550,-822,-430,827,2125,
1E This League Still Blow,2530,-851,-410,812,2081,
2F Towers of Terror,2620,-977,-430,857,2070,
3D Valley Bombers,2490,-877,-430,878,2061,
5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur,2510,-850,-375,771,2056,
4C Cabbage Farmers,2380,-836,-390,888,2042,
1F Cruzin up ur Pujols,2400,-877,-435,946,2034,
3E Bauer's Bandits,2330,-712,-425,831,2024,
2E ANF 2012,2470,-889,-400,837,2018,
3C F' cryin' out loud!!,2230,-680,-410,812,1952,
2D The Pathetics,2330,-773,-420,813,1950,
6D Bats in my Beltre,2240,-660,-450,813,1943,
2B Washington Bullets,2370,-701,-455,710,1924,
8E Tres Caballeros,2290,-880,-400,893,1903,
7E Screaming Scoregasms,2450,-850,-355,642,1887,
7F The Pork Bellys,2400,-910,-405,771,1856,
6C Southside Laymen,2350,-886,-425,809,1848,
8C Moyer! The Musical,2290,-962,-450,956,1834,
8F Chupa mi Pena!,2290,-931,-410,872,1821,
1B Rio Nuevo Grunion Runn,2170,-868,-425,857,1734,
1C Triple Crown,1800,-746,-280,596,1370,
8D Reno's Thinly Veiled,1690,-857,-475,751,1109,

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Low-Rent Standings for Games Played thru 9-7

As mentioned yesterday, we can’t update the full website while we are traveling. But we are hoping this low-rent version of the Overall standings will tide you all over in the meantime.

Name,HR,K,HR,K,Total,
7C The Strokes,2860,-866,-385,929,2538,
6F Icepuente’s Sun Devils,3010,-1046,-395,945,2514,
7A Kempin' It Real!,2990,-1052,-385,923,2476,
4F Hostile Mobs of Minecr,2890,-878,-440,897,2469,
7D The Bearded Dragons,2760,-848,-405,935,2442,
3F The Nicolas Cagers,2900,-924,-410,850,2416,
2C Scoots Bigelow,2860,-960,-390,893,2403,
5B Pesky’s Aphids,2900,-986,-405,893,2402,
8B Chupacabras,2840,-978,-365,901,2398,
4E Deeger's Dogs,2760,-879,-410,901,2372,
6A Kershawshank Redemptio,2690,-908,-380,942,2344,
2A Guao Wee!,2890,-1013,-430,862,2309,
4A Full Circuits,2780,-962,-430,899,2287,
1A Pepino Monos,2750,-914,-435,843,2244,
6E Dongwhipped,2610,-917,-395,946,2244,
8A Cameltowing, Inc.,2650,-908,-380,860,2222,
7B Dodger Blue,2720,-1061,-400,957,2216,
3B Krukow's Fever,2640,-902,-430,901,2209,
5A Sandyeggo Tripper's,2410,-766,-350,903,2197,
4B Skeeters Ringers,2480,-829,-405,935,2181,
1D Dodgerless,2750,-1028,-455,914,2181,
6B Speaking Frankly,2630,-917,-380,843,2176,
3A Highlanders,2630,-931,-430,901,2170,
4D Carrboro T-Birds,2660,-955,-410,875,2170,
5F The Howards,2630,-955,-370,840,2145,
5D $2Bil4theselosers?,2540,-811,-415,822,2136,
5C Guzzlyn Suds,2570,-832,-390,786,2134,
1E This League Still Blow,2510,-848,-405,809,2066,
5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur,2510,-842,-375,771,2064,
2F Towers of Terror,2590,-971,-410,849,2058,
3D Valley Bombers,2470,-871,-425,875,2049,
3E Bauer's Bandits,2330,-706,-405,823,2042,
4C Cabbage Farmers,2370,-829,-385,885,2041,
1F Cruzin up ur Pujols,2380,-868,-430,935,2017,
2E ANF 2012,2460,-883,-395,834,2016,
6D Bats in my Beltre,2240,-650,-435,808,1963,
3C F' cryin' out loud!!,2220,-670,-405,809,1954,
2D The Pathetics,2310,-771,-420,813,1932,
2B Washington Bullets,2360,-694,-440,705,1931,
8E Tres Caballeros,2280,-873,-395,877,1889,
7E Screaming Scoregasms,2420,-843,-355,642,1864,
6C Southside Laymen,2340,-875,-405,801,1861,
7F The Pork Bellys,2390,-902,-405,766,1849,
8C Moyer! The Musical,2270,-955,-430,948,1833,
8F Chupa mi Pena!,2290,-924,-405,869,1830,
1B Rio Nuevo Grunion Runn,2150,-864,-425,852,1713,
1C Triple Crown,1790,-742,-270,590,1368,
8D Reno's Thinly Veiled,1660,-848,-455,743,1100,

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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It's Friday, Friday … And We're Going Dark

We love this GIF ‘cause it’s Friday, Friday, BOOM!

Friday
It’s Friday, Friday!!!


Anyway, I know we’re heading down the final length of the season and this is not a good time to say this, but: we’re going dark. I’m headed to North Carolina to attend former Carrboro T-Birds co-owner Ben Thornburg’s Bar Mitzvah.

Ben
Mazel tov, Ben!


Ben is the son of Carrboro T-Birds owner
Brian Thornburg, who between planning the Ben’s Bar Mitzvah is lamenting the fact that the Nats are closing down Stephen Strasburg’s season September 12th. Brian’s T-Birds are currently in 22nd place Overall.

While we say we’re going dark, we may -- hotel Internet connection willing -- be able to post up low-rent Overall standings right here on this page. (That would mean we won’t be updating any other page on the site.) Though it won’t be the full-featured site to which you have become accustomed, it’s something. Wish us luck. And if we’re not successful posting to this page, just hang loose ’til next Monday, when everything should be fully up and running again.

BTW, you probably didn’t realize this, but the Santa Lechuga Power League tries to have a representative available at every one of its owners major life events. Have a kid who’s having a Bar Mitzvah? We’ll be there, camera in hand. Getting married? We’ll officiate. Did you pass away? We’ll be a pall bearer. Buying a new car? We’ll help you negotiate so that you get the undercoating for free. Why do we do this for our owners? Because, like we said when we were trying to get you to join the league,
we don’t want you to get lost in the crowd. That’s just the kind of fantasy league we run.

Mazel tov!


Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Bad Day For Sun Devils; Veterans Flex Old-School Muscle

After reading our August 20 entry “What The What? Rookie Owners Are Dominating,” where we marveled at how rookie owners were kicking butt and taking names in the league, a few veteran owners have flexed some old-school veteran muscle on the whippersnappers. And it has paid off.

With last night’s action, Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes -- after making two deft trades before the trade deadline -- bumped Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils from the top spot in the Overall Standings. No one knows where The Strokes came from, but past-champ Aaron (2003) has played like one down the stretch and now finds himself controlling the league.

Meanwhile, Dongwhipped owner
Kevin Klinkhamer, who recently picked up pitcher Adam Wainwright, was promptly awarded for his move when Wainwright hit a home run on the 5th, matching his Magic Number and propelling ‘whipped into first place of the Power-Hitting Pitchers Standings, thereby knocking the Sun Devils from that perch, too. Yeah, yesterday was a bad day for Alec.

Veteran Kempin' It Real! owner
Kyle Harmon also made a trade shortly after our blog entry ran … and now finds himself in 3rd place Overall. Scoots Bigelow owner Scott “Scoot Bigs” Allen made three trades before the deadline and now finds himself in 6th place Overall.

Will the veterans hold their spots? Will the rookies make some counter-moves? Stay tuned for what should be a fun stretch run.


Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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$20 Trades Are Now In Effect

The $20 Trade is now in effect.

payloom-1-thumbnail_1


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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$15 Trades About to End; Make 'Em by 1:05 EST

With the first pitch of the first game to be played today, the cost of SLPL trades goes up from $15 to $20. Since the first game to be played today will be at 1:05 pm Eastern time, get us any trades you may have before then. Use this form to submit your trades.

payloom-2-thumbnail_1

A reminder: Five paid trades nets you one free trade. Ten paid trades nets you two more free trades. If you're close to either, remember that you can use your free trades anytime before the end of the Regular Season, which means your free trades will be worth $20 each. That way, you can prepare for the playoffs by loading up with players from playoff teams ... for free. Think about it.

Good luck the rest of the way!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Repeating from 8/23: How Ya' Doin'?

Repeating from August 23rd, since the $15 Trade is nearly extinct...

No, seriously. How are you doing? I mean, in the
Overall Standings? The Division Standings? Hitting? Pitching? The rest?

I ask because I’m concerned that you might not be getting the most out of your team this season. Here it is, early September, and you’ve put some time, some effort, some real cash-money into this league, and I want you to feel as though you got as much out of this season as you put into it. But if you’re currently not slated to
scrape any money out of The Pot at the end of the season, it would be severely disappointing, not only to me and to you, but also to all those little kids who have been rooting for your team all year, all the fans that have supported you, and all the souvenir makers who make a living selling your team swag. You really should do everything you can to avoid such disappointments.

I bring all this up because the $15 trade is almost null-and-void.
On September 3rd, the price of a trade will go up to $20. Consider making a move now. Do it for all the kids, the fans, and the souvenir makers. Most of all, do it to try to salvage some measure of self respect.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Fox Valley Fantasy Football League Begins Fourth Season

The Fox Valley Fantasy Football League, run by Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer, kicked off it’s fourth season yesterday with another epically raucous draft. Made up mostly of current/past SLPL owners, the FVFFL is a bit more true to fantasy sports traditions than the SLPL, complete with an actual draft and all the other fantasy fixin’s.

Kevin runs one hell of a league, but in its brief history the draft has become notorious for Kevin’s epic tirades. Yesterday, SLPL owner
Aaron Pankoke took the Under-Six-Rounds-Until-Kevin-Explodes and won at the very last second when, with a single pick left in the 5th round, Kevin melted down because someone questioned his draft picks. I had the Under-One-Hour-Until-Kevin-Throws-An-Innocent-Party-Under-the-Bus-While-Ranting-About-Someone-Else, but David “Eddie” Edison didn’t catch that flack until the 1-hour, 4-minute mark. For pure entertainment purposes, I would opt to forego the fantasy league itself and just have a weekly draft to develop new ways to wager around Kevin’s draft day onslaughts. In Kevin’s defense, we are all a bunch of reaction-provoking jagweeds; but the provoke-react-provoke-react dynamic -- a time-honored comedic staple -- is just too rich to avoid.

Anyway, here are a couple pics from draft day:

Dogs and Commish
The Commish with the Dogs Playing Poker
(Click to embiggenate.)

2012 Draft Board
The Final 2012 Draft Board
(Click to embiggenate.)


And, yeah, that’s me drafting a kicker in the eighth round, 15 picks before anyone else took a kicker. Don’t like the pick? Peanuts and corn, baby. Peanuts and corn.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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How Ya' Doin'?

No, seriously. How are you doing? I mean, in the Overall Standings? The Division Standings? Hitting? Pitching? The rest?

I ask because I’m concerned that you might not be getting the most out of your team this season. Here it is, late August, and you’ve put some time, some effort, some real cash-money into this league, and I want you to feel as though you got as much out of this season as you put into it. But if you’re currently not slated to
scrape any money out of The Pot at the end of the season, it would be severely disappointing, not only to me and to you, but also to all those little kids who have been rooting for your team all year, all the fans that have supported you, and all the souvenir makers who make a living selling your team swag. You really should do everything you can to avoid such disappointments.

I bring all this up because the $15 trade is almost null-and-void. On September 3rd, the price of a trade will go up to $20.
Consider making a move now. Do it for all the kids, the fans, and the souvenir makers. Most of all, do it to try to salvage some measure of self respect.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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This Pleases Me

It’s my birthday, so I thought I’d post something that pleases me (as though everything I post here doesn’t please me; c’est la vie.). It doesn’t have anything to do with baseball or anything else related to the league, but it always makes me laugh. So, here goes, Mr. Deity dealing with Lucifer:



And here they are again:



Happy Birthday to me. And thank you for allowing me this diversion (as though most everything I post here isn’t a diversion).

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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What The What? Rookie Owners Are Dominating

Check out today’s Overall Standings. Notice anything odd? Anything maybe a little amazing? Anything perhaps a bit disconcerting?

Here it is, August 20th, and our four top teams are owned by rookie owners:
  • Alec Puente’s Icepuente’s Sun Devils, recruited by Vince Livernois, owner of Pesky’s Aphids, are atop the league today, but they’ve been battling it out with Tyler Shaddy’s Chupacabras, recruited by Kyle Harmon, owner of Kempin' It Real!, for most of the season.
  • Meanwhile, Josh Bronson’s The Bearded Dragons, recruited by Joshua Livernois, owner of Reno's Thinly Veiled Hatred For Californians, are today in third place. Bronson’s Dragons have made a good showing all year and don’t appear to be fading.
  • In fourth place, from out of nowhere and without any fanfare, sits Brendan Butts’ The Nicolas Cagers, recruited by The Pathetics, Ray Jasutis. Brendan’s Cagers have stormed up the standings under the radar and look as though they may make some hay before the season is out.

So, what gives? Why all the strong rookie teams? Whatever’s happening, veteran owners might want to take from the rookies’ handbooks to figure out their formula for success. It’s really quite a marvel.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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This Lady Is Heinious

Seriously, the worst type of person on this planet.

rmil3


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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For Babs

The matriarch of the Livernois Clan passed away one year ago today. Barbara Livernois was an owner in the Santa Lechuga Power League years ago and was the mother to six kids, all of whom are or were owners in this dopey little league. As a tribute to Babs on this day, we are featuring a video you have likely already seen because it heavily features the one and only manifested Bobblehead-of-Lettuce, which Mom created after we had conjured it up from our imaginations shortly after the horror show of 9/11.


Babs’ Bobblehead


I own the Bobblehead-of-Lettuce and will treasure it until I move on to the great cornfield-turned-baseball diamond in the sky. We miss you, Babs.

Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble!
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We're Back

We’re back, and just in time for Pesky’s Aphids owner Vince Livernois’ planned tribute to the loss of a beloved Red Sock. According to Vinnie:

The Aphids are planning on flying in formation minus one this Saturday in honor of the passing of Johnny Pesky.

This will be one of those don’t miss scenarios since teams rarely field only eight players for an entire game. Don’t miss it.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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We're Dark

We got up early enough before leaving for the airport so that we were able to update today’s stats and standings, so everything’s up-to-date through last night’s games (including a trade made last night). But we won’t have the necessary files while we are on the road, so we are now dark until Thursday morning.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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The Commish Is Okay, But We're Going Dark

Most SLPL league officials are headed to NYC tomorrow to talk shop with the MLB. We are lobbying them to try to change the way official stats are tracked so that we can include the mother of all power hits, the grand slam, in their daily stats package. This would allow us to award extra points for grand slams in our normal, day-to-day stats, which would be way-cool. While we are away, this website is going dark. We will not be updating league stats, nor will we have updates on this blog. We will resume normal (if late) operations on Thursday morning.

Not attending our MLB talks is Commissioner
Rube Furrow (a.k.a., Joe Livernois) who was rushed to Salinas Valley Memorial Hospital from Santa Lechuga proper yesterday morning. Thankfully, Rube survived an aortic explosion and will actually be going home today after a stent insertion. Click below to read the Facebook account from the horse’s mouth:

The Commish
Whiskey?! Tango?! Alpha?! Foxtrot?! Commissioner Furrow
(Click to enlargenate.)


Obviously, we here are the Santa Lechuga Power League are immensely relieved to hear that Rube’s going to be alright. As much as we bust on the guy, deservedly, we definitely prefer the world with him in it. Get well fast, Jay.


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Bud Selig Pinky-Swears He’ll Retire When His Contract Ends In 2014

By Kevin Klinkhamer
Sure Bud, every MLB fan believes that you will actually retire when your contract ends in 2014. Hopefully it will all be a moot point anyway and you experience an unfortunate (but not for SLPL) death before then. Die, Bud Selig, die!!! That is all.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Missed It By That Much

This was my seat for what should have been a no-hitter last night:

First Row, Above the Ivy

Kershawshank Redemption owner Joe Kelley, meanwhile, was also in attendance:

Joe Kelley for One Hitter-Photo courtesy Kelly Parkhill Cameron
Photo courtesy Kelly Parkhill Cameron


I trust he as as bummed as I was that the Cubs scraped up that hit.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Not Fade Away: We Need Dirty On Shaddy

So it’s about due time that we just up and admit that Tyler Shaddy, owner of Chupacabras, is not just going to fade into anonymity. While most SLPL newcomers show some life early in the season and then fade like the careers of 70’s sitcom actors, Tyler has been relentlessly relentless in his quest to kick down the league’s veteran owners and win the whole kitten caboodle in his rookie year as an owner. You look at the Past Leaders and realize that he’s been the top dog for much of this long season, which is why we need to give him overdue and heavy props for his dominance thus far this season. Props to you, Tyler, for your dominance thus far this season.

And, as is our way, it’s time to knock this knucklehead from his perch. Oh, I don’t mean it’s time to knock him out of first place, though that would be nice. I mean it’s time to dig up dirt on him and blast it to the world. Who is this guy? What are his, uh, proclivities? What are his embarrassments? We know he was recruited into the league by vet Kyle Harmon, owner of Kempin' It Real!, but that’s pretty much all we know about the guy. We know he paid his ownership fees rapidly, which immediately endeared him to league officials. But none of that is good, none of that is tasty, none of that is embarrassing. So what kind of dirt can we dig up on Tyler? Real dirt is welcome, sure, but if you have to stretch the truth to sensationalize the story, feel free. Send us your Tyler Shaddy stories
using this fancy form.


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen

Used to be when Alex Rodriguez went on the Disabled List, SLPL owners would flock to trade the bastard. Today when A-Rod goes on the DL, no one blinks.


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Skeeter Living The Life

Jeren “Skeeter” Livernois’ Skeeter’s Ringers are having a decent SLPL season. They’re in 12th place Overall and are just 38 points behind the lead in the Frisee Division. With a few deft moves, his Ringers could do some real damage in the league.

Off the field IRL -- or, rather, in the press box -- Skeeter is tearing it up for
STATS, The Global Leader in Sports Information, Technology and Content as one of their official statisticians for A’s and Giants games. Check this out:

Jay's Tweet on Skeeter

Meanwhile, Skeeter’s mug was recently featured in an article for the San Francisco Chronicle about official scorekeepers. He’s the one on the left:

SF Gate Article

The article makes it sound as though it’s a thankless job, but I doubt that getting paid to sit in the press box, with that view, to watch baseball games keeps Skeeter up at nights lamenting his being under-appreciated.

Congrats, Jeren, on the killer gig!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Big Papi On DL

As if the Joeys weren’t enough, now David “Big Papi” Ortiz has gone on the disabled list. Use this form trade the ol’ boy.


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Joey Bats, Votto Are On DL

Jose “Joey Bats” Bautista has been placed on the 15-Day Disabled List and Joey Votto recently had knee surgery, which are both bad news for those of us who were hoping that there would be no injuries to SLPL superstars after the All-Star break. Use this form trade the ol’ boys.


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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David Edison Gets A Tattoo

Cameltowing, Inc., owner David Edison recently got a tattoo. Sure it’s a bit literal, but we find it amusing.

Davd Edison Gets A Tattoo
A Bit Literal, But Funny
(Click picture to enlargenate.)
Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Trades Now Cost $15

15 Buck

The $10 Trade is dead. Trades now cost $15. That is all.

Wait! That’s not all!
Trades have been made. The Pot has grown. Rosters have changed. It’s going to be a great second half!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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$10 Trades About to End; Make Your Mid-Season Trades by 2:20 EST

10 Buck Trades

With the first pitch of the first game to be played today -- the first after the All-Star Break -- the cost of SLPL trades goes up from $10 to $15. Since the first game to be played today will be at 2:20 pm Eastern time, you will want to get us your mid-season trades by then. Use this form to submit your trades.

Thanks. And good luck during the second half of the season!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Who's On The DL? What's Their Outlook?

10 Buck Trades

Given that $10 trades will soon go the way of the dodo, we thought now would be a good time to give owners an update on SLPL rostered players who are on the Disabled List. So, here goes:

  • CC Sabathia as of 7/10: "…still plans to return to start July 17 against the Blue Jays.
  • Troy Tulowitzki as of 6/22: "…will need three weeks of exercises before participating in baseball activities. Tulowitzki is likely out for six to eight weeks."
  • Andre Ethier as of 7/7: "The plan for Ethier includes to game with the Dodgers' High-A affiliate before a return to the lineup when the big club is back in action Friday, July 13."
  • Matt Kemp as of 7/7: "The Dodgers are still expecting Kemp to rejoin their lineup Friday when they resume action following the All-Star break. Kemp will play nine innings in center field Saturday before serving as the DH on Sunday."
  • Jacoby Ellsbury as of 7/11: "The Red Sox plan to activate Ellsbury (shoulder) prior to Friday's game against the Rays."
  • Mariano Rivera as of 7/10: "…the 42-year-old could return this season."
  • Giancarlo Stanton as of 7/8: "…underwent successful surgery Sunday and his recovery is expected to last four-to-six weeks."
  • Roy Halladay as of 7/10: "Halladay is expected to make just one rehab start. That would put him on track to return to the Phillies on July 17."
  • Evan Longoria as of 7/8: "Longoria (hamstring) isn't expected to rejoin the Rays until August."
  • Lance Berkman as of 7/6: "The Cardinals slugger is still on track to return shortly after the All-Star break, but he probably won't be ready by July 13."
We hope this helps as you prepare to make roster changes going into the second half of the season.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Giants Beat AL All-Stars; Icepuente’s Sun Devils Crowned All-Star Champ

2012_mlb_all_star_game

We knew who won the 2012 All-Star Championship last night but decided not to officially announce the winner until this morning. We waited in the hopes that we could work up a good head of snark overnight. If there’s one thing we should be able to do after a good night’s sleep it’s to work up all sorts of sarcastic and brutal things to say about a dreary and boring All-Star game that was over in the first inning, a game televised by Fox Sports featuring Joe Buck and Tim McCarver, right?

We must be losing our edge. Or maybe it wasn’t a very good night’s sleep. Because we got nothing.

So, bypassing all the snark of which we are devoid, let’s move on to the official announcement:

Alec Puente, owner of Icepuente’s Sun Devils, is the 2012 All-Star Champion! On the [sarcasm]power[/sarcasm] of three pitching strikeouts while only giving up one hitting strikeout, Alec leapfrogged 38 teams with whom he was tied after the Home Run Derby to win it all, er, the All-Star crown. With his win, Alec scrapes $150 clams out of The Pot, making him the first cash winner in the 2012 season.

Alec Crowned 2012 All-Star Champ, Wins $150
Alec Puente Crowned 2012 All-Star Champ (Click to enlargenate.)


This was the second straight All-Star Game without an SLPL home run hit or given up. SLPL All-Star stats
can be viewed here.

Now, on to additional league business. Ten dollar trades are on the chopping block and will end with the first pitch of the first game played Friday. To make yourself competitive for the remainder of the season, we recommend that you spend this lull in the season to assess your roster and decide who you want to trade and who you want to pick up. Trades go up to $15 after the All-Star Break.

Congratulations to our 2012 All-Star Champ, Alec!

P.S. If you don't know about him, @FakeTimMcCarver on Twitter is a a worth read during televised games. Even though we can't provide the requisite snark, this guy sure can. Enjoy
his coverage from last night here.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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39 Teams Jump Out to All-Star Lead!

zZCnK7w4

With Prince Fielder winning the 2012 Home Run Derby, 39 SLPL teams jumped out to an early lead in the All-Star Standings. Which, if we have to be honest with ourselves, is sort of like having no advantage at all going into Tuesday’s All-Star Game. Well, damn.

On the upside, it sure was fun watching Robinson Cano get exactly zero home runs during the derby. He was like a race horse breaking a foot out of the gate, except the Yankees owners didn’t get to take him back to the barn and shoot him.

2012_mlb_all_star_game

Stay tuned for Tuesday night’s All-Star Game, which will determine our first SLPL champ to be crowned in 2012.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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No More Religious/Political Talk … (With Exceptions); UPDATED

In yesterday’s premier Sunday Morning Foxtrot! Foxtrot! Sierra!, we went all religious/political with all y’alls, and for that we apologize. It is something we have over the years tried to avoid, but since we like to work in stuff recommended for our blog by our owners, we decided to make an exception based on what Kevin Klinkhamer sent us. Besides, it gave us a chance to introduce the excellent new occasional feature Foxtrot! Foxtrot! Sierra!

So we’re shutting down the religious/political stuff on this blog. Our only exceptions will be if we find something particularly funny, particularly juvenile, or both that we would want to share. Like this, from
The Atheist Pig:

Atheist Pig
Peppermint Farts (Click to embiggen.)


UPDATED: Oh, and by the way, the 2012 All-Star Home Run Derby is tonight! Remember, if a player on your roster wins the Home Run Derby, you will be awarded 250 points towards the All-Star Standings.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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We're Back!

We’re back, with standings and stats updated after the July 4th holiday. We hope you had a great one!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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All-Star Reminder

2012_mlb_all_star_game

The 83rd MLB All-Star Game is just a week away, which means SLPL owners have a little longer than that to make final $10 trades. The $15 trade goes into effect with the first pitch of the first game after the All-Star game, which is on July 13th. Size up your roster, identify the dead weight, and pick up some shiny new players. You can check out rules for SLPL’s All-Star Standings here.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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We Went Dark

Don’t ask us how it happened, but we just plain forgot to add a blog entry yesterday. We updated the standings and stats, but we left it there, forgetting to post on the blog. Sheesh. Were we dark? Or am I dim?

Anyway, didjya guys hear that CC Sabathia is on the
15-Day DL? Yeah, that happened. He joins Lance Berkman, Evan Longoria, Matt Kemp, Roy Halladay, and Troy Tulowitzki as SLPL players on the Disabled List. Bummer that, eh? Anyways, if you wanna get rid of your dead weight, consider making a trade before the end of the All-Star break, while trades are still going for the very reasonable $10. Just saying.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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All-Star Game 20 Days Away; $10 Trade Dies Soon Thereafter

2012_mlb_all_star_game

We are less than three weeks away from the 83rd MLB All-Star Game, which will take place on July 10th. This means that SLPL owners have a little more than three weeks to make $10 trades; $15 trades begin with the first pitch of the first game after the All-Star game, which will be on July 13th. Between now and then, you might make it a point to size up your roster against the rest of the league, figure out what dead weight you need to ditch, and pick up some new players.

BTW, if you’re unfamiliar, you should check out the rules for the
SLPL’s All-Star Standings. It’s a special little side-bet feature of our league that factors in the Home Run Derby winner and the game itself to award the first SLPL champ of the season.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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We're Back!

We’re back! Full standings and stats are posted. Former SLPL owner Marcus Rochellle is all graduamated and getting ready to get on with the rest of his life, which his family assumes will end with his face on Mt. Rushmore. Meanwhile, we are all once again still nursing our hangovers. It was a good time, sunburnt or not.

20122112
The Rochellles: Yes, Three Ls (Click to biggerize.)

20122250
Outside His Frat (Click to biggenate.)


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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Low-Rent Standings for Games thru 6-17

Here are the low-rent Overall standings for games played through 6-17.

Name,HR,K,HR,K,Total,
6F Icepuente’s Sun Devils,1460,-479,-200,438,1219,
8B Chupacabras,1430,-451,-195,421,1205,
7D The Bearded Dragons,1350,-410,-215,457,1182,
6A Kershawshank Redemptio,1330,-406,-195,434,1163,
2A Guao Wee!,1410,-452,-200,404,1162,
3F The Nicolas Cagers,1400,-471,-190,410,1149,
4B Skeeters Ringers,1270,-368,-215,457,1144,
6E Dongwhipped,1330,-432,-205,448,1141,
5B Pesky’s Aphids,1370,-448,-210,427,1139,
4E Deeger's Dogs,1310,-412,-210,427,1115,
8A Cameltowing, Inc.,1280,-427,-165,425,1113,
4A Full Circuits,1360,-474,-215,438,1109,
2C Scoots Bigelow,1310,-440,-185,415,1100,
5C Guzzlyn Suds,1210,-387,-140,411,1094,
3E Bauer's Bandits,1220,-376,-175,412,1081,
4D Carrboro T-Birds,1290,-424,-205,417,1078,
7A Kempin' It Real!,1350,-504,-200,426,1072,
5D $2Bil4theselosers?,1280,-392,-215,396,1069,
7C The Strokes,1220,-405,-185,436,1066,
3B Krukow's Fever,1280,-427,-220,429,1062,
1A Pepino Monos,1320,-410,-235,383,1058,
4F Hostile Mobs of Minecr,1240,-397,-200,413,1056,
3A Highlanders,1250,-424,-205,430,1051,
2E ANF 2012,1210,-457,-150,444,1047,
3D Valley Bombers,1210,-391,-205,420,1034,
1D Dodgerless,1310,-506,-220,449,1033,
6B Speaking Frankly,1280,-459,-195,407,1033,
8E Tres Caballeros,1210,-429,-180,431,1032,
5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur,1190,-422,-140,401,1029,
7B Dodger Blue,1260,-494,-200,451,1017,
1E This League Still Blow,1220,-431,-175,387,1001,
5F The Howards,1240,-475,-180,413,998,
7F The Pork Bellys,1210,-419,-195,399,995,
2D The Pathetics,1190,-407,-195,404,992,
2F Towers of Terror,1240,-482,-200,422,980,
2B Washington Bullets,1140,-367,-185,358,946,
5A Sandyeggo Tripper's,1030,-376,-150,433,937,
6D Bats in my Beltre,1080,-332,-215,396,929,
3C F' cryin' out loud!!,1040,-332,-175,387,920,
8C Moyer! The Musical,1130,-454,-230,457,903,
1F Cruzin up ur Pujols,1110,-452,-200,439,897,
7E Screaming Scoregasms,1160,-431,-165,323,887,
6C Southside Laymen,1070,-410,-185,396,871,
8F Chupa mi Pena!,1120,-479,-185,414,870,
4C Cabbage Farmers,1040,-400,-195,414,859,
1B Rio Nuevo Grunion Runn,1080,-430,-205,411,856,
1C Triple Crown,1070,-390,-110,281,851,
8D Reno's Thinly Veiled,940,-420,-200,351,671,

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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|

Low-Rent Standings for Games thru 6-16

Here are the low-rent Overall standings for games played through 6-16.

Name,HR,K,HR,K,Total,
6F Icepuente’s Sun Devils,1440,-473,-200,438,1205,
7D The Bearded Dragons,1340,-404,-215,450,1171,
8B Chupacabras,1390,-445,-195,414,1164,
2A Guao Wee!,1390,-449,-200,404,1145,
3F The Nicolas Cagers,1390,-464,-190,403,1139,
6A Kershawshank Redemptio,1300,-403,-195,427,1129,
4B Skeeters Ringers,1250,-367,-215,450,1118,
6E Dongwhipped,1310,-430,-205,441,1116,
5B Pesky’s Aphids,1340,-445,-210,427,1112,
4E Deeger's Dogs,1280,-409,-210,427,1088,
8A Cameltowing, Inc.,1260,-426,-165,419,1088,
4A Full Circuits,1340,-471,-215,431,1085,
3E Bauer's Bandits,1210,-373,-175,412,1074,
5C Guzzlyn Suds,1190,-382,-140,405,1073,
2C Scoots Bigelow,1280,-436,-185,408,1067,
4D Carrboro T-Birds,1280,-419,-205,410,1066,
7A Kempin' It Real!,1330,-497,-200,419,1052,
7C The Strokes,1200,-399,-185,436,1052,
5D $2Bil4theselosers?,1250,-389,-215,396,1042,
4F Hostile Mobs of Minecr,1220,-392,-200,409,1037,
3B Krukow's Fever,1260,-421,-220,418,1037,
1A Pepino Monos,1300,-405,-235,376,1036,
2E ANF 2012,1190,-454,-150,438,1024,
8E Tres Caballeros,1200,-428,-180,431,1023,
3A Highlanders,1210,-421,-205,430,1014,
6B Speaking Frankly,1250,-454,-195,407,1008,
1D Dodgerless,1280,-496,-220,442,1006,
3D Valley Bombers,1180,-390,-205,420,1005,
7B Dodger Blue,1240,-486,-200,444,998,
5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur,1160,-419,-140,391,992,
7F The Pork Bellys,1200,-416,-195,399,988,
1E This League Still Blow,1200,-430,-175,387,982,
2D The Pathetics,1180,-403,-195,398,980,
5F The Howards,1220,-470,-180,400,970,
2F Towers of Terror,1220,-478,-200,422,964,
5A Sandyeggo Tripper's,1010,-372,-150,433,921,
2B Washington Bullets,1110,-363,-185,358,920,
3C F' cryin' out loud!!,1020,-329,-175,387,903,
6D Bats in my Beltre,1050,-329,-215,396,902,
1F Cruzin up ur Pujols,1100,-447,-200,439,892,
8C Moyer! The Musical,1110,-446,-230,450,884,
7E Screaming Scoregasms,1140,-427,-165,323,871,
8F Chupa mi Pena!,1100,-472,-185,414,857,
1B Rio Nuevo Grunion Runn,1070,-423,-205,404,846,
6C Southside Laymen,1040,-406,-185,396,845,
1C Triple Crown,1060,-388,-110,281,843,
4C Cabbage Farmers,1020,-398,-195,407,834,
8D Reno's Thinly Veiled,930,-416,-200,347,661,

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

|

Low-Rent Standings for Games thru 6-15

Here are the low-rent Overall standings for games played through 6-15.

Name,HR,K,HR,K,Total,
6F Icepuente’s Sun Devils,1410,-465,-200,438,1183,
8B Chupacabras,1370,-439,-185,408,1154,
7D The Bearded Dragons,1310,-398,-205,444,1151,
2A Guao Wee!,1370,-441,-185,395,1139,
4B Skeeters Ringers,1240,-361,-205,444,1118,
3F The Nicolas Cagers,1350,-455,-175,394,1114,
5B Pesky’s Aphids,1330,-437,-205,424,1112,
6E Dongwhipped,1290,-423,-195,435,1107,
6A Kershawshank Redemptio,1270,-400,-195,427,1102,
8A Cameltowing, Inc.,1240,-418,-155,413,1080,
4E Deeger's Dogs,1260,-403,-200,421,1078,
5C Guzzlyn Suds,1180,-375,-135,402,1072,
4A Full Circuits,1300,-463,-205,425,1057,
3E Bauer's Bandits,1180,-366,-165,406,1055,
4D Carrboro T-Birds,1250,-412,-205,410,1043,
2C Scoots Bigelow,1240,-428,-175,402,1039,
5D $2Bil4theselosers?,1230,-383,-200,387,1034,
7C The Strokes,1170,-393,-175,430,1032,
2E ANF 2012,1180,-447,-140,432,1025,
3A Highlanders,1210,-414,-195,424,1025,
7A Kempin' It Real!,1290,-490,-190,413,1023,
1A Pepino Monos,1280,-398,-225,365,1022,
8E Tres Caballeros,1190,-423,-180,431,1018,
4F Hostile Mobs of Minecr,1190,-384,-195,406,1017,
3B Krukow's Fever,1230,-416,-215,415,1014,
3D Valley Bombers,1180,-385,-195,414,1014,
1D Dodgerless,1260,-487,-215,434,992,
5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur,1150,-413,-130,385,992,
7B Dodger Blue,1220,-477,-190,438,991,
6B Speaking Frankly,1220,-448,-180,398,990,
1E This League Still Blow,1190,-423,-165,381,983,
5F The Howards,1210,-462,-170,394,972,
2F Towers of Terror,1210,-470,-190,416,966,
7F The Pork Bellys,1170,-411,-195,399,963,
2D The Pathetics,1150,-398,-185,392,959,
5A Sandyeggo Tripper's,990,-364,-150,433,909,
2B Washington Bullets,1090,-357,-170,344,907,
3C F' cryin' out loud!!,1000,-323,-165,381,893,
6D Bats in my Beltre,1030,-324,-200,387,893,
8C Moyer! The Musical,1110,-437,-230,450,893,
1F Cruzin up ur Pujols,1080,-438,-185,430,887,
7E Screaming Scoregasms,1120,-423,-155,312,854,
1C Triple Crown,1060,-378,-110,278,850,
8F Chupa mi Pena!,1080,-465,-175,408,848,
1B Rio Nuevo Grunion Runn,1050,-413,-205,404,836,
6C Southside Laymen,1020,-399,-185,396,832,
4C Cabbage Farmers,1010,-394,-185,401,832,
8D Reno's Thinly Veiled,910,-408,-200,347,649,

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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|

Low-Rent Standings for Games thru 6-14

Here are the low-rent Overall standings for games played through 6-14.

Name,HR,K,HR,K,Total,
6F Icepuente’s Sun Devils,1390,-457,-185,412,1160,
7D The Bearded Dragons,1300,-395,-195,437,1147,
8B Chupacabras,1350,-434,-175,401,1142,
2A Guao Wee!,1350,-437,-185,387,1115,
4B Skeeters Ringers,1230,-358,-195,437,1114,
3F The Nicolas Cagers,1340,-452,-175,394,1107,
5B Pesky’s Aphids,1320,-433,-195,409,1101,
6E Dongwhipped,1270,-419,-185,428,1094,
6A Kershawshank Redemptio,1250,-397,-185,412,1080,
8A Cameltowing, Inc.,1220,-413,-145,406,1068,
5C Guzzlyn Suds,1170,-373,-135,399,1061,
4E Deeger's Dogs,1240,-399,-190,406,1057,
3E Bauer's Bandits,1170,-363,-165,406,1048,
4A Full Circuits,1270,-457,-195,418,1036,
2C Scoots Bigelow,1230,-426,-165,387,1026,
3A Highlanders,1200,-408,-185,417,1024,
2E ANF 2012,1170,-441,-140,432,1021,
5D $2Bil4theselosers?,1210,-379,-190,380,1021,
7C The Strokes,1160,-390,-160,404,1014,
3B Krukow's Fever,1220,-411,-205,408,1012,
3D Valley Bombers,1170,-382,-185,407,1010,
4D Carrboro T-Birds,1230,-407,-200,386,1009,
4F Hostile Mobs of Minecr,1180,-379,-185,391,1007,
1A Pepino Monos,1260,-393,-225,365,1007,
8E Tres Caballeros,1180,-421,-165,413,1007,
7A Kempin' It Real!,1270,-485,-180,398,1003,
1E This League Still Blow,1190,-420,-155,374,989,
1D Dodgerless,1240,-479,-215,434,980,
7B Dodger Blue,1200,-472,-180,431,979,
5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur,1140,-408,-130,377,979,
6B Speaking Frankly,1200,-443,-170,391,978,
5F The Howards,1200,-456,-160,387,971,
2F Towers of Terror,1200,-464,-180,409,965,
2D The Pathetics,1140,-393,-175,385,957,
7F The Pork Bellys,1150,-408,-185,392,949,
2B Washington Bullets,1080,-353,-170,344,901,
5A Sandyeggo Tripper's,990,-362,-135,407,900,
8C Moyer! The Musical,1100,-430,-210,436,896,
6D Bats in my Beltre,1020,-322,-190,380,888,
1F Cruzin up ur Pujols,1080,-434,-170,412,888,
3C F' cryin' out loud!!,990,-321,-155,374,888,
1C Triple Crown,1050,-374,-100,271,847,
7E Screaming Scoregasms,1110,-419,-155,311,847,
8F Chupa mi Pena!,1070,-459,-165,401,847,
4C Cabbage Farmers,1000,-389,-175,394,830,
6C Southside Laymen,1000,-394,-175,389,820,
1B Rio Nuevo Grunion Runn,1020,-406,-195,397,816,
8D Reno's Thinly Veiled,900,-403,-200,347,644,

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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|

Low-Rent Standings for Games thru 6-13

As mentioned earlier this week, we can’t update the full website while we are traveling … but this low-rent version of the Overall standings should tide you all over in the meantime. We’ll be back to full up-and-running standings next Tuesday.

Name,HR,K,HR,K,Total,
6F Icepuente’s Sun Devils,1380,-453,-185,412,1154,
7D The Bearded Dragons,1290,-391,-195,429,1133,
8B Chupacabras,1340,-430,-175,393,1128,
4B Skeeters Ringers,1230,-356,-195,429,1108,
5B Pesky’s Aphids,1320,-429,-195,409,1105,
2A Guao Wee!,1340,-431,-185,379,1103,
3F The Nicolas Cagers,1330,-446,-175,386,1095,
6E Dongwhipped,1270,-412,-185,420,1093,
6A Kershawshank Redemptio,1240,-391,-185,404,1068,
8A Cameltowing, Inc.,1220,-411,-145,398,1062,
5C Guzzlyn Suds,1160,-369,-135,391,1047,
4E Deeger's Dogs,1230,-394,-190,398,1044,
3E Bauer's Bandits,1150,-359,-165,398,1024,
2C Scoots Bigelow,1220,-420,-165,387,1022,
4A Full Circuits,1260,-453,-195,410,1022,
3A Highlanders,1200,-406,-185,409,1018,
5D $2Bil4theselosers?,1200,-375,-190,380,1015,
3B Krukow's Fever,1210,-405,-205,408,1008,
2E ANF 2012,1160,-437,-140,424,1007,
3D Valley Bombers,1170,-379,-185,399,1005,
8E Tres Caballeros,1180,-416,-165,405,1004,
4D Carrboro T-Birds,1220,-403,-200,386,1003,
1A Pepino Monos,1250,-388,-225,365,1002,
4F Hostile Mobs of Minecr,1170,-375,-185,391,1001,
7C The Strokes,1150,-385,-160,396,1001,
7A Kempin' It Real!,1260,-479,-180,390,991,
1E This League Still Blow,1190,-417,-155,366,984,
5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur,1140,-404,-130,377,983,
5F The Howards,1200,-454,-160,387,973,
7B Dodger Blue,1190,-468,-180,423,965,
6B Speaking Frankly,1190,-438,-170,383,965,
2F Towers of Terror,1200,-459,-180,401,962,
1D Dodgerless,1220,-476,-215,426,955,
7F The Pork Bellys,1140,-401,-185,392,946,
2D The Pathetics,1120,-390,-175,385,940,
5A Sandyeggo Tripper's,990,-357,-135,407,905,
2B Washington Bullets,1070,-350,-170,344,894,
1F Cruzin up ur Pujols,1080,-427,-170,404,887,
6D Bats in my Beltre,1010,-318,-190,380,882,
8C Moyer! The Musical,1090,-429,-210,428,879,
3C F' cryin' out loud!!,980,-317,-155,366,874,
7E Screaming Scoregasms,1100,-410,-155,311,846,
8F Chupa mi Pena!,1070,-455,-165,393,843,
1C Triple Crown,1040,-369,-100,263,834,
4C Cabbage Farmers,1000,-386,-175,394,833,
1B Rio Nuevo Grunion Runn,1010,-404,-195,397,808,
6C Southside Laymen,990,-389,-175,381,807,
8D Reno's Thinly Veiled,900,-400,-200,339,639,

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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|

Heads Up

Starting this Thursday, the SLPL blog will be going dark again. Former SLPL owner Marcus Rochellle is graduating from University of California, Santa Barbara, and the Family Livernois will be converging there to celebrate. As we did when league leader, Ice Puente owner Alec Puente, graduated in May, we will try to post low-rent standings on this page even though the rest of the website will not be updated until the following Tuesday. So, heads up.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

|

Kemp Down Again; Tulo Goes Down; Halladay Still Down

There’s been a big wave of trading lately with the news that: Matt Kemp is back on the DL after getting off it for two days, Roy Halladay is still on the DL and will be there for a while, and Troy Tulowitzki will be down for a spell.

So, what? Are you gonna stand pat, sit idle, play footsie, and remain apathetic while your fellow owners are shucking the deadweight? Get to it and
make some trades, willya?

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

|

We're Back!

We’re back! Full standings and stats are posted. Icepuente’s Sun Devils owner Alec Puente is all graduamated and getting ready to attend ASU. And we’re still nursing our hangovers. It’s been a long week.

Rube Furrow, Vinnie Livernois and Alec Puente
Rube Furrow, Vinnie Livernois, and Alec Puente (Click to biggerize.)


The Cake
The Cake (Click to biggenate.)


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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|

Low-Rent Standings for Games thru 5-26

Here are the low-rent Overall standings for games played through 5/25.

Name,HR,K,HR,K,Total,
8B Chupacabras,1050,-309,-125,321,937,
7D The Bearded Dragons,1020,-305,-145,334,904,
3F The Nicolas Cagers,1020,-337,-125,311,869,
6F Icepuente’s Sun Devils,1050,-343,-150,311,868,
4B Skeeters Ringers,940,-278,-145,334,851,
2A Guao Wee!,1030,-318,-145,280,847,
5B Pesky’s Aphids,1000,-320,-160,295,815,
3B Krukow's Fever,960,-310,-155,306,801,
6E Dongwhipped,920,-305,-135,318,798,
4E Deeger's Dogs,940,-295,-150,302,797,
6A Kershawshank Redemptio,900,-283,-140,311,788,
8A Cameltowing, Inc.,900,-319,-105,308,784,
2C Scoots Bigelow,910,-303,-130,304,781,
7A Kempin' It Real!,950,-351,-130,308,777,
5D $2Bil4theselosers?,930,-291,-150,287,776,
7C The Strokes,860,-279,-115,309,775,
1A Pepino Monos,930,-282,-165,287,770,
4A Full Circuits,940,-351,-140,315,764,
3D Valley Bombers,890,-287,-145,306,764,
3A Highlanders,890,-308,-140,315,757,
3E Bauer's Bandits,850,-288,-135,315,742,
4F Hostile Mobs of Minecr,890,-276,-150,273,737,
5C Guzzlyn Suds,820,-273,-100,282,729,
2F Towers of Terror,900,-349,-140,315,726,
6B Speaking Frankly,890,-334,-125,293,724,
5F The Howards,880,-350,-115,308,723,
1E This League Still Blow,850,-312,-120,303,721,
4D Carrboro T-Birds,870,-300,-155,306,721,
1D Dodgerless,900,-353,-170,332,709,
8E Tres Caballeros,850,-329,-125,313,709,
2D The Pathetics,840,-309,-115,289,705,
3C F' cryin' out loud!!,760,-245,-120,303,698,
7B Dodger Blue,840,-340,-125,321,696,
7F The Pork Bellys,860,-313,-140,281,688,
7E Screaming Scoregasms,870,-316,-115,240,679,
2B Washington Bullets,800,-261,-150,281,670,
1B Rio Nuevo Grunion Runn,800,-307,-135,304,662,
1F Cruzin up ur Pujols,810,-329,-120,300,661,
2E ANF 2012,770,-324,-90,305,661,
6D Bats in my Beltre,760,-243,-150,287,654,
6C Southside Laymen,780,-298,-145,314,651,
5A Sandyeggo Tripper's,720,-260,-110,297,647,
8C Moyer! The Musical,800,-331,-155,329,643,
5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur,750,-297,-90,261,624,
4C Cabbage Farmers,700,-302,-130,312,580,
8F Chupa mi Pena!,740,-337,-125,300,578,
1C Triple Crown,720,-286,-80,207,561,
8D Reno's Thinly Veiled,660,-318,-170,259,431,

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

|

Low-Rent Standings for Games thru 5-25

Here are the low-rent Overall standings for games played through 5/25.

Name,HR,K,HR,K,Total,
8B Chupacabras,1020,-303,-115,314,916,
7D The Bearded Dragons,980,-299,-130,323,874,
3F The Nicolas Cagers,970,-329,-115,304,830,
6F Icepuente’s Sun Devils,1000,-334,-140,301,827,
2A Guao Wee!,1000,-313,-140,276,823,
4B Skeeters Ringers,900,-271,-130,323,822,
5B Pesky’s Aphids,960,-312,-150,285,783,
6A Kershawshank Redemptio,880,-277,-125,298,776,
7A Kempin' It Real!,930,-343,-120,301,768,
6E Dongwhipped,880,-297,-120,305,768,
4E Deeger's Dogs,900,-289,-145,298,764,
3B Krukow's Fever,910,-303,-140,295,762,
8A Cameltowing, Inc.,860,-311,-100,305,754,
5D $2Bil4theselosers?,900,-286,-145,283,752,
3D Valley Bombers,870,-281,-140,300,749,
1A Pepino Monos,900,-278,-150,276,748,
7C The Strokes,820,-273,-115,309,741,
4A Full Circuits,900,-343,-135,311,733,
2C Scoots Bigelow,850,-295,-120,292,727,
3A Highlanders,840,-301,-135,311,715,
3E Bauer's Bandits,820,-282,-130,306,714,
5C Guzzlyn Suds,780,-264,-95,279,700,
4D Carrboro T-Birds,840,-294,-140,293,699,
4F Hostile Mobs of Minecr,850,-268,-145,260,697,
5F The Howards,840,-341,-100,298,697,
2D The Pathetics,820,-300,-110,286,696,
1E This League Still Blow,820,-307,-120,303,696,
2F Towers of Terror,860,-342,-135,311,694,
6B Speaking Frankly,850,-326,-125,293,692,
8E Tres Caballeros,820,-323,-125,313,685,
1D Dodgerless,860,-346,-155,321,680,
3C F' cryin' out loud!!,730,-241,-120,303,672,
7E Screaming Scoregasms,850,-310,-115,239,664,
7F The Pork Bellys,830,-309,-135,275,661,
7B Dodger Blue,790,-328,-115,314,661,
1B Rio Nuevo Grunion Runn,780,-303,-125,297,649,
2B Washington Bullets,760,-257,-145,277,635,
6D Bats in my Beltre,730,-239,-145,283,629,
1F Cruzin up ur Pujols,770,-322,-120,300,628,
6C Southside Laymen,750,-294,-140,310,626,
2E ANF 2012,720,-312,-80,296,624,
5A Sandyeggo Tripper's,690,-256,-105,291,620,
8C Moyer! The Musical,760,-324,-140,318,614,
5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur,700,-287,-85,251,579,
4C Cabbage Farmers,680,-293,-115,299,571,
1C Triple Crown,690,-278,-80,207,539,
8F Chupa mi Pena!,690,-325,-120,294,539,
8D Reno's Thinly Veiled,650,-312,-165,248,421,

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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|

Low-Rent Standings for Games thru 5-24

Here are the low-rent Overall standings for games played through 5/24.

Name,HR,K,HR,K,Total,
8B Chupacabras,980,-298,-100,303,885,
7D The Bearded Dragons,930,-294,-115,312,833,
4B Skeeters Ringers,870,-267,-115,312,800,
2A Guao Wee!,960,-303,-125,264,796,
6F Icepuente’s Sun Devils,960,-328,-135,295,792,
3F The Nicolas Cagers,910,-323,-100,292,779,
5B Pesky’s Aphids,930,-306,-140,272,756,
6A Kershawshank Redemptio,850,-270,-120,292,752,
3D Valley Bombers,850,-275,-125,289,739,
6E Dongwhipped,840,-291,-105,294,738,
7A Kempin' It Real!,890,-338,-105,290,737,
4E Deeger's Dogs,860,-281,-130,287,736,
5D $2Bil4theselosers?,870,-278,-125,265,732,
3B Krukow's Fever,870,-295,-120,277,732,
8A Cameltowing, Inc.,830,-307,-85,294,732,
1A Pepino Monos,860,-268,-140,271,723,
7C The Strokes,790,-266,-100,298,722,
4A Full Circuits,860,-338,-120,300,702,
3A Highlanders,810,-294,-120,300,696,
3E Bauer's Bandits,790,-276,-120,301,695,
5C Guzzlyn Suds,750,-253,-90,272,679,
2C Scoots Bigelow,790,-289,-105,281,677,
1E This League Still Blow,790,-303,-105,292,674,
2D The Pathetics,790,-297,-95,275,673,
4F Hostile Mobs of Minecr,820,-262,-135,247,670,
8E Tres Caballeros,800,-318,-120,307,669,
5F The Howards,800,-337,-85,287,665,
4D Carrboro T-Birds,800,-288,-135,287,664,
6B Speaking Frankly,810,-318,-105,275,662,
2F Towers of Terror,820,-338,-120,300,662,
3C F' cryin' out loud!!,700,-233,-105,292,654,
1D Dodgerless,820,-338,-150,314,646,
7E Screaming Scoregasms,820,-305,-105,234,644,
7F The Pork Bellys,800,-305,-130,269,634,
7B Dodger Blue,740,-320,-100,303,623,
1B Rio Nuevo Grunion Runn,750,-300,-120,291,621,
2B Washington Bullets,720,-249,-120,268,619,
6D Bats in my Beltre,700,-231,-125,265,609,
2E ANF 2012,690,-304,-70,291,607,
6C Southside Laymen,720,-287,-135,304,602,
5A Sandyeggo Tripper's,660,-248,-100,285,597,
1F Cruzin up ur Pujols,730,-316,-100,282,596,
8C Moyer! The Musical,730,-319,-130,307,588,
5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur,670,-278,-75,246,563,
4C Cabbage Farmers,660,-290,-100,288,558,
1C Triple Crown,670,-271,-75,201,525,
8F Chupa mi Pena!,660,-316,-105,283,522,
8D Reno's Thinly Veiled,640,-306,-165,248,417,

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Low-Rent Standings for Games thru 5-23

Here are the low-rent Overall standings for games played through 5/23.

Name,HR,K,HR,K,Total,
8B Chupacabras,960,-297,-95,296,864,
7D The Bearded Dragons,910,-292,-110,305,813,
2A Guao Wee!,960,-303,-120,257,794,
4B Skeeters Ringers,860,-266,-110,305,789,
6F Icepuente’s Sun Devils,950,-327,-135,295,783,
3F The Nicolas Cagers,880,-320,-95,285,750,
5B Pesky’s Aphids,920,-305,-140,272,747,
6A Kershawshank Redemptio,830,-268,-115,285,732,
7A Kempin' It Real!,880,-336,-100,283,727,
6E Dongwhipped,830,-290,-100,287,727,
4E Deeger's Dogs,850,-281,-125,280,724,
1A Pepino Monos,860,-267,-140,271,724,
8A Cameltowing, Inc.,820,-304,-80,287,723,
3B Krukow's Fever,860,-295,-120,277,722,
5D $2Bil4theselosers?,860,-278,-125,265,722,
3D Valley Bombers,830,-274,-120,282,718,
7C The Strokes,780,-265,-95,291,711,
4A Full Circuits,850,-335,-115,293,693,
3E Bauer's Bandits,780,-274,-115,294,685,
3A Highlanders,800,-294,-115,293,684,
1E This League Still Blow,790,-302,-100,285,673,
5C Guzzlyn Suds,740,-250,-85,265,670,
2C Scoots Bigelow,780,-288,-105,281,668,
8E Tres Caballeros,800,-317,-115,300,668,
4D Carrboro T-Birds,800,-287,-135,287,665,
4F Hostile Mobs of Minecr,810,-261,-135,247,661,
2D The Pathetics,770,-294,-95,275,656,
6B Speaking Frankly,800,-317,-100,268,651,
5F The Howards,780,-335,-85,287,647,
2F Towers of Terror,800,-336,-115,293,642,
7F The Pork Bellys,800,-304,-130,269,635,
3C F' cryin' out loud!!,680,-232,-100,285,633,
1D Dodgerless,800,-337,-145,307,625,
7E Screaming Scoregasms,800,-304,-105,234,625,
7B Dodger Blue,730,-317,-95,296,614,
1B Rio Nuevo Grunion Runn,740,-299,-120,291,612,
2B Washington Bullets,710,-249,-120,268,609,
6D Bats in my Beltre,690,-231,-125,265,599,
5A Sandyeggo Tripper's,660,-247,-100,285,598,
2E ANF 2012,680,-302,-65,284,597,
1F Cruzin up ur Pujols,710,-314,-95,275,576,
6C Southside Laymen,690,-284,-130,297,573,
8C Moyer! The Musical,710,-318,-125,300,567,
5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur,660,-277,-75,246,554,
4C Cabbage Farmers,650,-289,-100,288,549,
1C Triple Crown,670,-269,-70,194,525,
8F Chupa mi Pena!,650,-315,-100,276,511,
8D Reno's Thinly Veiled,630,-302,-160,241,409,

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Low-Rent Standings for Games thru 5-22

As mentioned yesterday, we can’t update the full website while we are traveling. But we are hoping this low-rent version of the Overall standings will tide you all over in the meantime.

Name,HR,K,HR,K,Total,
8B Chupacabras,920,-290,-95,296,831,
7D The Bearded Dragons,900,-285,-110,305,810,
4B Skeeters Ringers,830,-262,-110,305,763,
2A Guao Wee!,920,-297,-120,257,760,
6F Icepuente’s Sun Devils,920,-321,-135,295,759,
3F The Nicolas Cagers,860,-311,-95,285,739,
5B Pesky’s Aphids,890,-301,-140,272,721,
6E Dongwhipped,800,-286,-100,287,701,
6A Kershawshank Redemptio,790,-260,-115,285,700,
8A Cameltowing, Inc.,790,-299,-80,287,698,
3B Krukow's Fever,830,-291,-120,277,696,
7A Kempin' It Real!,840,-332,-100,283,691,
4E Deeger's Dogs,810,-274,-125,280,691,
5D $2Bil4theselosers?,820,-271,-125,265,689,
7C The Strokes,750,-263,-95,291,683,
4A Full Circuits,830,-328,-115,293,680,
1A Pepino Monos,810,-262,-135,267,680,
3D Valley Bombers,780,-268,-120,282,674,
3E Bauer's Bandits,760,-268,-115,294,671,
2C Scoots Bigelow,760,-282,-100,277,655,
1E This League Still Blow,760,-299,-95,281,647,
5C Guzzlyn Suds,710,-247,-80,262,645,
8E Tres Caballeros,770,-313,-115,300,642,
3A Highlanders,750,-290,-115,293,638,
4F Hostile Mobs of Minecr,780,-259,-135,247,633,
5F The Howards,760,-329,-85,287,633,
4D Carrboro T-Birds,760,-281,-135,287,631,
6B Speaking Frankly,770,-310,-100,268,628,
2D The Pathetics,740,-287,-95,267,625,
7F The Pork Bellys,780,-297,-130,269,622,
2F Towers of Terror,770,-329,-115,293,619,
3C F' cryin' out loud!!,650,-227,-95,281,609,
7B Dodger Blue,710,-311,-95,296,600,
1D Dodgerless,760,-328,-140,297,589,
7E Screaming Scoregasms,760,-297,-100,224,587,
6D Bats in my Beltre,670,-226,-125,265,584,
1B Rio Nuevo Grunion Runn,700,-292,-115,279,572,
2E ANF 2012,650,-300,-65,284,569,
5A Sandyeggo Tripper's,630,-247,-100,285,568,
2B Washington Bullets,660,-243,-115,264,566,
1F Cruzin up ur Pujols,690,-308,-95,275,562,
6C Southside Laymen,660,-277,-125,293,551,
8C Moyer! The Musical,680,-312,-125,300,543,
5E Cain I Lincecum In Ur,630,-276,-75,246,525,
4C Cabbage Farmers,620,-285,-100,288,523,
1C Triple Crown,640,-266,-65,190,499,
8F Chupa mi Pena!,620,-313,-100,276,483,
8D Reno's Thinly Veiled,610,-295,-160,241,396,

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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We're Going Dark

The Santa Lechuga Power League brain trust -- which is a really funny phrase to use when referring to this group, when you think about it -- is convening for an emergency meeting in Phoenix, AZ, for the next several days to discuss the rapid rise of Icepuente’s Sun Devils owner Alec Puente. And by “rapid rise,” we don’t mean anything nefarious like he used illegal means to take over 4th place in the Overall standings or anything like that. No, we mean, “Holy crap! Alec’s graduating high school?!?! Where did all that time go? Our little nephew is all growed up. Schmoly!” That means the SLPL website is likely going black between now and next Monday. What do we mean by likely? Well, read on…

We can’t promise anything, but we’ll try to at least post the Overall Standings on this here home page every day. (That would mean we won’t be updating any other page on the site.) Though it won’t be the full-featured site to which you have become accustomed, it’s something. Wish us luck. And if we’re not successful posting to this page, just hang loose ’til next Monday, when everything should be up and running again.

Alec, It’s No Use Crying Over Spilled Milk
Alec, It’s No Use Crying Over Spilled Milk (Click to embiggenate.)


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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Kempin's Harmon Maybe Gettin' Hitched

Kempin' It Real!’s owner Kyle Harmon, one of the league’s more active owners, is getting married this weekend in Vegas. At least we think he is. Given that Chupacabras owner Tyler Shaddy and Chupa mi Pena! owner Brandon Olivarria are supposed to be present to “witness” the event, our sense is that it’s just as likely that Kyle, Tyler, and Brandon will have a Hunter S. Thompson/Oscar Zeta Acosta-inspired weekend that involves road trips, bats, and flooded hotel rooms. Kyle’s fiancé, meanwhile, will be left to wonder why they ever agreed on Vegas as the destination location to share their vows. Or, why they ever thought to invite Tyler and Brandon to the wedding.

We here at the SLPL are hoping that doesn’t happen. Instead, we want to hear all about how beautiful the wedding was, how radiant the bride looked, how responsible and upstanding the groom was, and what a wonderful, responsible time all those in attendance had. (Which is to say: Tyler, Brandon, don’t blow this for Kyle! And send pictures!)

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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*One* Of The Best?!?

Congratulations to Kershawshank Redemption owner Joe Kelly for recently receiving the following Readers’ Choice Award from the Kane County Chronicle in St. Charles, IL. We don’t know why the readers couldn’t just commit and say “Best” instead of “One of the Best,” but we’ll just rectify the situation here by saying, definitively, that Joe Kelly is, without a doubt, no questions asked, no objections rendered, “The Single Best Lawyer, Hands Down, Who Participates in the Santa Lechuga Power League.” The certificate is in the mail.

There. Done. Next?

Joe Kelly

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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Matt Kemp on 15-Day DL!!!

He hasn’t been hitting lately, anyway, but it’s worth noting that Matt Kemp is on the 15-Day DL. That’s right, the most ubiquitous hitter on SLPL rosters is on the DL. What are you going to do about it? Sit idle for the next two weeks and lose points? Or trade the mofo? Do something!


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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If You Don't Have Josh Hamilton On Your Roster...

You have some ‘splainin’ to do.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Dragons' Bronson In First; Who The Hell Is This Guy?!

Josh Bronson (a.k.a., Grizzly MacDonald) is a rookie owner recruited by Joshua Livernois, owner of Reno's Thinly Veiled Hatred For Californians. Three days ago, his Bearded Dragons moved into 1st place in the Overall Standings. His Dragons are tied for 2nd place in the Hitting Standings and are in 10th place in the Pitching Standings. It’s an impressive little run for a rookie owner, but the biggest questions league owners are asking is: Who the hell is this guy?! So, what do we know about Josh Bronson? Who has dirt on him? What sort of rumors do you hear? More importantly, what sort of dirt or rumors can we start about this guy that will make him want take a dive and open up the top spot for one of us veteran owners? Anyone? Anyone?

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Now We Are Headlong Into the Season

The first month of the MLB season is in the books and the Santa Lechuga Power League is shaping up quite nicely, thankyouverymuch. With 87 $5 Trades and $435 added to The Pot, we have bumped the payouts for champs for Hitting, Pitching, Power-Hitting Pitchers, Playoffs, Hall-of-Fame Death Pool, and All-Star to $125, which, to be honest, is some decent coin. And now that the $10 Trade is in effect until the end of the All-Star break, we can only hope that a Matt Kemp or a Clayton Kershaw or both go down with a debilitating injury that puts them on the DL for an extended stay. A sweet injury like that, in case you’re wondering why would hope for such things, prompts owners to make trades to stay competitive, which beefs up our Pot and makes our payouts that much sweeter. So, here’s hoping.

Good luck for the next part of our season. If you submitted a $5 trade before the deadline that’s not reflected in the
trades or rosters, please let us know ASAP. We don’t want to have missed something.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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$10 Trade Now In Effect

10 buck trade

The $10 Trade is now in effect and will be until the All-Star break is over. Get used to it.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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The $5 Trade Is Nearly Gone

$5 Trade

In roughly an hour-and-a-half, the $5 Trade will be kaput; $10 Trades will then be in effect. Take a few minutes and submit your trades before today's first pitch to get the most trade value for the buck.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Trade Justifications and Other Observations - Part 3

Evan Longoria is down for 4-to-8 weeks and owners are already dropping him like a bad smoking habit. Here are owners’ justifications for our most recent trading:
  • "I'm making this trade to drop the dead weight. Stanton is playing like the team he supposedly plays for, MIA. I need the dogs to start hitting the long ball!" ~Mark Olivarria, Dodger Blue
  • "We are sending him down to our minor league affiliate, El Chicharrons in Guadalajara, Jalisco, where he shall remain until he hits HRs (or this league starts tracking put-outs). Miguel Cabrera joins the squad, and this guy knows how to party. Drinking scotch from the bottle during a DUI arrest? Bold and daring! We plan on keeping Miggy and Josh Hamilton as far apart as humanly possible." ~Nate Meyers, The Pork Bellys
  • "Because Adrian will hit 3 out after I make this trade." ~ Jack Tripp, Sandyeggo Tripper's
  • "Need someone who isn't a 22-year-old geriatric" ~Kyle Harmon, Kempin' It Real
  • "Just heard Longoria out 4-8 wks. Just missing getting those three knocks from Braun. Hope he keeps raking." ~ Brian Thornburg, Carrboro T-Birds
  • "Expected Longoria to have a break-out year, now that he is broken I don't want the trade to break my bank -- go $5 trades!!" ~ Jeff Burns, Valley Bombers
And here are a couple other observations:
  • "For some inexplicable reason that we cannot put our finger (or needles) on, Albert Pujols has seemingly lost his ability to hit home runs. Not sure what he could do to ‘inject’ more ‘juice’ into his bat, but ever since he has become an Angel his power is gone. A guy averaging an HR every 14.3 at bats now has none in 19 games? We are not saying he has changed anything to protect that new contract or his legacy, but we are implying that he might not be using PEDs anymore." ~Nate Meyers, The Pork Bellys
  • "I hate this fricking league..." ~Dan Klinkhamer, This League Still Blows
  • "I'll probably spend all my trades/cash and still end up in the basement. This league blows. Still." ~Brian Thornburg, Carrboro T-Birds
The $5 Trade ends tomorrow. Trade before the first pitch of the first game tomorrow to make sure you get the five dollar variety.

$5 Trade
Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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$5 Trade On Countdown Clock, Part 3

$5 Trade

As I type, only 2 days, 1 hour, and 45 minutes are left to make $5 Trades; then the price goes up to $10 until the end of the All-Star Break. We already have some trades trickling in. Brian Thornburg, owner of Carrboro T-Birds, threw down on four trades yesterday after having already made four trades so far this season, so he is the first owner this year to earn a free trade; he’ll be able to cash that in any time this season, including the last month of the season when trades cost $20.

BTW, just so you know, heads up, for the record, the following rostered-players are on the
Disabled List:

  • Cliff Lee
  • Jacoby Ellsbury
  • Lance Berkman
  • Ryan Howard
  • Chris Young
You know, just in case you want to shuck the dead weight from your roster between now and when the $5 Trade ends. So get to studying your roster and figuring out who you need to unload.

Yesterday's Points
Yesterday’s Points


Finally, we have recently added a new page to the website that may help you navigate the day-to-days in the league.
Yesterday’s Points shows the points earned by each team on the previous day.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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$5 Trade On Countdown Clock, Part 2

$5 Trade

With a little over 3 days and 2 hours left until the $5 Trade goes all “Adios, MFers” for the 2012 season, now is as good a time as any to talk a bit about the $5 Trade.

  • Unless you have earned a free trade, the $5 Trade is the cheapest trade you’ll make this season. Duh!, right?
  • A good $5 Trade now will net you a good five months of production out the player your trade for. Duh!, right?
  • Remember, if you make five paid trades, you get one free trade that can be used any time until the Regular Season is over. That means five $5 Trades will earn you a free $20 Trade if you use the free trade during the last month of the season.
Surely you know how you’re doing in the standings, right? Surely you know who on your roster is dragging you down. Things aren’t out of reach yet. Make some trades between now and Thursday noon EST deadline and you can right the ship right quick.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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$5 Trade On Countdown Clock

The $5 Trade ends soon. (The countdown clock is on the right.) If you have earned a free $5 Trade but do not use when the $10 Trade goes into effect, POOF!, it will be gone. I’m just saying.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Hoyt Wilhelm: Crappy Power-Hitting Pitcher

Hoyt

On this day in 1952, Giants pitcher Hoyt Wilhelm hit a triple; two days earlier he had hit a home run in his major league debut. Over the next 21 seasons -- which spanned 1,070 games and 432 official at-bats -- Wilhelm never hit another triple or homer. And wouldn’t you know it, after hitting a homer in his first at bat, I kept him on my SLPL Power-Hitting Pitchers rosters every one of those 21 years. That’s how this league is.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Trade Justifications and Other Observations - Part 2

Josh Hamilton is a popular trade pickup lately. Here are owners’ justifications for our most recent trading:
  • "Naturally, I am sure the prick (Hamilton) will get hurt or go on a bender sometime in the next week!" ~Kevin Klinkhamer, Dongwhipped
  • "Already afraid of getting buried in the standings..." ~Joe Kelly, Kershawshank Redemption
  • "Cuz I'm a F$&King idiot and didn't take Kemp from day 1." ~David Edison, Cameltowing, Inc.
  • "Sorry Cliff going for the Big Fish." ~ Kyle Harmon, Kempin' It Real!
  • "Pujols is playing like poo." ~ Kyle Harmon, Kempin' It Real!
  • "Cliff Lee is on the DL and Matt Garza might be the best pitcher on the Cubs. Which is kind of like being the tallest midget, but I need the points." David Kohanzo, ANF 2012
  • "I need more points...i am slowly falling back!" ~ Tyler Shaddy, Chupacabras
  • "We felt that swapping Texas Rangers (Beltre for Napoli) was the best move. Had Walker, Texas Ranger been available we would have considered him too. According to a rumor we may have started, Cliff Lee (15 DL) is also a Nickelback fan. Injuries and steroid use we can tolerate, but Nickelback love, even assumed (come'on, he has a soul patch), will get you waived. Good riddance." ~Nate Meyers, The Pork Bellys
And here are a couple other observations:
  • "We acquire Strasberg with baited breathe, as we expect he is once again a candidate for chronic arm detachment and will likely have to be replaced in the future. Matt Garza has been killing our pitching staff. He may be worth the $5 after tonights outing." ~Nate Meyers, The Pork Bellys
We hope these trades work out for our owners. If you want to make a trade, use this here form.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Bunny Honey Wears Lettuce Bikini

The Santa Lechuga Power League has nothing to do with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, but we fully support their annual “Dress Up A Super Model in Leafy Greens” campaign, which has something to do with promoting vegetarianism or some such. Heck, we would fully support this campaign if PETA decided to do it weekly. This year’s campaign features Bunny Honey Sheridyn Fisher. We don’t know who she is, but we suspect that that’s sort of besides the point.

Bunny Honey 1
Bunny Honey Sheridyn Fisher (click to embiggenate)


Bunny Honey 2
Bunny Honey Sheridyn Fisher (click to enlargenate)


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Trade Justifications, Trash Talk, and Other Observations - Part 1

There hasn’t been a boatload of early trading this season, but Jacoby Ellsbury’s recent injury prompted several trades yesterday. Here are some of our owners’ justifications for trading early this season:
  • “Already afraid of getting buried in the standings…” ~Joe Kelly, Kershawshank Redemption
  • “Ditching the strike out king,” ~Kyle Harmon, Kempin’ It Real
  • “Kemp is raking and CGrand won't be as good as last year.” ~Brian Thornburg, Carrboro T-Birds
  • “Ellsbury's arm is in the process of falling off, thus he has been DL’d.” ~Nate Meyers, The Pork Bellys
  • “Ellsbury hurt himself with Brian Wilson.” ~Jack Tripp, Sandyeggo Tripper's
  • “On account of I do not think Ellsbury will hit as many homers on the DL for two months.” ~DJay Andersen, Deeger’s Dogs
  • “Dunn sucks. Uggla is uggla.” ~Jody Lay, Southside Laymen
And here are some other observations or trash talking:
  • “This league, while it doesn't blow, does tend to suck occasionally.” ~Brian Thornburg, Carrboro T-Birds
  • “The Pork Bellys may consider hiring a life coach to make sure Josh Hamilton does not fall off the wagon or throw any balls to our fans in the interest of everyone's safety.” ~Nate Meyers, The Pork Bellys
  • “Go PADRES @ the Dodgers suck.” ~Jack Tripp, Sandyeggo Tripper's
We hope these trades work out for our owners. If you want to make a trade, use this here form.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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The Glacial Start to 2012

I thought I was just imagining things. But no, I was correct: The 2012 season has gotten off to a glacial start. Hitters on SLPL rosters just haven’t been hitting home runs at the pace we have seen in the past. Need proof? Look how many days it took for our SLPL Overall leader to get to 200 points last season.

2011 Past Leaders
First 11 Days of 2011 (click to embiggenate)


Seven days.
Julie Pankoke’s Bauer’s Bandits were sitting at 202 points just seven days into the season last year.

Now look at where we stand today, 11 days into the season:

2012 Past Leaders.jpg
First 11 Days of 2011 (click to enlargenate)


Eleven days in and our leader,
Jim Klinhamer’s Tres Caballeros, still hasn’t hit 200 points.

I’m not complaining. Many teams are less than six home runs away from taking over first place
within their divisions. It’s just odd that things have gotten off to a glacial start this season.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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The Santa Lechuga Expectorator: All the News Rube Spits to Print

While we here at the SLPL blog keep track of the comings and goings and newses and rumors and speculations and confirmations of the Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League In the Universe, there’s another Santa Lechuga blog that happens to be shaking up the city of Santa Lechuga with glee and gusto. It’s called The Santa Lechuga Expectorator and it is written by the city’s mayor, street sweeper, and all ‘round city ne'er-do-well, Rube Furrow, who also happens to be the SLPL’s commissioner, spinach-on-a-stick vendor, and general purpose league ne'er-do-well. Rube recently retired from dead tree media so that he could publicly blame others for his hapless mayoral administration, detail all the rancorous city infighting, and lie and speculate about citizens who did not vote for him in the last election. Check out Rube’s blog here.

385899_10150425755180881_519860880_8795194_194835112_n
Rube Furrow, About to Expectorate

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching
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We're Back

After successful talks with Bud Selig in New York City -- which involved asking Major League Baseball to help subsidize the city of Santa Lechuga’s proposed purchase of a large ladybug farm west of town to help control the growing aphid population, which is destroying large swaths of the 2012 lettuce crop -- the SLPL blog is up and running again. Standings and stats through yesterday, April 12th, are now posted.

BTW, it is true that we tried to hire Jerry Greenfield (yes, that’s his real name) to help Santa Lechuga control its aphid problem and save the lettuce crop. Unfortunately, Jerry was disgusted by the length of the city’s gardening hoses, frustrated by the city’s cheap plastic spray bottles, ticked off that the city would not pay for the more expensive dish soap, the confounded by the lack of cloudy days in Santa Lechuga.


We appreciate Bud Selig stepping in on the city’s behalf.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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We're Going Dark Until Friday

The Santa Lechuga Power League website is going dark until sometime Friday morning. The webmaster is headed to the Big Apple for some super secret talks with Bud Selig and will not have the time -- nor the inclination -- to update the website while traveling. He will, however, keep track of important league business (which is to say, he won’t delete any e-mails or trades) and will backfill everything into the website on his return. We’ll see you Friday.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Commissioner's Welcome

Commissioner Rube Furrow was thrilled to honor the invitation to kick off the Santa Lechuga Power League season by throwing the first pitch of the season at Porky Poindexter's Tacos Pronto, Nail Salon, and Baseball Stadium near Reno in Sun Valley, NV.

The Nevada road trip gave Furrow the chance to welcome SLPL newcomers
Josh Bronson of the Bearded Dragons and Ruby Livernois of The Howards. Little Miss Ruby celebrated opening day by celebrating her birthday with a skate party, followed by live music at the discotheque. Both Josh and Ruby were recruited to the league by Josh Livernois, noted rock entrepreneur and owner of Reno's Thinly Veiled Hatred for Californians.

In his season-opening address, Furrow blathered incessantly about how excited he is about the prospects for the coming season, about the high caliber of team owners SLPL attracted this year, and about how disappointed he is that he's never won a championship title. Furrow denies he stole the speech from Bud Selig.

Again, Furrow said he is very impressed with the thought and imagination that went into the naming of teams. "Moyers! The Musical" owner
Sue Klinkhamer may be mired at the bottom of the standings, but her team name is inspired. Kathy Livernois came through again this season with the "Screaming Scoregasms." And Peggy Bocox's "Bats in my Beltre" is a fun bit of wordplay. Don Fukui displayed great headline-writing skills with "$2Bil4thelosers' and you'd've had to have lived in the Imperial Valley to understand the terrific irony in Dan Edwards' "Rio Nuevo Grunnion Runners."

Speaking of inspired, Rube Furrow thanks SLPL Assistant Bottle Washer
Tony Livernois for another impressive Web design for this year's season. If you've checked out his rolling slide show, you'll see that Santa Lechuga has a place everywhere in the world.

Welcome to Santa Lechuga. If, after the first several days of the season you find yourself feeding at the bottom of the standings, please remember that it's a long season and anything can happen. If you're strutting around like a Tulowitzki right now because your team is near the top of the heap, keep in mind that you are a mere groin strain away from disaster. In the meantime, have fun with the league and don't miss Tony's daily musings on the SLPL home page.

Rube

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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SLPL Housecleaning

Before we call the 2012 season fully up and running, we have a some housecleaning items that we need to address…

First, check the
Magic Numbers. You should note that numbers 22 and 29 are not taken … and that Magic Numbers 7, 9, 14, and 30 have too many owners. For one time and one time only: The first owner with 7, 9, 14, or 30 to contact me asking for Magic Number 22 can have it. The first owner with Magic Number 7, 9, 14, or 30 to contact me asking for Magic Number 29 can have it. (As a reminder, Magic Numbers allow us to break the logjam of ties for the HOF Death Pool and the Creepy Cardinals Death Watch Pool.)

Second, FYI, you can
make trades any time during the Regular Season. The price of a trade is currently $5, but the price increases as the season progresses. Though you are limited to ten paid trades, the first five will earn you one free trade and the second five will earn you two more free trades. So, if you pay for ten trades, you’ll get three for free.

Third, while we do our best to make sure everything is accurate, we occasionally make mistakes. If you notice that we have done something wrong,
contact us and let us know so that we can fix it.

Fourth, owners have already begun
paying their ownership fees, which we always appreciate. If you haven’t yet paid, there are multiple ways to pay.

Fifth, and finally, this will be the last e-mail we send to all owners until the $5 trade is about to end (unless there’s an injury before then that we want to announce); we don’t want to clog up your In Box, ya know? To get SLPL news, see our Sunday Morning WTF?!, and just generally keep up on league nuttiness, be sure to check in daily at http://www.santa-lechuga.com/.

Good luck during the 2012 season!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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The 2012 Season Begins!

With nine bitchen new owners, a couple returning owners, a full slate of 48 teams, a kick-a** Excel spreadsheet, and a wicked tequila headache, the 2012 Santa Lechuga Power League has begun. “Who the heck are these guys? Have we done thorough background checks? Will they pass the mustard” asked Commissioner Rube Furrow when shown a list of new owners. “Everyone knows that when we go out to eat, I need my mustard. These guys better deliver.”

With the 2011 season officially closed out and the 2012 season officially kicked off, Furrow spent this morning randomly and inappropriately speculating about the new owners. “This Dan cat, he’s the real deal,” Furrow said of new owner
Dan Edwards, recruited by Pepino Monos owner Tony Livernois. “First, he names his team Rio Nuevo Grunion Runners, which is cool because everyone knows that the tastiest grunions come from the New River. And, second, the dude paid his ownership fees lightening fast. We already know that Dan’s a keeper.”

“I’m a bit wary of (Kempin' It Real! owner)
Kyle Harmon’s recruits, though,” Furrow continued. “Triple Crown owner Chris Amaral tried to submit an HOF roster that had nothing but dead Hall-of-Famers. Like we wouldn’t notice! Look, we drink a lot, sure, but we’re not so drunk that we’re not going to notice that Babe Ruth is already dead.

“And I’m not impressed by this (Chupacabras owner)
Tyler Shaddy dude, either” Furrow continued. “Being in first place on the first day of the season is a surefire way to get veteran owners to hate your guts. Lay low, buddy. Take the veterans out for a few drinks. Listen to their boring stories about how they almost won it all two years ago. Then take over first place. This was a rookie mistake.”

Rube said he was impressed by Reno's Thinly Veiled Hatred For Californians owner’s
Joshua Livernois’ recruits. “The Bearded Dragon’s owner Josh Bronson is doing it right. He’s in 12th place Overall after the first day, which is smart. And his Hall-of-Fame roster has actual, living Hall-of-Famers.”

“And The Howards owner
Ruby Livernois is just the cutest darned thing on earth,” Furrow said. “First, her name is Ruby, which sounds a lot like Rube. And second, she named her team after her kitten, Howard. Isn’t that just about the most adorable thing you have heard?”

“What’s not adorable,” Rube said, “is champ
Brandon Olivarria (owner of Chupa mi Pena!) getting all clever by encouraging his recruit Troy Thiele to name his team Cruzin up ur Pujols. Seriously, haven’t we milked the Pujols jokes for everything we can by now?”

“Now here’s an interesting team name,” Rube said of 2012 ANF owner
David Kohanzo, recruited by longtime Guzzlyn Suds owner Steve McNelly. “ANF could be the New York Stock Exchange symbol for Abercrombie & Fitch … or it could be Australian Newsagents' Federation, Angeles National Forest, Agitated Nutsche Filter, or Anti-Narcotics Force. We just don’t know. And that’s cool. Unless it stands for something heinously gross like something recommended by Brandon Olivarria.”

“I hear we better look out for this
Alec Puente (owner of Icepuente’s Sun Devils, recruited by Pesky’s Aphids owner Vince Livernois) kid. Dude’s getting ready to graduate, has a scholarship to a kick-butt university, and can outthink the entire staff in the SLPL league offices,” Rube said, not mentioning that chimpanzees could outthink the entire staff in the SLPL league offices. “Alec just may be a dark horse.”

Rube wasn’t sure to make of the rookie owner of The Nicholas Cagers owner
Brendan Butts, recruited by The Pathetics owner Ray Jasutis. “You know how some jokes write themselves? Yeah. Well. See. We’re at a loss about what to do here. This league is known worldwide for making cheap, disparaging, stupid jokes at anyone’s expense. You know? When you go to a shooting gallery, you don’t let some ducks go because they’re easy targets, right? So the biggest hurdle we’re going to have to overcome this season is to figure out how we are going to avoid making jokes about Brendan. I mean, who on earth names their team after Nicholas Cage?! Have you seen his most recent movies! Seriously!”

Finally, Rube gave a big shout out the veterans who recruited the new owners. “This looks like a great group, and we appreciate our veteran owners for recruiting them. It should be a great season!”

Meanwhile...
Owners, please check your
Hall-of-Fame rosters. Some of you selected people who are not living Hall-of-Famers and do not belong in the Death Pool. Get back to us with your roster replacements.

Also, check the
Creepy Cardinals Pitcher Death Watch Pool rosters. Some of you selected people who are not on the active roster and do not belong in the Death Watch Pool. Get back to us with your roster replacements.

And while you’re at it, check your regular rosters to make sure we entered them into our stats aggregator correctly. With 15 players each for 48 teams, we’re bound to make some mistakes. If we made some,
let us know by telling us what we got wrong.

Good luck to one and all during the 2012 season!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Dan Klinkhamer Wins 2011 SLPL HOF Death Pool! 2012 Season About to Begin

With the first pitch of last night's Cardinals/Marlins game, This League Really Blows owner Dan Klinkhamer was officially* crowned the 2011 winner of the Phil Rizzuto Memorial Hall-of-Fame Death Pool, thereby officially closing out the 2011 season. "I would like to thank Harmon Killebrew for financing my 2012 season and for giving me a little extra scratch to buy a round or two of drinks Friday night," Klinkhamer said after scraping the last $150 out of the 2011 pot. "Harmon's death, while sad and disconcerting to those who knew him, brought me great joy and will bring joy to those who are there Friday night as I toast his memory."

Dan on Killebrew Lane
Dan Klinkhamer, Visiting Killebrew Lane in Florida


*When we say "officially," we mean that as of right now we know of no other Hall-of-Famers dying before last night's first pitch. If news stories come through that someone kicked before last night’s game began, we'll have to revise our officialness status and re-award the monies.

Meanwhile, league officials are busy getting ready for the 2012 season, which officially kicks off today at 1 pm EST, when rosters are due. "What? Today? Already?" a hangover-laden Commissioner
Rube Furrow said today at his annual new season press conference. "Isn't there anyone in the league offices that can warn me a day or two beforehand that the season's about to begin?! I'm surrounded by knuckleheads."

Despite Furrow's inattention, owners have been busy submitting rosters and grabbing the final available team spots. If you haven't already done so but plan to be in the league, getchyer rosters in fast.

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Rube Invites Martha to Join the Santa Lechuga Power League

Commissioner Rube Furrow still hasn’t figured out the whole harassment laws thingy. But don’t let that stop you from joining the SLPL this season.

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A Wayward Father -- And Former Champ -- Returns

Brandon and Mark
Brandon and Mark, Father-Son Champs

Last October, when announcing Brandon Olivarria as the 2011 Overall Champ, we wrote:

Brandon won $505 for being crowned champ, but the win is even sweeter because he took the trail his father Mark Olivarria blazed in 2008 by coming from behind to win it all, thereby making Mark and Brandon the first father-son combo to have won the Overall Championship. Sadly, Mark didn't participate in the SLPL this season, but we're hoping to get him back next year so the two champs can go head-to-head.

We got our wish. Mark is once again in the league with Dodger Blue. He had this to say about his return:

Hey guys, I'm back. Watching my son win it all last season, the first thing that came to mind was something Joe (Livernois) told me my first year, "It's so easy a monkey could win this." Well Joe you were right. I am back to reclaim my spot as a top owner in The Best Damn League!!!

It always confounds us when an owner leaves, especially a past-champ, but it does make the return that much sweeter. Welcome back, Mark! Now get to kicking your son’s butt, will you? He’s getting a massive head about his win last season.

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SLPL Video: Payouts!

A video blast from the past, though still relevant (except the part about Opening Day, which this year is Thursday, April 5th, and the part about the Giants being World Champs) …

Vice President of All the Little Details
Pedregoso Rios and longtime owner Suzie Rochellle talk about the vast winnings you can scrape off the table of the Santa Lechuga Power League and discuss responsible ways to spend those vast winnings. They deftly avoid a” too soon" joke about Japan and Suzie talks about wanting to beat up Past-Champ David "Eddie" Edison for his Over-the-Line-like team name that Suzie thinks is truly over the line.

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SLPL Video: All About the Santa Lechuga Power League

Commissioner Rube Furrow and Vice President of All the Little Details Pedregoso Rios welcome potential new owners and give an overview of the Santa Lechuga Power League, the best damn fantasy baseball league in the universe (yes, we said universe). In the outtakes, which begin at 8:03, Rube talks in third person about Rube, then describes his inspiration for starting the league. We know this video is a year old, but everything relevant (except that bit about the Giants being World Champs and that part about Espy Espinosa).




Tip of the ballcap to longtime owner Kevin Klinkhamer for inspiring Pedregoso’s bad-a** hat positioning. Word up to my homey!

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Why Join?

Why join the Santa Lechuga Power League? Here are ten reasons.
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The '12 Santa Lechuga Power League Begins In A Week!

The 2012 Santa Lechuga Power League (SLPL) starts in just one week! Rosters are due before the first pitch of the big Opening Day, Thursday, April 5th. Use this form to submit your roster. If you decide to go the ol' e-mail route, make sure your roster includes:
  • Ten hitters, to hit the bombs.
  • Five pitchers, to throw the whiffs.
  • Five death-worthy Hall-of-Famers (Doug Harvey excluded) to pass away during the season.
  • One Magic Number (1 through 31), to break ties.
  • One current Cardinal pitcher, to die unexpectedly so the team can creepily parade his jersey around the dugout for the rest of the season and so Fox announcers can prattle endlessly about it like they just saw a bus hit a pedestrian five feet in front of them.
You already know how the scoring and payouts work. (If you need a reminder, go here and here.) Nothing's changed from last season 'cause, frankly, this league runs like a top. You know, before the top starts getting all wobbly and stuff.

Here are a several other things our veteran owners should remember...

We Reward Handsomely When You Recruit New Owners
We're again offering the special recruiting deal we offered the last couple seasons. Here's how it works: The first new owner you recruit will let you take $5 off your ownership fees. The second new owner you recruit will net you a free $5 trade. The third new owner will get you a free $10 trade. The fourth new owner will get you a free $15 trade. And the fifth new owner will get you a free $20 trade. Bottom line: If you recruit five new owners, the SLPL will give $5 off your ownership fees and $50 worth of free trades. So, recruit some new owners ... and tell them to cite you as their recruiter. (See here.)

We Award Free Trades When You Make Paid Trades
Like last season, you can earn free trades by making paid trades. Here's how it works:

For the first five (5) paid trades you make, you will get one (1) free trade. For the second five (5) paid trades you make, you will get two (2) more free trades. So, for the cost of ten (10) trades, you will get a total of 13.

(See here.)

We Have a Creepy Cardinals Pitcher Death Watch Pool ... and the Pool is Up to $1,000
Pedregoso Rios
and owner Sue Klinkhamer are personally ponying up $100 dollars apiece every season to be awarded to the SLPL owner who identifies the next Creepy Cardinals pitcher to die during the regular season or playoffs (for as long as the Cardinals are playing). Since this is season number five for Pedregoso & Sue's Creepy Cardinals Pitcher Death Watch Pool, the pool currently sits at $1,000. (See here.)

We Have a Hall-of-Fame Death Pool
Here's how it works:

You pick five -- count 'em, five! -- Major League Baseball Hall-of-Fame inductees who have already been formally inducted at the beginning of the 2012 season. (This means that those who were selected to be inducted in the July 2012 induction ceremony are not eligible for the 2012 SLPL season.) If HOFers on your roster die, you pick up points. The team with the most points at the end of the World Series wins the pot.

To fill out your roster, you can pick one player multiple times. So, if you really wanted Joe Morgan to die, you could put him on your HOF roster as many as five times, which means you will earn five times the points should he die in a fortunate boating accident.

The Death Pool will run from Opening Day 2012 to the first pitch of Opening Day 2013. Monies will be awarded once the champ is awarded.

(See
here.)

We Need Your Rosters by First Pitch Next Thursday
Getchyer rosters in. Getchyer new recruits recruited! And getchyer horseshoe out of the attic to bring you good luck during the season!

Pedregoso

P.S. So far, we have received rosters from
Rick Coppock, Bill Cunning, Jack Tripp, and Joe Kelly. If you submitted a roster and are not listed here, please re-submit it. We were making revisions to the form and it was not working for a period of time yesterday. Sorry about that.
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SLPL Video: How to Become An Owner

Commissioner Rube Furrow and Vice President of All the Details Pedregoso Rios talk about what you need to do to become an owner in the Santa Lechuga Power League. Okay, yeah, sure, this video is a year old, but everything’s still relevant. Well, except the Giants being World Champions. Oh, and except for the look of the website shown. But everything else is still relevant.

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Be A New SLPL Owner in Five Easy Steps

The Santa Lechuga Power League is a campy little fantasy baseball league. It’s no slick-CBS-Sportsline-type league where nobody knows anybody and everybody just wants to end up in the 51st-percentile or above. Instead, the SLPL is made up of family and friends and extended family and friends of Joe and Tony Livernois, who run the thing for their own amusement and for the amusement of said family and friends. And because Jay (as his family knows him) and Tony are simple-minded goofs, they run a simple little league. Homeruns and strikeouts. That’s all we track. Oh, and the deaths of Hall-of-Famers and Creepy Cardinals pitchers. It’s that easy.

If you’re thinking about joining, here are the basic steps you need to complete to become a new owner:
Plan on joining us in 2012, wontchya? And if you’re looking for a little light reading once the season gets started, why not catch up on the History of the SLPL or read up on the evil Bobblehead-of-Lettuce?
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SLPL Video: In A World Without Decent Fantasy Baseball...

The 2012 Santa Lechuga Power League is here to fill the world's gaping vacuum known as decent fantasy baseball. If these knuckleheads could just sober up ...

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Bobblin' For The 2012 Season

Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble! Bobble!

The Bobblehead-of-Lettuce is finally bobblin’ for the new season to begin.

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The 2012 Season Is Coming

The new season is just around the corner and the website is optimized for smart phones (if a little funky on regular browsers). This change was inspired by last year’s Overall Champ, Brandon Olivarria, owner of the Kirby Puckett's Good Eye, who recommended we have our own app. Since we don’t have our own app, we’ve chosen to make the whole website look good on smart phones (if a little funky on regular browsers). This may not be the final look for the season, but we’re trying it out for now.

New owners can read our rules here, see how we award payouts here, and read our history here. To see last season’s website, go here. For those who are fans of horror, read all about the evil Bobblehead-of-Lettuce here.

We’re really looking forward to the new season!

Pay Already!

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