Derrek Kiker Wins Jim Cummings Cup, Crowned Overall Champ of EPIC FINAL SEASON
The rookie wasn't messing around. Where most newbies join the league all starry-eyed and wondrous, barely ready to field a team that has a positive number of points before the season ends, Derrek Kiker joined the 2021 EPIC FINAL SEASON of the Santa Lechuga Power League all confident. And premonitious. The following is an actual quote from the smack talk section of his submitted roster:
"It's going to feel good being the rookie who takes it all!"
I mean, who does that? In a bizarre, bespoke, unique, very specific, dopey little fantasy baseball league with 22 seasons under its now-incredibly-worn beer belly belt, this Kiker guy, a complete unknown and anonymous nobody out of nowhere, a friend of past-champ Paul Martin, waltzed in and dominated the league. On Sunday Derrek Kiker's Sactown Sluggers and Aces were crowned the 2021 Overall Champion of the Santa Lechuga Power League.
Scores of past-champs and other veterans were ready to show the snot-nosed brat a thing or two, only to be turned away by the guy who gave himself a moniker that stuck: The Rookie Who Took It All. That's gotta feel good.
Another thing for him to feel good about? Long-beleaguered League Commissioner Rube Furrow will hand over one of those funny outsized checks with funny outsized winnings of $1,730, the single largest payday to a single individual in league history, which is completely apropos of an EPIC FINAL SEASON! Kiker also won the Hitting Championship and La División de Burritos Championship. That’s just an incredible season. Dare I say, epic?
One past-champ didn't let Sunday go without asserting a bit of flex of his own. Defending going-for-the-threepeat Overall Champ D.Jay Andersen Saturday night submitted five pitching trades — all starters in today's final Regular Season games — which propelled his Deeger's Dogs from 300 points down to 2,100 points up to win the Pitching Championship. It was a darned deft move that gave the final day of the season a bit of unexpected drama.
Here are all the Official Champs for the EPIC FINAL SEASON of the Santa Lechuga Power League.
- Overall Champ: Derrek Kiker, Sactown Sluggers and Aces
- Hitting Champ: Derrek Kiker, Deeger's Dogs
- Pitching Champ: D.Jay Andersen, Deeger's Dogs
- La División Quesadilla Champ: Bill Cunning, 1 Flew Over the Crooked Fence
- La División de Tacos Champ: Jack Tripp, SandyEggo Padres
- La División de Tamales Champ: Mike Skoien, Maddog's Maulers
And here are the final money winners.
- Derrek Kiker, Sactown Sluggers and Aces, for Overall Champ
- Jack Tripp, SandyEggo Padres, for La División de Tacos Champ ($250) and for next deserving team in Hitting performance ($300)*
- D.Jay Andersen, Deeger's Dogs, Pitching Champ
- Bill Cunning, 1 Flew Over the Crooked Fence, La División Quesadilla Champ
- Mike Skoien, Maddog's Maulers, for La División de Tamales Champ
- Scott Allen, Scoot Bigs, for next most deserving performance across all Divisions*
*Remember, the Overall Champ can only win monies for that championship; those monies are then given to the next deserving team in that category.
Congratulations to all our champs and money winners. Most of all, congratulations to Derrek Kiker for winning the the Jim Cummings Cup, which was named after the 2005 Overall Champ who died in 2013 and is given each year in honor of winning the Overall SLPL Championship. The Jim Cummings Cup is a coffee cup and not an athletic cup, though league head honchos long re-considered that choice given that Jim was said to be an excellent ballplayer.
Thanks to all your for joining us this final season. It's been a wild and weird 23 seasons and it’s been a blast to have you as a part of it.
Finally, be on the lookout for a message from our Commish, Rube Furrow. When he awakens from his completely unexpected end-of-season stupor, I'm sure he'll want to share some thoughts about the end of the season and about the end of the league.