SLPL '17 SANTA LECHUGA POWER LEAGUE
The Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League In the Universe!

The Whole Darned Deal

We mentioned last Sunday that Alternative Stats owner Marcus Rochellle, a.k.a., Malcolm Foley, is getting married this coming Monday to Candice Cockrell, which everyone recognizes ups his Whole Darned Deal average by a good 277 percent. This is really saying something because Marcus is a pretty bitchen dude to begin with, but, you know, c'mon, he just isn't the whole darned deal yet. A someone like a Marcus joins up with a someone like a Candice and, man … that's the whole darned deal.

All of which is to say, we are hitting the road for points west, which means we might be a little slow updating the website and all. Bummer for us 'cause, you know, the whole End of the Regular Season Thing, but what are you going to do?

What we're going to do? We'll try to update things like standings and stats and end-of-season trades and major league announcements like crowning Regular Season Champs and such as quickly as we can, though we may be a little behind. Trust we will catch up soon enough, though, okay?

One big reminder before? All end-of-season trades need to be submitted before the last pitch of the last game of the Regular Season, which includes any tiebreakers to determine Wild Card participants. So, load up your team with playoff players before the last pitch of the last game of the Regular Season, 'k? Use this form to do so.

Toodles.
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Beginning to Wrap Up the Regular Season

You know the Regular Season comes to an end Sunday, right? Well, then, you better start figuring out how you want to go in the playoffs … with a Regular Season roster, filled with playoffs who aren't in the playoffs, or a Playoffs roster, filled with playoff players. What do you think? How many trades do you have left? Why don't you plan to use them?
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We Aren't Dark

We aren't dark! Standings and stats are up-to-date!

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We May Be Going Dark

We are hitting the road — Charlotte this time — and we may be without the ability to update the website until Friday morning. If you make trades while we are away — and why not do so before the end of the season? — you may have to wait until we get back for us to process them, which we will do retroactively to the date they should go into effect.

As has become our want, here's that nice video for you to enjoy until we get back.





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My Season, Thus Far, Part 51

Duck(s)!

Duck

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Preparing for the Playoffs

Yesterday we made mention of the need to get your post-season roster in order. To do that, you'll want to make trades to add players who will be in the playoffs, which should be obvious. Click here for a reminder on how trades work.

Who to pick? Well, players who will be in the playoffs, obviously, preferably ones who you think will score big points for you. Click here for a reminder of how points are scored during each round of the playoffs.
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Where Did the Season Go?

In this week's edition of Sunday Morning WTF?!, we freak out about the fact that the end of the season is just a week away …

The Regular Season comes to an end next Sunday, which means a whole new season begins, the playoffs. And because we are traveling a whole bunch over the next week — many of us to witness Alternative Stats owner Marcus Rochellle getting hitched — we are a bit freaked about being able to easily bring the season to an end. So, we're asking owners to feel completely and totally free to submit your end-of-season trades earlier rather than later. Beef up your roster with a slew of playoff players now!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Regular Season, where in the ever-loving hotel did you go? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
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My Season, Thus Far, Part 50

Fly! Be free!


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Ten Days Left?

Where the hell did the season go? Ten days left? Well, I guess time flies when you are having a horrific season.
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Damn

Ouch.
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My Season, Thus Far, Part 49

Circa June 17th. The dog arrives in September.

She tried

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It Should Not Have Been Rule A Catch, Apparently

Word is, this wasn't an out.
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My Season, Thus Far, Part 48

Things rapidly got out of hand.

His face describes his happiness.

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Think It Through!

In this week's edition of Sunday Morning WTF?!, we ponder the plight of poor people in a foreign country …

You almost feel more sorry for the woman with the umbrella for inadvertently exposing the sham …
Don't be fooled by the legs that I got
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, poor Eddie Murphy-like character a la Trading Places?! You couldn't spend some of that hard-earned money on a fricken belt?! A belt! A belt would help you keep the bag that hides your legs affixed to your body, wouldn't it? Or perhaps a nice rope? Suspenders, maybe? Stickum? Perhaps sew the bag to your shirt? Damn, man. Think it through! If you're going to decide to skate around on a slab of plywood with rollers while begging with a nice dog bowl, you should commit to getting the full effect right. I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!

We don't usually have a coda for our WTFs, but this video is just way too good/scary not to add it. Hey, Eddie Murphy guy, get up, brush yourself off, buy a belt, and remember that the show must go on.






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One More to Leave Right Here

I'll just leave this right here so I can watch in for years to come.


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Let's Just Leave This Right Here

I'll just leave this right here so I can watch in for years to come.


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Twenty-One Incredible Facts About the Indians' Record 21-Game Winning Streak

Yep.
  1. Their winning streak is more impressive than Oakland’s.
  2. Their winning streak is more impressive than the so-called record, too, because it’s an actual winning streak.
  3. They’ve hit more home runs during the streak than they’ve allowed runs.
  4. They’ve played 189 innings during the streak and trailed in just four.
  5. They’ve done this without two of their best players.
  6. They’re going to set a record for strikeouts by a pitching staff.
  7. Their hitters, on the other hand, do not strike out.
  8. They do, however, walk.
  9. They’re not the best offensive team in baseball because they haven’t been clutch.
  10. They hadn’t allowed a single unearned run during the streak until Wednesday.
  11. Their ace is not human.
  12. They love to throw curveballs.
  13. They love to throw cutters, too.
  14. They’ve got the best bullpen in baseball.
  15. They’ve thrown seven shutouts in the streak.
  16. They haven’t given up more than four runs in three weeks – since the first game of the streak.
  17. They haven’t wasted any time in pouncing on teams during the streak.
  18. They have hit as well with two strikes than any team this year – and especially during the streak.
  19. They have used only one player in all 21 games – and you probably have no idea who he is.
  20. They’re in awfully good company with the 1935 Cubs
  21. They have a shrine to Jobu.
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My Season, Thus Far, Part 47

I'm just that good.


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My Season, Thus Far, Part 46

That second one represents for my fantasy football teams, which apparently have been created just to compound my 2017 misery …


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Rusty Hits One For Bobby

Here's a touching story about a ballplayer trying to do something meaningful for a kid in a cancer ward.
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How to Have a 3rd-and-Goal At Your Own 7-Yard-Line

In this week's edition of Sunday Morning WTF?!, we ponder this bit of head-scratchiness …

Wait around long enough and eventually something like this will happen, I suppose, but still …
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Louisiana Tech, you were already losing by 33 points … why not just let Mississippi State have six more ?! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!

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He's Running Out of Pages!

I don't understand much of what is happening, but I do understand how the, er, um, pitcher? ultimately gets his Alpha handed to him. Chadwick Walton does not relent in this very thorough Alpha-kicking.


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Most HRs Ever??? WTF???

Michael Skoien, owner of Maddog's Maulers, sent us bit of interestingness and asks, "And tell me why we are all doing so well with our rosters this year??? This doesn't help."
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My Season, Thus Far, Part 45

But things were so festive at the beginning …


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My Season, Thus Far, Part 44

I'm the little boy. The rest of the league is the little girl.

Concussion -revealed.

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My Season, Thus Far, Part 43

This is how it's been going for me, yep.

Taking the dog out

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Never Gonna Give You Up

Kevin Klinkhamer, owner of Dongwhipped, sent us this oddly, weirdly, bizarrely, how-the-hell-did-that-happen video, which we dig to no end.





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You Had One Job. One. How Would You Like Me To Depict That For You? I'm Thinking A Finger.

In this week's edition of Sunday Morning WTF?!, we question the hiring process at this children's publishing company…

Some posts write themselves. This is one of those:

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, children's book publishing company, hiring and editor who can count to ten is beyond your capacity?! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!

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Another Fantasy League I Get to Do Poorly In

Oh, hey look, the Fox Valley Fantasy Football League is having its in-person draft today, where ten of us — several of whom are also in the SLPL — get to eat wings, drink beer, and contemplate just how poorly I am going to perform in yet another fantasy sports league. It has become a thing (see also "My Season, Thus Far, Parts 1 through 42").

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