The Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League In the Universe!

Jim Cummings Cup Awarded to Cabbage Farmers Owner Paul Martin; Final 2018 Champs and Money Winners Announced

He ended the Regular Season in 2nd place in his own division, La División de Jamaica. He was tied for 10th in the All-Star Standings, 18th in the Pitching Standings, 3rd in the Hitting Standings, and 4th in the Overall Standings. Even during the playoffs he was nowhere near first until Game 4 of the World Series, when a dinger off the bat of Yasiel Puig propelled him into 2nd place Overall. From there it was who he didn’t have on his roster — Clayton Kershaw, giver-upper of three home runs during last night’s painful Dodger loss — that moved him into first place Overall and made Paul Martin, owner of the Cabbage Farmers, the 2018 Overall Champion and rightful earner of the Jim Cummings Cup.

“Yeah, well, see, okay … who the hell thought that would happen,” Paul asked while wearing a wheat-grass soaked jersey from the locker room celebrations in Costa Mesa, CA, while eating fish tacos. “Scott Allen, man, his Scoots Bigelow, I was convinced he had it locked. I didn’t even know I had won tonight until they dragged me into the locker room to celebrate, that’s how certain I was that Scoot would win. I was too busy watching the riveting 'Real Housewives of Orange County' on Bravo. Like Kelly, I too am concerned about whether or not her mother's becoming a hermit. And Meghan, gosh, I sure hope she makes her way back to Orange County after the birth of her baby, Aspen.”

Allen, meanwhile, was on pins and needles the whole time with a slim 23-point lead going into Game 5. During the game, Scoot said: "Feeling the pressure ... no idea if Davey Roberts or Paul Martin is more of a genius ... but if Yasiel Puig beats me, god bless. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.”

After the game, Allen said from the losing locker room, “The Puig clock was right, damnit. Congrats to Cabbage, though! I’m sad and all, but #Mattmcduffie will make my day. Bitchen for Paul, though."

Indeed. As in, 815 bits of dollar-like bitcheness, plus a pass on next season's ownership fees, coming up to a grand total of $915 worth of winnings, a nice windfall for the Cabbage Farmers owner, who has been in the SLPL continuously since 2001 without winning a major championship before now. That's quite a season for a guy that was completely out of the money at the end of the Regular Season.

“Yeah, sure, that’s cool and all, but the part that’s really sweet is that I’m the first blood relation of Jim Cummings to win the Jim Cummings Cup,” Paul said.

The Jim Cummings Cup is named after the 2005 Overall Champ, who died in 2013, and is given each year in honor of winning the Overall SLPL Championship. It’s a coffee cup, not an athletic cup, though all the sudden league head honchos are rethinking that choice, given that we just remembered that Jim was said to be an excellent ballplayer.

"As Jim's first-cousin once-removed, it is an extra special honor to win the overall championship and the Jim Cummings Cup,” Paul said, looking skyward. "This one’s for you, Jim!"

In the pot this 2018 season, $3,780 is being spread across nine winners, with $225 of that being set aside for whoever wins the HOF Death Pool.

Here are all the official champs and final money-winners for the 2018 season:

2018 Champs
End-of-Season Champs
  • Overall Champ: Paul Martin, Cabbage Farmers
  • Playoff Champ: Scott Allen, Scoots Bigelow

Regular Season Champs
  • Regular Season Champ: Kevin Klinkhamer, Dongwhipped
  • Hitting Champ: Tom Kinchus, Donde Esta Mi Cerveza
  • Pitching Champ: Rube Furrow, Ben Carson's Woody
  • All-Star Champ: Vince Livernois, Citzen Inane
  • La División Culantro Champ: Tony Livernois, Los Monos de Pepino
  • La División de Berros Champ: Tom Kinchus, Donde Esta Mi Cerveza
  • La División de Caña de Azúcar Champ: Samuel Lewis, The Chuck Nasty Fan Club
  • La División de Jamaica Champ: Rube Furrow, Ben Carson's Woody
  • La División de la Calabaza Champ: Kevin Klinkhamer, Dongwhipped
  • La División de la Cebolla Verde Champ: Scott Allen, Scoots Bigelow

2018 Money-Winners
  • $815 + next season's ownership fees - Paul Martin, Cabbage Farmers - Overall Champ
  • $815 - Kevin Klinkhamer, Dongwhipped - Regular Season Champ
  • $400 - Scott Allen, Scoots Bigelow - Playoffs Champ + La División de la Cebolla Verde Champ
  • $400 - Tom Kinchus, Donde Esta Mi Cerveza - Hitting Champ + La División de Berros Champ
  • $400 - Rube Furrow, Ben Carson's Woody - Pitching Champ + La División de Jamaica Champ
  • $200 - Vince Livernois, Citzen Inane - All-Star Champ
  • $175 - Tony Livernois, Los Monos de Pepino - La División Culantro Champ
  • $175 - Samuel Lewis, The Chuck Nasty Fan Club - La División de Caña de Azúcar Champ
  • $175 - Susan Crohare - The Pretenders - next most deserving for Division based on points, replacing Kevin Klinkhamer

Winner to be Named Later
There's still one payout to be made for the season since we extend our Hall-of-Fame Death Pool for each season until the beginning of the next season. This means that we will start next season by handing out a check to our final winner. Doc Ellis D owner Frank Sumrall and Donde Esta Mi Cerveza owner Tom Kinchus currently lead the HOF Deal Pool with 75 points.

Congratulations to Paul Martin and his Cabbage Farmers! Congrats all to all our other champs and money winners! And thanks to all of you for joining us for a most-excellent season. We look forward to seeing you all next year.


P.S. IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL MONEY-WINNERS: Please use this form to give us your preferred snail mail address so Rube can send your check. Or, if you would like him to send you a PayPal transfer, let us know that instead by including your PayPal information.

Playoff Standings . Final Regular Season Standings . Make A Trade . Pay Already

blog comments powered by Disqus