New Normal?
How My Season Began vs. Now
🔞 (@AwardsDarwin) April 28, 2019Super Tramp-oline pic.twitter.com/l5CufGae9Z
— Darwin Award
That's Sierraload, Good Sir
Astley Physics
👏🏻 pic.twitter.com/Nsmqx9j4gg— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) April 22, 2019Brilliant.
Drunks and a Sniper
🎥 Via @helpsainsburys2) pic.twitter.com/ExdDa3MhJO— Darwin Award 🔞 (@AwardsDarwin) April 24, 2019Drunks and a sniper.
(
Delightfully Peeved
My Season Thus Far, Part 3 (NSFW)
🎥 via @7737_44) pic.twitter.com/XJSTzeOh49— Darwin Award 🔞 (@AwardsDarwin) April 21, 2019Celebrating Easter with a swim. (
One of These Guys?
Working Those Quads, Take 2
Hold my beer while I dive off this deck.
— Hold My Beer (@HoIdMyBeer_) March 28, 2019
pic.twitter.com/bpCRRpTNle
Working Those Quads
🔞 (@AwardsDarwin) April 18, 2019I’ll just impress this girl buy throwing her in the air, what could go wrong? pic.twitter.com/JgEx5NdMlD
— Darwin Award
And for My Next Wish ...
Instant Karma. pic.twitter.com/Ye5yiuUojY
— INSTANT KARMA (@instakarm) April 18, 2019
My Season Thus Far, Part 2
🔞 (@AwardsDarwin) April 16, 2019Karma. pic.twitter.com/US4ODQIo56
— Darwin Award
At Least Jose Hit A Dinger for Him Last Night
My Season Thus Far, Part 1
Hold my beer, I’m gonna try and fly this chopper.
— Hold My Beer (@HoIdMyBeer_) March 9, 2019
pic.twitter.com/wUEyPiBkCK
Drunken Gymnstics
That’s drunk. pic.twitter.com/hZ6HnJNc3Y
— Dumb Drunk People (@dumbdrunkpeople) April 14, 2019
Ozuna Or Later
Jose Canseco: I made the most embarrassing outfield play ever.
— Greatest Show on Dirt Baseball Podcast (@greatestondirt) April 10, 2019
Marcell Ozuna: hold my beer. pic.twitter.com/HCB8Ua1MJR
Privileged
Meanwhile, here's the reaction from a great number of white people when asked to listen:
🔞 (@AwardsDarwin) April 12, 2019Lucky to be alive. pic.twitter.com/PlDe7GZZ1T
— Darwin Award
That's Some Real Bull Sierra
🔞 (@AwardsDarwin) April 10, 2019I’ll just stand here, what could go wrong? pic.twitter.com/9561QMwf1i
— Darwin Award
Plumbing the Depths
I can't believe this is a thing pic.twitter.com/xY3OMmTuxP
— Dissident Peasant (@JeffHisDudeness) April 10, 2019
Craven Bastard
Just when I thought this @realDonaldTrump bastard couldn't get more craven ... https://t.co/sEyiLhFteG
— JoeLivernois (@JoeLivernois) April 9, 2019
Me, the Other Mondays
📹 via @daveashy) pic.twitter.com/VYLrUwiquD— Hold My Beer (@holdmyale) April 7, 2019That’s a moron.
(
"Major League" Is 30?!?!
Me, Most Mondays
🔞 (@AwardsDarwin) April 5, 2019That had to hurt. pic.twitter.com/Rz82Hzp8PJ
— Darwin Award
"Literally Us, the Blue Jays"
“Literally us, the Blue Jays.” pic.twitter.com/UJcUjmeTLO
— Audra (@audruhhhh) April 5, 2019
Uni Watch
Make That Five
Ah, yes, that's the seething bitterness we so love.
Meanwhile, Dongwhpped owner Kevin Klinkhamer had this to say about his trade: "First time I take Stanton to begin a year and it only took him a weekend to turn into a foxtrotting clown."
Yes, please, more of that.
Four Trades Already
Distilled Awesomeness
Anyway, given that we have a smaller league — distilled awesomeness, is what we like to call it — we have had to make a few adjustments, as you might've imagined. With eight fewer teams for a total of 28, we elected to have four divisions of seven teams, which eliminates two division payouts and cranks up the competition, big time. We have also adjusted the various and sundry lower-level payouts to make sure our Regular Season and Overall Champs are getting the hefty coin to which they've become accustomed. Here's how we're spreading the purse as of today:
We're doing all of this in a vacuum, though, so feel free to give us your commentary. If you think we should be approaching things differently, let us know with an impassioned, though not whiny, message using the form at this link. We believe we can be reasoned with, so be reasonable. And not whiny. We hate whiny.