SANTA LECHUGA POWER LEAGUE '18


The Best Damn Fantasy Baseball League In the Universe!

Father's Day? Sure, Let's Quote a Father

In this Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, we ponder the topsy-turviness of the world …

It's a topsy-turvy world when we quote a priest, especially on Father's Day, but, I mean, he is a father. And he speaks truth. Read his whole Twitter thread below. Enjoy the other Tweets while you're at it.

Anyway, idiots, all the spineless and cowardly GOP senators and representatives who are allowing this to happen are complete complete and total idiots. So, too, is every single person who deludes themselves into thinking they hold any moral high ground while still supporting these heinous idiots in this administration who are creating concentration camps for children of desperate people seeking asylum. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! you absolute Foxtrotting, lowlife imbeciles. Seriously, W?! T?! F?!


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Heh

I love Twitter.

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This Bit of Wow!

Courtesy of Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer, then later Mar-a-Lago Orange Sox owner Joe Kelly, comes this bit of wow, which Keven described as a real, true-to-life, legit Sunday Morning WTF?! since it happened last Sunday:

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"Storm" by Tim Minchin

Can't have this reminder too much.


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Dizzy Bat

Hey, is that Cameltowing, Inc., owner David "Eddie" Edison?


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Red Has Walked Into the Light

So Red Schoendienst has finally kicked the bucket, which means the St. Louis Cardinals are going to have to dig through some cellars to find a jersey they can parade around in their dugout for the next three months, a practice they have perfected over the years to glean maximum needed motivation from the corpses of their former players.

Meanwhile, we here at the SLPL don't glean motivation so much as points, points earned toward a death pool we created to make fun of the creepy Cardinals for their heinous practice. With Red's death, nine SLPL teams earning a minimum of 25 points for having him on their Hall of Fame Death Pool rosters at least once. Doc Ellis D owner Frank Sumrall and Donde Esta Mi Cerveza owner Tom Kinchus both earned 75 points, Frank for having Red on his roster three times and Tom for having him on his roster once plus earning 50 points for having the Magic Number of 6, which is the date of Red's death.

Here's how points are awarded for the HOF Death Pool.
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Thing of Beauty

Check this out, an immaculate inning.


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One Man Kneeling

That one man kneeling? Attaboy! Everyone else? You are vapid, craven, asswipe, Kool-Aid swilling idiots.

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Truckload of Crazy

In this Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, we ponder the implications …

Paranoia, much?



That there is a truckload of crazy, all consolidated in writing onto a carefully-manicured if poorly-spelled crazy truck. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! crazed driver? Seriously, W?! T?! F?!

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Sorry About That, Chief

Sorry to have been dark for so long. I was traveling a slew and then came home with bad health issues that necessitated a stay in the hospital and featured a serious cancer scare that has since been downgraded to a pesky diverticulitis reality. "I'll take the latter for $1000, Alex." I'm home, I'm recovering, and I'm feeling much better, thankyouverymuch. Now, how are my Monos doing?
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This Makes Me Happy

Adopt. Don't buy.

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Sorry About That, Chief

We went inadvertently dark … a few days before we may have to go dark for several days. Wish us well.
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Who Hasn't Done This?

I mean, can you blame the guy?


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Street Fighter IRL

Well done.

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Sunday Morning WTH?! Hey, All You Mothers Out There!

In this Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, we tame our default proclivities …

As we have in seasons past, we have decided to be respectful to all the mothers in this league for at least one day of the season by renaming our regular Sunday series “Sunday Morning WTF?!” in honor of Mother’s Day to “Sunday Morning WTH?!?!” As in, “What the heck?!” or, “Whiskey Tango Hotel?” Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there!

We have also decided to revive a league favorite, which former SLPL owner Scott “Scoot Bigs” Allen shared with us way back in ’11. Scott said that it is a tradition in his country of origin to celebrate Mother’s Day by dancing around a scooter. We didn’t believe him until we dug up this video on the Interwebs. (BTW, Scoot’s the one wearing jorts.)

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Stonekettle Rocks

Heh.


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That's One Way To Do It

Boy, this is painful. Not to watch, but to be the cameraman in in the red shirt.

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The Camel Run: Great New Between-Inning Entertainment

One great outcome of the camel towing auditions mentioned Sunday is that Endive Stadium will now feature cool between-inning entertainment, the Camel Run, where camels race between first and home. This guy looks to be an early favorite.


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Oppo Tacos Are Tasty

More fun from Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer, who sent us this message: "SLPL down-on-the-farm report: Vlad Guerrero Jr. with the oppo taco...off a foxtrottin' tee!" Once again, thanks, Kevin!


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Doozy Doesn't Quite Do This Justice

Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer sent us this message: "Ya know, we've really gotten away from posting instances like these the past couple years so might as well start again with a doozy." Thanks, Kevin!

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Let's Just Go Ahead and Give the Win to the Editors

Let's just go ahead and give the win to the editors in the Editors vs. Spellcheck Olympics, shall we?


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Tow Your Camels Elsehwere, Willya?

In this Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, we ask an owner to take his show off the road …

So, er, Cameltowing, Inc. owner David Edison, do you suppose you can hold your auditions a bit further from Endive Stadium, especially so close to game time?



Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Eddie?! You have to block traffic to all our fans just so you can run your cab company!?!? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!

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$120 Million to Squeeze a Bag Into a Glass

It took me a year since it was released, but I finally discovered the Stupidest Thing Ever Created.


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Heathrow's Doing It Right On May the 4th

My flight to Alderaan is canceled? I wonder what's up?.


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Have a Seat

I'm not seeing what I'm not seeing.

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Hebei Could Stand to Have an SLPL Team

Translated, the Tweet reads"The world is a very interesting place full of ugly statues. This is in the Chinese province of Hebei." Needless to say we disagree.

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On the Fly, with None of This Weak Sauce Bounce Once or Twice Sierra!

Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer sent us this awesome Tweet with the comment "People should get 20 points for Céspedes' HR on Saturday night. That is simply amazing...I mean, it's a covered garbage can!?!? And on the fly too, with none of that bounce once or twice Sierra!"
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Damnit, Man, You Gotta Hold the Damn Lead

In this Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, we chide the dude we praised yesterday…

Yesterday, we praised Mike Skoien of Maddog's Maulers — one of our most enthusiastic owners — for taking over first place. Today, he's in second place.

Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, Mr. Enthusiasm?! You can't hold the lead for more than a day!?!? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!

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This Makes Us Happy

Mike Skoien of Maddog's Maulers moved into first place today. This makes us happy. Mike is one of our most passionate and enthusiastic owners. He spent his first few years trying to get a feel for the league, but now he's playing it like a wily veteran, making adept trades and not spending them all early. Also, he's not chasing mirage players, folks who look good at the beginning of the year but whose home runs dissipate into thin air as you get closer to the end of the season.

Good work, Mike! Now, stay competitive!

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It's Been Done Before

Brutal but accurate.

Corpses of Dead Friends
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