Santa Lechuga Power League:

The Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League In the Universe

MLB

Submit Rosters Now

Even though we don’t have the ’13 Season website all created and ready to go -- we are still suffering the effects of our perpetual off-season bender -- you can submit your roster for the ’13 season by using this handy-dandy form. Do it between now and the first pitch on the full Opening Day, which will be Monday, April 1.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Sunday Morning WTF!?!? MC Misspellar

We got a lot of welcome feedback on our notice yesterday that Hall-of-Famer Lee MacPhail had died, including:
  • “Lee McPhail sounds like he should have been the owner of the Padres in the 1980’s. You know where I’m going with dat.” ~Vince Livernois, Pesky Aphids
  • “Hey can you shoot me an email with my fees so I can kick out a check. Gracias!” ~Brandon Olivarri, Chupa mi Pena!
  • “So how does Ruby Livernois (who hit the day right on the head with her Magic Number, unless he actually died on the 8th) or me not receive any points even though we both had Lee McPhail on our HOF Death roster twice?” ~Kevin Klinkhamer, Dongwhipped
Vince, as followers of the Pads in the ’80’s, we do know where you’re going with dat. Unfortunately.

Brandon, we
love!, love!, love! that you want to pay your fees. And we hope all your fellow owners who have not paid will take the time to do so ASAP so that we can pay our season champs.

And, finally, Kevin, besides the snotty tone (
we hold the trademark on snotty tones, dontchyaknow), we really do appreciate you calling to our attention to the fact that we missed a whole bunch of folks who had Lee MacPhail on their Death Pool rosters. Turns out we searched our rosters on the misspelled name “McPhail” and not “MacPhail,” generated a way-too-short list of teams who spelled the name as incorrectly as we did, and only gave those teams points. Talk about phail! (There’s a reason I’m the league’s Vice President of All the Little Detals.) We have now fixed the problem (we think) and correctly allocated the points to all the teams (we think). The Howards owner Ruby Livernois now leads Hall-of-Fame Death Pool Standings with 200 points.

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, us?! We can’t be more thorough before awarding HOF points?!?! We mean, seriously, WTF?!?!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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The Season *Never* Ends; Lee McPhail Face-Plants the Meringue

Just when you thought you could tie a ribbon around the season and go home for the winter, along comes a good, old-fashioned Hall-of-Fame death. Yep, the passing of Lee MacPhail, the oldest previously-living Hall-of-Famer, reminds all Santa Lechuga Power League owners that the sun never goes down on a SLPL season as long as there’s a chance that one of the old timers have a chance of taking the eternal dirt nap. Ever since the league extended the Hall-of-Fame Death Pool to last from the first pitch of one season to the first pitch of the next season -- and why not since HOFers never seem to want to die while a season’s in progress -- we have guaranteed that no Hall-of-Famer will ever have to die without someone in our league scoring points for it.

Beneficiaries of Lee McPhail’s timely demise include Washington Bullets owner
Jim Cummings and Moyer! The Musical owner Sue Klinkhamer, who both reserved two spots of their five spot HOF rosters for McPhail and who both now lead the HOF Death Pool standings with 100 points. Highlanders owner Rick Coppock only had McPhail once on his roster but scored extra points for having the closest Magic Number to the date of death, giving him 75 HOF points. Scoring 50 points apiece for the cadaverous McPhail were Pepino Monos owner Tony Livernois, Cameltowing, Inc. owner Dave Edison, and Chupacabras owner Tyler Shaddy.

If you didn’t score points for McPhail’s death, don’t fret. There are still plenty of Hall-of-Famers still breathing and incalculable number of ways they can still they can still face-plants the meringue before the first pitch of the ’13 season. Know hope!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Quiet Dark Horse Kyle Harmon Crowned 2012 SLPL Overall Champ!!!

MLB World Series 2

Sophomore league owner Kyle Harmon of Kempin' It Real! was crowned the 2012 SLPL Overall Champion Sunday night after the San Francisco Giants finished their four-game sweep of the pitiful, anemic Detroit Tigers. "Who would have believed that Max Scherzer would have made the difference for me," Kyle said. "I was down, down, down during the Regular Season and all through the Playoffs ... I just couldn't punch through and take over first place from Strokes owner Aaron Pankoke until the very last moment. Because of Max Freakin' Scherzer. Unreal." Kyle traded for Scherzer on the last day of trading.

In addition to being crowned Overall Champ, with his win Kyle collects a cool five hundred clams from
The Pot.

Meanwhile, Deeger Dogs owner
D.Jay Andersen was crowned the Playoffs Champ after making six trades at the trade deadline and beating Kershawshank Redemption owner Joe Kelly by 41 points. For the win, D.Jay pulled $150 out of The Pot.

Here are all the official champs and final payouts for the 2012 season:

2012 Champs
End-of-Season Champs
Overall Champ: Kempin' It Real!, Kyle Harmon
Playoff Champ: Deeger's Dogs,
D.Jay Andersen

2012 Regular Season Champs
Regular Season Champ: The Strokes, Aaron Pankoke
Hitting Champ: Hostile Mobs of Minecraft,
Weston Livernois
Pitching Champ: Kershawshank Redemption,
Joe Kelly
Power-Hitting Pitchers Champ: Cain I Lincecum In Ur Posey,
Dave Adrian
All-Star Champ: Icepuente’s Sun Devils,
Alec Puente
Arugula Division Champ: Pepino Monos,
Tony Livernois
Cripshead Division Champ: Scoots Bigelow,
Scott Allen
Endive Division Champ: The Nicolas Cagers,
Brendan Butts
Frisee Division Champ: Hostile Mobs of Minecraft,
Weston Livernois
Radicchio Division Champ: Pesky’s Aphids,
Vince Livernois
Romaine Division Champ: Icepuente’s Sun Devils,
Alec Puente
Spinach Division Champ: The Strokes,
Aaron Pankoke
Swiss Chard Division Champ: Chupacabras,
Tyler Shaddy

2012 Payouts
$500 -
Kyle Harmon, Kempin' It Real! - Overall Champ
$500 -
Aaron Pankoke, The Strokes - Regular Season Champ

$275 -
Alec Puente, Icepuente’s Sun Devils - All-Star Champ + Romaine Division Champ
$275 -
Weston Livernois, Hostile Mobs of Minecraft - Hitting Champ + Frisee Division Champ

$150 -
D.Jay Andersen, Deeger's Dogs - Playoff Champ
$150 -
Joe Kelly, Kershawshank Redemption - Pitching Champ
$150 -
Dave Adrian, Cain I Lincecum In Ur Posey - Power-Hitting Pitchers Champ:

$125 -
Tony Livernois, Pepino Monos - Arugula Division Champ
$125 -
Scott Allen , Scoots Bigelow - Cripshead Division Champ
$125 -
Brendan Butts, The Nicolas Cagers - Endive Division Champ
$125 -
Vince Livernois, Pesky’s Aphids - Radicchio Division Champ
$125 -
Josh Bronson, The Bearded Dragons - Spinach Division Runner-Up (a.k.a., next most deserving Regular Season team)
$125 -
Tyler Shaddy, Chupacabras - Swiss Chard Division Champ

Don't forget, there's still one payout to be made for the 2012 season. If you'll scratch your synapses, the league decided at the beginning of last season to extend our
Hall-of-Fame Death Pool for each season until the beginning of the next season. This means that we will start next season by handing out a check to our final 2012 winner. No one currently leads 'cause no HOFers have expired this season, but we're hoping to catch a few quality HOF deaths between now and the beginning of next season.

Congrats to Kyle Harmon and his Kempin' It Real! and congrats to all our 2012 champs and money winners. And thanks to all of you for joining us for a most-excellent season! We look forward to seeing you all next year.

Pedregoso

P.S. If you haven't paid your ownership and trade fees, get on it already! We need to cut some championship checks! (Check Who Owes What to see what you owe. And if you've already paid and we haven't noted it, please let us know.) Send your check to:

Joe Livernois
459 Echo Valley Road
Salinas, CA 93907

If it's more convenient, you can pay your derelict debt using PayPal.

P.P.S. IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL WINNERS: Please respond with your preferred snail mail address so Rube can send your check.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Sunday Morning WTF!?!? Tigers Swinging Toothpicks

MLB World Series 2

For the record, we’re not ready to call the season quits. Sure, the Detroit Tigers appear to be ready, but we’re not. Sure, The Stroke owner Aaron Pankoke wants the season to end ASAP so he can add an Overall Championship to his Regular Season Championship, but we’re not ready. Look, we like long World Serieseses, not this four-games-and-out crap. Despite how anemic the Tigers look, we really want them to step it up and win a few games already. But if they don’t, tonight the MLB will be crowning a new World Series Champ … and we’ll be crowning a new SLPL Overall Champ.

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Detroit Foxtrottin’ Tigers?! You left your bats in the Championship Series?!?! I mean, seriously, WTF?!?!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Tigers Still Down By Two Games

MLB World Series 2

With a merciful day off, Friday the Detroit Tigers are still down by just two games in the World Series to the San Francisco Giants, who have had the Midas touch ever since going down 1-3 to the St. Louis Cardinals. Seriously, is there anything the Giants can’t do at this point?

Meanwhile, in the SLPL, The Strokes owner
Aaron Pankoke is just six points ahead in the Overall standings, though he has had that lead for a few days and he doesn’t look as though he wants to give it up easily. D.Jay Andersen’s Deeger’s Dogs are in 1st place in the Playoff standings, though Joe Kelly’s Kershawshank Redemption are hoping to retake the top spot before the Fall Classic ends.

Speaking of which:

Dear Detroit Tigers,

We can’t call it a fall “classic” unless you take it to at least six games.

Hugs and kisses, Pedregoso Rios

Official Arbiter of What We Call Things


Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Game 2 A Snooze Generator

MLB World Series 2

Maybe this would all be more fun if the last, few SLPL players still playing in the World Series would score some points now and again. Triple Crown Miguel, anything? NL MVP Posey, you? Someone? Anyone? C’mon, let’s shake things up a bit.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Game 1 In The Books

MLB World Series 2

Game 1 is in the books and Brother Joe Livernois holds the advantage over Brother Vince Livernois as Verlander choked on the pipe while Tim McCarver spends twice the number of innings praising Verlander than Verlander actually pitched while barely mentioning Zito until Zito was removed from the game but appeared to be on the line to actually win the game. Sometime I love the Fall Classic and other times I want to throw the television out my hotel window. The issue this year? There’s another TV in the other room -- hey, it’s an Embassy Suites! -- which means I’d get stuck watching ’til the end of the game anyway, so what’s the point?

Meanwhile in SLPL action,
D.Jay Andersen’s Deeger’s Dogs have taken over 1st place in the Playoff Standings.

I like it too much.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Let The Fun Begin

MLB World Series 2

The World Series begins.

I like it too much.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Giants Win Game 7; Livernois Family War Begins

MLB Postseason

The San Francisco Giants beat the St. Louis Cardinals last night in Game 7 of the National League Championship Series, setting up a monstrous showdown between brothers and SLPL owners Joe Livernois and Vince Livernois. Jay is a lifelong Giants fan and Vince is a lifelong Detroit Tigers fan. Because Jay has been alive longer, he has the slight edge to win, though that does not factor in Jim Leyland’s age.

Meanwhile, in the SLPL,
Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes retain the Overall lead by just six points while Kershawshank Redemption’s Joe Kelly are ahead in the Playoffs standings. There are just four hittings and five pitchers left to play the World Series, which means that Fox Sports will have to dedicate at least 97 percent of its late-inning World Series coverage to Brian Wilson's antics in the Giants dugout, up from a mere 90 percent during the Championship Series.

I like it too much.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Giants Force Game 7

MLB Postseason

Game 7. That is all.

I like it way too Foxtrottin’ much.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Sunday Morning WTF!?!? Stupid Sign

MLB Postseason

While we wait to see if the San Francisco Giants can find their way to get to the World Series, today it’s time to celebrate the simple wonders of the world. Like this:

BkNEj

You wonder what the sign ever did to this guy. I mean, the sign is just standing there, all sign-like, on the side of the brick street, not bothering anyone, maybe hoping to quietly pass along a nice message about keeping your lawn green or something, maybe inviting total strangers in for a nice cup of coffee or something, maybe announcing an upcoming children’s concert or something, who knows. The sign, it just sits there quietly. But this guy. This guy has it out for the sign. He’s not happy with the sign. He’s offended by the sign. He’s pissed by the sign. So he goes and decides to kick the sign, just to show it who’s boss. So this poor, helpless inanimate sign, incapable of defending itself, does the one last thing it can do to show defiance before it’s rendered useless, before it becomes a fallen hero, fallen from where it stood, by tripping the guy and making him look like the complete and total idiot he’s likely always been. Tomorrow, the sign will stand up straight, intact, and announce to the world that the idiot who knocked him down can be seen being an idiot on the Internet for all of time, a truly stunning payback for the abuse that was inflicted upon the sign.

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, sign-hating dude? You couldn’t just let well enough alone? Seriously, WTF?!?!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Giants Make Things More Interesting

MLB Postseason

The San Francisco Giants, on the unexpected brilliance of Barry Zito, made things a bit more interesting in the National League Championship Series last night by winning Game 5. Now they’re down two games to three.

I like it too much.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Giants Down 1-3; Tigers Headed to World Series

MLB Postseason

Damn. The San Francisco Giants are down three games to one in the National League Championship Series.

I don’t like it very Foxtrottin’ much.

The Detroit Tigers are headed to the World Series. Awesome.

I like it very Foxtrottin’ much.

Meanwhile, in the SLPL Kempin' It Real! owner
Kyle Harmon has moved within six points of the Overall lead while Kershawshank Redemption owner Joe Kelly is up just 44 points over Deeger's Dogs owner D.Jay Andersen in the Playoffs standings.

I like that very Foxtrottin’ much, too.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Giants Are Down 1-2

MLB Postseason

Wait. What? The San Francisco Giants are down two games to one in the National League Championship Series?

I don’t like it very Foxtrottin’ much.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Yankees Are Down 0-3

MLB Postseason

Wait. What? The New York Yankees are down three games in the American League Championship Series?

I like it way too Foxtrottin’ much!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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War Of Attrition

MLB Postseason

The war of attrition is on. With so few hitters and pitchers in the playoffs, it appears that the team that bleeds the fewest points while getting the occasional hitter home run is the team that will win the Playoffs and, possibly, the Overall standings.

By way of demonstration, while everyone else in the league can’t staunch the point bleeding, Kershawshank Redemption
Joe Kelley has jumped to a big lead in the Playoffs and is making moves in the Overall standings. Joe was 267 points back and in 12th place Overall when the Regular Season ended. He is now in 6th place and 165 points behind Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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After The Division Serieseses...

MLB Postseason

With the completely full-slate of Division Serieseses complete, Aaron Pankoke’s The Strokes still maintain the Overall lead while D.Jay Andersen’s Deeger's Dogs are ahead in the Playoffs standings. This will be an interesting final two rounds of playoffs given that only ten hitters and eight pitchers remain on playoff rosters.

Remember, points go up again for the League Championship Series to:
. Hitters earn 50 points for every home run hit
. Hitters lose 5 points for every K
. Pitchers earn 5 points for every K
. Pitchers lose 25 points for every homer surrendered

With three remaining hitters and two remaining pitchers, can Aaron maintain his Overall lead? With five hitters and three pitchers in the League Championship Series, can DJay overtake him or even retain his own Playoffs lead? Will some dark horse make a dark horse move and overtake both Aaron ad DJay. Strap ‘er in. We’re in for a fun ride.

I like it too much!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Game Fives

MLB Postseason

How many games of the Divisional Series are going to Game 5?

I like it too much!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Tigers and Red Fans Aren't Liking It Too Much

MLB Postseason

Tigers and Reds fans aren’t going to like this too much but I’m going to say it anyway: I love playoff baseball! C’mon, two five game series in one postseason?!?! It almost makes the impending dreaded Fox Sports coverage bearable ahead of time.

I like it too much!

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Bay Area Teams Live To See Another Day

MLB Postseason

They aren’t scoring a lot of runs or making the game look very easy, but the Giants and A’s both found ways to win last night, which means their series will go at least one more game apiece.

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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The "Wild" In Wild Card; Klinkhamer Not Wild About Blown Call

wildcard_zps0685c6cb

I umpired a game in college where I had to call the infield fly rule. The ball was, like, 15 feet behind first base and easily catchable. I called it correctly, but the players went berserk. They were screaming, trying to tell me that the ball had to be in the infield, which is clearly wrong. I gave the ol’ “ordinary effort” line, told them to refer to their rule books when they got home, and predicted that they would apologize to me the next time I umpired one of their games. Oddly, and I never expected that would, they did apologize. I considered it a very small victory.

There are no victories to be had after a call like this:



Technically, I suppose the umpire was right here -- it didn’t take extraordinary effort to get to the ball --
but damn, it sure does seem to violate the spirit of the rule, which is to prevent teams from purposely dropping the ball in order to generate an easy double play. That wasn’t going to happen here, so the umpire’s call was just over-managing the game. Unfortunate.

Speaking of Unfortunate…
We made our own unfortunate call when we announced the Regular Season champs. It turns out we declared Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer the champ of the Power-Hitting Pitchers standings. We didn’t hear boo about it until yesterday, when Cain I Lincecum In Ur Posey owner Dave Adrian asked for a recount. It appears that during the Regular Season we missed two home runs from Madison Bumgarner and one from Zack Greinke, which meant that we missed a lot of points that should have been used to generate the Power-Hitting Pitchers standings. After checking into Dave’s claim, we realized he was right and that he should have been crowned the Power-Hitting Pitchers champ. We have now made this correction, Kevin has been dethroned, and Dave is now the official champ. For now. Who knows, there may be a few more unknown pitchers home runs that we haven't discovered yet; if those surface, we’ll do another recalculation to see how it works out.

All of this nonsense does point to a need in future seasons: This is one of those stats we have to track manually. Since we obviously don’t catch ‘em all -- who has time to pay attention to such things when there’s tequila to be drunk -- we need to recruit our owners to tells us anytime they hear that a pitcher hits a home run so that we track it better than we did this season.

In Other News...
Our spreadsheet has been updated and Playoff standings and stats are now posted online. Besides the Playoffs standings, we have Overall Standings, Hitting Stats, and Pitching Stats. We are also updating team stats, so take a look at your playoff roster to make sure we got everything right. Stats for the entire playoffs are recorded manually in this league, so do us a favor and let us know ASAP if we got something wrong. Please don’t wait until after we crown the champs to let us know if we missed something, okay?

Playoffs Standings: Overall . Playoffs . HOF . Hitting Stats . Pitching Stats . Team Stats . Past Leaders
Final Regular Season Standings:
At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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"Kept It Alive Like He Was Playing Hackey Sack With His Glove"

More from Commissioner Rube Furrow’s Facebook page. Rube notes: “More proof that the Baseball Gods hate the Astros.”


“Oh, Oh, My!”

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Dodgers & LAnkees, Playing Scared

This observation comes via Commissioner Rube Furrow’s Facebook page.

Purchasing Pennants
Dodgers & LAnkees, Playing Scared
(Click to embiggenate.)

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Power-Hitting Pitchers Hit

Tips of the ballcap are due to Kershawshank Redemption owner Joe Kelley and Carrboro T-Birds owner Brian Thornburg for notifying us that Gio Gonzalez hit a dong on Wednesday, which mixes up our Power-Hitting Pitchers standings a bit. Further props to Joe for doing some research and discovering that Stephen Strasburg went long back in May, which adds even more points to the mix. Check out how points are awarded to Power-Hitting Pitchers here.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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What If? No, Seriously. What If?

Tip of the ballcap to Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer for locating all the gaping flesh wounds on my body and pouring lemon juice into each crevice. Kevin’s favorite line: “What if our city's all-time favorite Indians memory actually happened, and wasn't from an 80's movie starring Tom Berenger?” My favorite line: “Get bent, Kevin.”



(Can’t believe I didn’t find this myself. Thanks, Kevin!)

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Bud Selig Pinky-Swears He’ll Retire When His Contract Ends In 2014

By Kevin Klinkhamer
Sure Bud, every MLB fan believes that you will actually retire when your contract ends in 2014. Hopefully it will all be a moot point anyway and you experience an unfortunate (but not for SLPL) death before then. Die, Bud Selig, die!!! That is all.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Missed It By That Much

This was my seat for what should have been a no-hitter last night:

First Row, Above the Ivy

Kershawshank Redemption owner Joe Kelley, meanwhile, was also in attendance:

Joe Kelley for One Hitter-Photo courtesy Kelly Parkhill Cameron
Photo courtesy Kelly Parkhill Cameron


I trust he as as bummed as I was that the Cubs scraped up that hit.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen

Used to be when Alex Rodriguez went on the Disabled List, SLPL owners would flock to trade the bastard. Today when A-Rod goes on the DL, no one blinks.


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
Pay Already! . Make A Trade . Contact Us

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Sunday Morning FFS!!! Finally, Power-Hitting Pitchers

It took long enough, but we finally have a couple Power-Hitting Pitchers. Yesterday, Matt Cain went long off Cole Hamels, who then went long off Matt Cain. From what we can tell, these are the first home runs hit this season by pitchers on SLPL rosters, which means that these are the first points awarded in the Power-Hitting Pitchers standings. (If someone has any information about home runs hit by pitchers on SLPL rosters before yesterday, please let us know ASAP so we can award the points.) Foxtrot! Foxtrot! Sierra! Santa Lechuga pitchers, get off the schnied, already! We need more Power-Hitting Pitchers!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Skeeter Living The Life

Jeren “Skeeter” Livernois’ Skeeter’s Ringers are having a decent SLPL season. They’re in 12th place Overall and are just 38 points behind the lead in the Frisee Division. With a few deft moves, his Ringers could do some real damage in the league.

Off the field IRL -- or, rather, in the press box -- Skeeter is tearing it up for
STATS, The Global Leader in Sports Information, Technology and Content as one of their official statisticians for A’s and Giants games. Check this out:

Jay's Tweet on Skeeter

Meanwhile, Skeeter’s mug was recently featured in an article for the San Francisco Chronicle about official scorekeepers. He’s the one on the left:

SF Gate Article

The article makes it sound as though it’s a thankless job, but I doubt that getting paid to sit in the press box, with that view, to watch baseball games keeps Skeeter up at nights lamenting his being under-appreciated.

Congrats, Jeren, on the killer gig!

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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You Know What, Hall-of-Fame Veteran Committee? Get Bent!

I didn’t grow up a Chicago Cubs fan. In fact, I hated ‘em ‘cause they the audacity to take up one of 12 available channels while I was growing up in California. Even when I moved to Illinois I couldn’t forgive them for blocking out Gilligan’s Island reruns all those years earlier, so I followed the White Sox instead. Then the Sox ended up in the same division as my Cleveland Indians and I decided to change my Chicago allegiances to the Cubs. So I can’t claim to be a Cubs fan in any way, shape, or form, but I do root for them to do better than the White Sox every season if for no other reason than to shame my Indians’ rival. It hasn’t worked out too well for me over the years, but, hey … that’s baseball.

So, with all of that as a preface ….

Ron_Santo_1961

Regardless of how you feel about the Cubs, please join me this weekend when I --mustering all the spite I can work up -- curse the members of baseball’s Hall-of-Fame Veteran’s Committee with a healthy: “GET BENT, YOU MISERABLE, USELESS ASSHATS!”


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Big Papi On DL

As if the Joeys weren’t enough, now David “Big Papi” Ortiz has gone on the disabled list. Use this form trade the ol’ boy.


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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Joey Bats, Votto Are On DL

Jose “Joey Bats” Bautista has been placed on the 15-Day Disabled List and Joey Votto recently had knee surgery, which are both bad news for those of us who were hoping that there would be no injuries to SLPL superstars after the All-Star break. Use this form trade the ol’ boys.


Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . All-Star Standings & Stats . Yesterday’s Points
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All-Star Reminder

2012_mlb_all_star_game

The 83rd MLB All-Star Game is just a week away, which means SLPL owners have a little longer than that to make final $10 trades. The $15 trade goes into effect with the first pitch of the first game after the All-Star game, which is on July 13th. Size up your roster, identify the dead weight, and pick up some shiny new players. You can check out rules for SLPL’s All-Star Standings here.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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All-Star Game 20 Days Away; $10 Trade Dies Soon Thereafter

2012_mlb_all_star_game

We are less than three weeks away from the 83rd MLB All-Star Game, which will take place on July 10th. This means that SLPL owners have a little more than three weeks to make $10 trades; $15 trades begin with the first pitch of the first game after the All-Star game, which will be on July 13th. Between now and then, you might make it a point to size up your roster against the rest of the league, figure out what dead weight you need to ditch, and pick up some new players.

BTW, if you’re unfamiliar, you should check out the rules for the
SLPL’s All-Star Standings. It’s a special little side-bet feature of our league that factors in the Home Run Derby winner and the game itself to award the first SLPL champ of the season.

Standings: At-A-Glance . Overall . Division . Hitting . Pitching . Yesterday’s Points
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