Top Ten, er, Nine Reasons to Join SLPL+
Why join our league? You mean, besides our long and storied history? Here just
1. Because It’s the Easiest Fantasy League You’ll Ever Join
You pick an MLB team, two hitters, and two pitchers, we track wins, home runs, and strikeouts, then we award the champs. It’s that easy. From our league’s history: “…the league made it easy for lazy owners to sit back and do nothing for an entire season, a comfort enjoyed by many actual Major League Baseball owners.”
2. Because We Have Our Own Bobblehead
Seriously, who doesn’t like a bobblehead? Ours is the Bobblehead-of-Lettuce, which unfortunately wreaked havoc back in 2001. But it is a bobblehead. And it was inspired by favorite '70’s Indians star outfielder Oscar Gamble. The likeness, I’m sure you will agree, is uncanny.
3. Because We Have a Hall-of-Fame Death Pool
Their major contributions to the world already behind them, baseball Hall-of-Famers will never get the glory they received on the day they were inducted into the Hall-of-Fame until their funerals. We honor living HOFers by putting them into a Death Pool and hoping they will soon receive that final glorious moment in the sun … before they are buried or cremated.
SORRY. NOT IN 2020. WE JUST CAN'T BRING OURSELVES TO DO IT.
4. Because Everyone Needs a Distraction
Creativity experts have found that to be productive and creative amidst all your hard work everyone needs a good distraction. Five to ten minutes a day on the SLPL website to check the standings and
5. Because $25 Will Get You a Season’s Worth of Entertainment
For less than the cost of two tickets to an actual MLB baseball game you can get
6. Because You Won’t Get Lost In the Crowd
Join one of those professional fantasy leagues on CBS Sportsline or ESPN or the like and you’ll get lost in the crowd. Here, we’ve got, what, maybe 24, maybe 48 teams. That’s it. And here, everyone in the league knows someone else in the league, which means that you’re not just playing anonymous fantasy lotto … you’re playing with friends and/or family that are as dopey as you.
7. Because A Lot of, er, Some People Win A Lot of Money
We doled out ten payouts last season with the smallest payout being $125. Every single dollar of the $2,950 we collected through ownership fees and trade fees was paid back to the champs. Because that’s how we do things around here. And while we are only handing out cash-monies to four teams this season, it will all be spendable when it's sitting in your bank account, so we expect you won't sneeze at it.
8. Because We Have Our Own Blog
Okay, so it's not a very good blog, and it oftentimes goes off in wild directions that have nothing to do with baseball, the league, sports, or anything to do with this planet, but it’s wacky and fun and stupid and dopey and unpredictable and insipid and offensive and defensive and vague and loving. Best of all, it sometimes features the “Sunday Morning WTF?!,” which highlights the single most WTF?! thing we came across the previous week or so. Only on the SLPL blog.
9. Because Hitler Hates Us
And with good reason. Interestingly, though, at the end of his rant he offers good advice for being a good owner.
10. Because Reasons 1 through 9 Should Be Enough
Any one of the previous nine reasons should be enough to convince you to join, but combined -- and this is Reason #10 -- it’s a complete no-brainer.
Come join the Santa Lechuga Power League, the Best Fantasy Baseball League In the Universe (Because We Said It Is)! Getchyer roster in today.