SLPL '19 Home

New Normal?

Good question.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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How My Season Began vs. Now

Like this:


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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That's Sierraload, Good Sir

Tip of the ballcap to Maddog's Maulers owner Mike Skoien for sending us this link (which may be behind a paywall) and saying "Article from Friday's Washington Post has important information for SLPL owners: 1) MLB players are hitting a ****load of homers at a record pace, 2) Do not own a pitcher from the Baltimore Orioles, and of course 3) The ball is "juiced," or, according to this article it has a lower drag coefficient making it fly farther ... duh!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Astley Physics

Well done.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Drunks and a Sniper

This is funnier than it has any right to be.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Delightfully Peeved

Ochre Stockings owner Ray Brennan recently traded for Yan Moncada of the White Sox while dropping Daniel Palka of the said same Sox. Ray's commentary, which is always delightfully peeved: "Here's my latest crafty adjustment to my Ochre Stockings roster, AKA Total Current and Future Entire Major League Perpetually Disabled or Grossly Underachieving List. Moncada's another sentimental choice from my favorite team. I hope he's better than my last sentimental choice, Palka, who went 0-for-32 and had 0 (ZERO) homers, tho he may get a few now that he's back in Triple A. Oh yeah, he's my second trade in this go-round, Salud!"

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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My Season Thus Far, Part 3 (NSFW)

Depicts, with precision, how my season began. Not safe for work.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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One of These Guys?

Tip of the Ballcap to Maddog's Maulers owner Mike Skoien, who sent us this link and asked the question, "Nearing the end of first month of baseball and you have to ask should I add one of these guys to replace that slow starting All Star? (e.g. Chris Sale)."

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Working Those Quads, Take 2

Three-fourths of our population should be paralyzed, Exhibit #2.6 billion and one, courtesy of Hold My Beer:


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Working Those Quads

You follow Darwin Award long enough and you begin to think that, like, three-fourths of our population should be paralyzed. Exhibit #2.6 billion:


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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And for My Next Wish ...

… I wish Curt Schilling would choke on his bloody sock.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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My Season Thus Far, Part 2

Yep. About like that.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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At Least Jose Hit A Dinger for Him Last Night

Maddog's Mauler owner Mike Skoien finally decided to drop Jose Ramirez. "Hitting below the Mendoza line for 250+ ABs since end of 2018 just won't cut it … when you're that bad I even have to resort to adding someone from the Dodgers ... but at least not someone from the Yankees who will likely be on the IL before you know it anyway…"

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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My Season Thus Far, Part 1

Yep. About like that.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Drunken Gymnstics

In this episode of Sunday Morning Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, we witness some drunken gymnastics … and marvel. W?! T?! F?!


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Ozuna Or Later

That didn't go as planned, did it?


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Privileged

Man, what an essay by Kyle Korver.

Meanwhile, here's the reaction from a great number of white people when asked to listen:


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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That's Some Real Bull Sierra

My last week in the SLPL.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Plumbing the Depths

What it was like being a Cleveland Indians fan in the 1970s and 1980s.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Craven Bastard

Oh! Hey! Look! It's the POS who who just keeps S-ing on everything!


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Me, the Other Mondays

See also: The occasional Wednesday.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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"Major League" Is 30?!?!

In the first episode of this season's Sunday Morning Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, we are told that the movie "Major League" is 30 years old. W?! T?! F?! Holy, hell!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Me, Most Mondays

See also: Most Tuesdays


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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"Literally Us, the Blue Jays"

Excuse us while we spend the rest of our Friday laughing our assess off.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Uni Watch

Maddog's Maulers owner Michael Skoien sent this cool article to us before the season kicked off, but we thought it was too good not to share. He said, "This might be a nostalgic and somewhat irreverent read during March Madness as we prepare for the kickoff of BASEBALL!!" Thanks, Michael!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Make That Five

Five trades are in the books now in this early season, and better than the fact that we have a hungry group of owners is that said same owners are also bitter and carrying a chip on their shoulders. For example, Ochre Sox owner Ray Brennan said about his trade: "Stanton goes on the DL, which in this case means Disabled List, not the Down Low. What the frick is it with these 'jocks' (do they even wear them anymore??) and their injuries? Maybe the teams ought to hire trainers and doctors and purchase exercise equipment to keep these tender little flowers in playing shape."

Ah, yes, that's the seething bitterness we so love.

Meanwhile, Dongwhpped owner Kevin Klinkhamer had this to say about his trade: "First time I take Stanton to begin a year and it only took him a weekend to turn into a foxtrotting clown."

Yes, please, more of that.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Four Trades Already

Remember what we said yesterday about istilled Awesomeness">awesomeness distilled? About enhanced competition? Yeah, well, with only a weekend's worth of games in the can, three owners have already made trades. Which is to say, this league ain't messing around. If you want to compete, you've gotta use some trades!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Distilled Awesomeness

If you missed it yesterday, our website is up-and-running! Yay, right? That means our stats and standings are all up to date, so check 'em out.

Anyway, given that we have a smaller league — distilled awesomeness, is what we like to call it — we have had to make a few adjustments, as you might've imagined. With eight fewer teams for a total of 28, we elected to have four divisions of seven teams, which eliminates two division payouts and cranks up the competition, big time. We have also adjusted the various and sundry lower-level payouts to make sure our Regular Season and Overall Champs are getting the hefty coin to which they've become accustomed. Here's how we're spreading the purse as of today:

The 2019 Pot


We're doing all of this in a vacuum, though, so feel free to give us your commentary. If you think we should be approaching things differently, let us know with an impassioned, though not whiny, message using the form at this link. We believe we can be reasoned with, so be reasonable. And not whiny. We hate whiny.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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