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Owners Comments

Epic Rant Is Epic

We here at the front offices of the Santa Lechuga Power League can go through an entire season without hearing a peep from our owners about how the league runs, what we might do to improve, what's top-of-mind about the league, what folks hate about the league, just how much folks hate us, etc. Heck, we have gone multiple seasons in a row without any commentary being shared with us, which is fine by us 'cause, you know, our egos are impenetrable and we wouldn't listen to what you're saying anyway. "Waaa. Waaa. Waaa. Is Charlie Brown's teacher talking or something?"

But then, last night happens, in what we imagine is the after-effect of many shots of some choice libations. This rant happens:
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Boy, howdy, that's so awesome. With all the earmarks of the Unabomber stumbling upon three cases of lost Scotch in a cabin with spotty Wifi connection that he is somehow compelled to use, this is a rant so excellent that we can honestly say that it reinvigorates our desire to have owners share their honest if unhinged thoughts about us with us more often. This is pure beauty. But, please, other owners, before you rant, use this template: Alcohol + Observations about League + Random Slams of Fellow Owners + Send Button. Anything less than that will fall very flat and not tickle us nearly as much.

While we will not disclose who shared this rant with us — we'll just say he wears jorts to dance around his moped every Mother's Day — we will say it is fun to see one of our owners rip this fantasy league apart while indiscriminately throwing other owners (well, just one other owner, to be fair) under the bus. Thanks, dancing jorts momma's boy, we needed that.

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A Different Tactic

Buster Poser owner Joe Livernois replaced four-tenths of his hitting roster yesterday and said:

I've had it with these brain-dead sluggers. Let's give finesse, average and power a chance.

Finesse and average … in a power league … hmmm … well, this will be interesting. Tell us how that works out for you.

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We Are Back

We came back to a wave of trades from owners trying to drop players who have recently landed on the DL. Maddog's Maulers owner Mike Skoien commented:

Players are dropping like flies this year! May not have a full roster by All Star Break! I blame climate change, Russian hackers and/or George Bush, plus the false news in the media!

No one is feeling the pain more than Deeger's Dogs owner DJay Andersen, who traded for Freddie Freeman one day before Freeman was put on the DL. DJay promptly used his final paid trade to drop Freeman. It's been that type of season already.

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Maddog Mauler's owner Mike Skoien mentioned this story in a trade comment — Former Twins catcher Brian Harper whiffed less in two years than Cubs and Yankees did on Sunday — and said:

This is a few days old, but found it interesting after the recent Yankee-Cubs "K-fest". Would be interesting to look at this for other major league teams as well.

If someone does the legwork on this, please forward it along.

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Another Ruinous Existence Shared

Mar-a-Lago Orange Sox owner Joe Kelly ruined my day today by sharing this. I guess I have to ruin your day, too, since others appear to want to bring Hawk Harrelson's ruinous existence to other countries and sports.

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You Call It Rambling ... We Call It Entertaining and Insightful

For today's Sunday Morning WTF?!, we get a peak into the mind of second-year owner Ray Brennan of The Mighty Trepidators, who only yesterday submitted his first-ever trade, which may be an indication that he's paying attention this year. Here, let's have a peak, shall we?

Dear PR (Pedregoso Pos): Hunch time…. I want to switch out Adam Jones and replace him with Giancarlo Stanton with my virgin trade as team owner.

I know I’m carrying some slow starters in my HR crowd, but will stick with the rest for now, including my sentimental choice, Jose Abreu, who got his first two today as the AL Central first place White Sox won their 6th in a row. I’m regretting Schwarber, but am not ready to ditch him yet, as the Cubs hit better when the ivy is fully in leaf.

It’s tempting to go after Judge or Thames but I’m betting the former will cool off very soon and the latter will be suspended for drug use. I missed dumping Miguel Cabrera when he went on the DL, but the Sox-Tigers may be rained out tomorrow and MC is due back Tuesday and that would mean he’d miss just one more game, so I’ll save the trade. Then he’ll need to pick up his pace. It was a risk to pick Encarnacion given how awful the Tribe usually does in the free agent market, but he’s coming to life.

Being a negligent owner, I thought I had picked Bumgarner but I guess I don’t need to trade a pitcher who’s not even on my team. Too bad about his injury, though.

Thanks for enduring my rambling, but please register my trade. Gracias, Imperial Leader!

What we just witnessed was the best trade submission this season. Hell, maybe of any season.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Ray Brennan, where they hell have you been? You couldn't submit your "ramblings," which we call astute, entertaining analysis, once a week or so? Seriously? W?! T?! F?!

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Raiding Comments in Owner Trades

Madison Bumgarner goes on the DL and Mar-a-Lago Orange Sox owner Joe Kelly says, "Surprised they didn't say he was washing Jeff Kent's truck…" Heh.

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