In this week's edition of Sunday Morning WTF?!, we're not sure what we're TFing…
What's there to Tango Foxtrot? This World Series is going to at least six games! We are happy campers!
Then again, the longer the Dodgers are still alive the longer they aren't dead sooner. We need them dead sooner.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Houston Astros, you can't eliminate the Dodgers sooner?! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
In this week's edition of Sunday Morning WTF?!, we ponder negative numbers …
Check this out:
Thirteen — of 36! — SLPL teams are playing the playoffs in the black … everyone else has negative numbers.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, SLPL owners, you can't score positive points? What, are you running the bases backwards? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
In this week's edition of Sunday Morning WTF?!, we consider the roster of our current Playoffs standings leader …
Check out the roster that Jack Tripp, owner of Sandyeggo Padres, is sporting this postseason:
That's the roster that has Jack currently sitting in first place in the Playoffs. Yesterday alone he got dongs from Bryce Harper, Anthony Rizzo, George Springer, and Ryan Zimmerman. He even squeezed six Ks out of Robbie Ray. We don't know if this roster is built for the long postseason haul — he'll loses three players if the Nationals go down to the Cubs in the NLDS — but Jack has a decent mix of remaining playoff teams still standing. The amazing thing is that Jack didn't pick up any of these guys at the last minute … he made his last trade in June, which means he's been sitting on these guys since then.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Jack Tripp, how'd you do that? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
If this were a Sunday, this would be a Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! Check this out:
Or, rather, my Los Monos de Pepinos say good riddance to a dreadful, dreadful season, but a lot of folks in the league aren’t doing that. Like, for example, the following particular folks, who will be celebrating tonight, after the last pitch of the last game, because they will be crowned champs of the 2017 SLPL Regular Season (assuming no one overtakes them on today’s action):
And then there's the folks who are still within shouting distance of the Overall Standings, the folks who will have made adept trades before the end of the trading deadline tonight to stock their rosters full of playoff players who will gain them playoff points and potentially waylay those adept trades into an Overall Championship. Is one of those folks you? Could be, right? So, get your trades in tonight, before the last pitch of the last game.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Los Monos de Pepinos, why couldn't you be one of the cool teams like that? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
BTW, if you’re making trades, please use this form.
The Regular Season comes to an end next Sunday, which means a whole new season begins, the playoffs. And because we are traveling a whole bunch over the next week — many of us to witness Alternative Stats owner Marcus Rochellle getting hitched — we are a bit freaked about being able to easily bring the season to an end. So, we're asking owners to feel completely and totally free to submit your end-of-season trades earlier rather than later. Beef up your roster with a slew of playoff players now!
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Regular Season, where in the ever-loving hotel did you go? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
You almost feel more sorry for the woman with the umbrella for inadvertently exposing the sham …
We don't usually have a coda for our WTFs, but this video is just way too good/scary not to add it. Hey, Eddie Murphy guy, get up, brush yourself off, buy a belt, and remember that the show must go on.
Wait around long enough and eventually something like this will happen, I suppose, but still …
Some posts write themselves. This is one of those:
Proofreading this book couldn't have been that hard?! pic.twitter.com/9RMYwdVFqd— Daniel Holland (@DannyDutch) August 10, 2017
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, children's book publishing company, hiring and editor who can count to ten is beyond your capacity?! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Valar Morghulis owner Jeren "Skeeter" Livernois came at us recently with some interesting, WTF?! trivia: "There have now been two Major League players with the name Boog Powell, yet there has yet to be a Major Leaguer with the first name Isaac (yes, there have been a handful of Ikes, however none have gone by Isaac). Bonus Fun Fact: One of those Ikes had the given birth name of Isaac Newton. He played his career under the name of "Ike Fisher."
Fascinating, especially considering that there have been over 19,000 players in the majors.
Then again, there are only about 83,000 Isaacs in the U.S., and going by "Ike" is undeniable more cool than going by Isaac.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot … well … hmmmm … maybe it's not so WTF?! after all?
Oh, wait, that's it!
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, us, trying to make sense of statistics an anomalies and what's cool! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Nope. Not going to say a word about this …
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot … um … who's to yell at here? Who's to scream at, incredulously? We can't even hazard a guess. I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
This is what went through my mind the first time I saw the GIF below: "Oooooo, beautiful. That's spectacular. What a wondef— HOLD STILL YOU MFING DIPWADDED ALPHAHOLE! I HOPE THE PLANE GOES DOWN AND YOUR BODY SLOWLY BOILS IN THE TRANSPARENT BLUE FLAME OF BURNING JET FUEL WHILE YOU MAINTAIN CONSCIOUSNESS WONDERING WHY YOU COULDN'T JUST STAY STILL WHILE YOU RECORDED THAT NIFTY NATURAL WONDER!!!
As Joe says, rules are rules.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, every other minor league baseball team, why can't you all have this rule? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Sometimes, I seriously love the Internet:
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, season ticket holders! It was Bark In the Park. Bark In the Park! Not Baaaa! In the Park! Get it straight! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Oh, hey! Let's take a look at a microcosm of every mediocre American white man ever:
On Friday night Hall of Fame pitcher Jim Bunning died, which means, Yay!, we will have a HOF Champ this season! LetsPlayCatch owner Weston Livernois and Farmer, Greene, and Romine owner Vince Livernois each scored 100 points while Get with the Programmer owner Alec Puente grabbed 75 points.
Here's a reminder of how points are awarded for the HOF Death Pool: Here's how points are awarded:
Points are earned by subtracting the reported age of the dirt-napper at the time of his death (rounded down to the most-recent birthday) from 100 and multiplying the result by 5. So: An 80-year-old would get 100-80=20*5=100 points. A 40-year-old would get 100-40=60*5=300 points.
In this instance, Bunning, aged 85, earned 100-85=15*5=75 points.
And here's how the Magic Number came into play to get Vince and Weston an extra 25 points:
For the HOF Death Pool, the team with the Magic Number closest to the Date-of-Death (DoD) will get an extra 25 points. … Note: More than one team can be awarded the extra points if their Magic Numbers are equidistant to the DoD. So, if Bob dies on the 15th and one team has 14 and another has 16, both teams will get the 25 extra points.
In this instance, Bunning died on the 26th; Vince has a Magic Number of 25 and Weston has 27.
And with that, Whiskey Tango Everloving Foxtrot, 2016 season, you couldn't give us at least one choice Hall of Fame death so that we could award a champ last season? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
As a side note: As bleeding heart liberals, we totally understand where I'm Too Old for this Sh*t co-owner Sue Klinkhamer is coming from in this Facebook exchange:
"Hey, look," he says, "maybe I wasn't able to keep the girl, but for my efforts at least I got a nifty pair of new sunglasses. These will go great with my beard."
We have also decided to revive a league favorite, which former SLPL owner Scott “Scoot Bigs” Allen shared with us way back in ’11. Scott said that it is a tradition in his country of origin to celebrate Mother’s Day by dancing around a scooter. We didn’t believe him until we dug up this video on the Interwebs. (BTW, Scoot’s the one wearing jorts.)
Dear PR (Pedregoso Pos): Hunch time…. I want to switch out Adam Jones and replace him with Giancarlo Stanton with my virgin trade as team owner.
I know I’m carrying some slow starters in my HR crowd, but will stick with the rest for now, including my sentimental choice, Jose Abreu, who got his first two today as the AL Central first place White Sox won their 6th in a row. I’m regretting Schwarber, but am not ready to ditch him yet, as the Cubs hit better when the ivy is fully in leaf.
It’s tempting to go after Judge or Thames but I’m betting the former will cool off very soon and the latter will be suspended for drug use. I missed dumping Miguel Cabrera when he went on the DL, but the Sox-Tigers may be rained out tomorrow and MC is due back Tuesday and that would mean he’d miss just one more game, so I’ll save the trade. Then he’ll need to pick up his pace. It was a risk to pick Encarnacion given how awful the Tribe usually does in the free agent market, but he’s coming to life.
Being a negligent owner, I thought I had picked Bumgarner but I guess I don’t need to trade a pitcher who’s not even on my team. Too bad about his injury, though.
Thanks for enduring my rambling, but please register my trade. Gracias, Imperial Leader!
What we just witnessed was the best trade submission this season. Hell, maybe of any season.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Ray Brennan, where they hell have you been? You couldn't submit your "ramblings," which we call astute, entertaining analysis, once a week or so? Seriously? W?! T?! F?!
But today's WTF?! doesn't go to Wallygator, who actually made a valiant effort to help the kid. Instead, check out the dude in the white shirt sitting in front of him. That has to be about the weakest, sorriest, non-beer-holding foul ball effort I have ever witnessed. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, front-row-sitting, weak-sauce, pathetic white guy? You couldn't stand up and lean back to catch the foul ball? You make me sad to share a species with you. Seriously? W?! T?! F?!
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, WhatCulture? All you needed to do was to explain the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey to me. That's all. That's it. The other nine movies? Meh. Just explain 2001, okay? But you couldn't do that? I didn't get it, much less get it wrong, but I just sat through nine other movies to learn that you were as baffled as me? W?! T?! F?!