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The Lettuce Curtain

What the hell?! The Lettuce Curtain opens on Broadway-In-Santa Lechuga during the same week that the Koch-funded industrial curtain factory opens on Arroyo Loco Way in Santa Lechuga? I can't wait to read Voices of Monterey Bay's investigative report on this "coincidence"!

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I Want to Get Weepy, Too

If I had any idea what was happening, I might could get weepy, too.


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Game Over, Man!

Umm … erm … wait … hold on …


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Deep Dive On Gaylord

It's either nostalgia or it's CSI-ing a long-ago train wreck, but I have found myself even more intrigued by Gaylord Perry's career after watching that Letterman interview. This here article is a nice recap to his infamous legacy. My only quibble is the use of the word "allegedly." I mean, just look at the subtitle of his book:

Me_and_the_Spitter

You know?

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It Boggles

How is this guy in the Hall-of-Fame?

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Speaking of Gaylord Perry

An hour or two after we posted yesterday's snark about "Ball Four" not being as good as "Me and the Spitter," we saw this fascinating article posted by SI. Interestingly, this article about Gaylord Perry starts with a quote from Jim Bouton's "Ball Four." The universe, man. The universe.

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"Ball Four"

It was no "Me and the Spitter," but "Ball Four" was really something.
By the way, I am clearly joking about "Me and the Spitter." While I was in the Gaylord Perry fan club and read his book at least a half a dozen times as a 10-year-old, I know it doesn't measure up to "Ball Four," like, in any universe.

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Samuel Lewis Crowned 2019 All-Star Champ (Assuming We Tracked Things Correctly)

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He was on of five owners to get Pete Alonso's Derby points, but he was the only owner of those seven to also have Gallo's All-Star Game points, which means Max Scherzer's Blue Eye owner Samuel Lewis is this year's first official Santa Lechuga Power League champ, the 2019 All-Star Champ*. With this win Samuel pulls 100 cool clams out of the coffers and the adoration of 27 other owners who would have preferred to be the winner of those 100 cool clams. Oh, and that number of clams could go up if paid trading activity is high enough this season.

Congratulations to Samuel Lewis on his 2019 All-Star Championship!
*This assumes we didn't make any mistakes. Which is to say, we may have messed up some of the math here since we had to manually enter all All-Star stats for every team in the league. If we made any mistakes, please notify us ASAP so that we can make corrections. You will find our tracking under the All-Star Stats tab in our boffo spreadsheet!

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We Have a Few All-Star Leaders

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Several, in fact, after Pete Alonso won last night's Home Run Derby. Here are the All-Star standings through last night:

Screen Shot 2019-07-09 at 10.58.19 AM


By the way, you should know this going into tonight's All-Star Game:

  • Hitters earn 150 points for every home run hit
  • Hitters lose 25 points for every K
  • Pitchers earn 25 points for every K
  • Pitchers lose 75 points for every homer surrendered

The team with the most combined points — Home Run Derby points plus All-Star Game points — will win the All-Star Championship.

BTW, points earned in this category are allocated exclusively to the All-Star Standings and are not allocated to the Overall Standings.

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Tonight Is the Home Run Derby

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Tonight is the Home Run Derby. If a player on your roster wins the All-Star Home Run Derby, your team picks up 250 points towards the All-Star standings. Points earned in this category are allocated exclusively to the All-Star Standings and are not allocated to the Overall Standings.

Good luck to you!

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Derby Tomorrow, All-Star Game Tuesday

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Remember, if you want to make trades to ensure you have players competing in the Home Run Derby, you have to submit your trade before 11:59 pm tonight. If you want players before the 2019 All-Star Game, you need to submit the trades by 11:59 pm Monday. Good luck to all!

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Turns Out, Apologies Are Due

The always-competitive DJay Andersen, owner of Deeger's Dogs, sent us a cordial message late last night calling our attention to something that would have slipped past our radar had he not caught it. He said: "Hey guys. I made a trade for Pete Alonso of the Mets. It was processed ok but for some reason his points are not registering on my totals. Please check for me and let me know Thank you."

Mind you, DJay only recently made the trade, but he's paying close enough attention that he could tell that Alonso's -4 points (before yesterday's dinger) weren't showing up in his totals. That must be why DJay is described as "always-competitive," right?

Anyways, he was right, Alonso was on his roster but his points weren't registering.

Turns out, when the chowderheads in the league (a.k.a., me) made the transaction we accidentally made Alonso "Reserve" rather than "Active," which, like, we never do.

Or, so we thought.

Turns out, we did do it three other times this season, putting players on Reserve rather than Active, which means points for those players were accumulating but never showing up in the teams' totals. Here are the teams affected:


I have since made all these players active, but the points won't show up until tomorrow's standings. Jack Tripp's Who's Your Padre will see the biggest jump in points since Vogelback has scored 82 (previously not showing) points for him.

Apologies, folks, for this mistake. And thanks, DJay, for your eagle eyes!

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The All-Star Game Is Around the Corner

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The 2019 All-Star Game is just around the corner. As a reminder of how that works:

How do I score points for the All-Star Standings?

During the Home Run Derby...
If a player on your roster wins the All-Star Home Run Derby, your team picks up 250 points

During the All-Star Game...

  • Hitters earn 150 points for every home run hit
  • Hitters lose 25 points for every K
  • Pitchers earn 25 points for every K
  • Pitchers lose 75 points for every homer surrendered

The team with the most combined points — Home Run Derby points plus All-Star Game points — will win the All-Star Championship.

BTW, points earned in this category are allocated exclusively to the All-Star Standings and are not allocated to the Overall Standings.

Incidentally, if you want to make trades to ensure you have players competing int he Home Run Derby, you have to submit your trade before 11:59 pm Sunday. If you want players before the All-Star Game, you need to submit the trades by 11:59 pm Monday.

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Four Things for the 4th

First for the 4th, Happy 4th of July!

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Photo from Babes Love Baseball

Second for the 4th, as is our want and tradition, below is our favorite 4th of July video, one we love a whole bunch but really love because of this lyric: “I wrote a poem on a dog biscuit | And your dog refused to look at it | So I got drunk and looked at the Empire State Building | It was no bigger than a nickel …” Check this out:






Third for the 4th, here is SLPL Commissioner Rube Furrow (aka, Joe Livernois) giving it his best while conducting a rousing rendition of "Stars and Stripes Forever" with the Monterey Bay Symphony back in 2009:






Fourth for the 4th, we love this crowd-sourced video:






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This Makes Me Very Happy

Anytime is the right time to listen to some old B-52s, but today they released a new video for an old song, Rock Lobster. It's as trippy as it is fun. Enjoy.


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Oh, Damn

Yet another tip of the ballcap to Maddog's Maulers owner Mike Skoien, this time for this submission. Mike is dogging the team from Flushing, saying "And this is just another reason the Mets are so bad!" Oh, damn!

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Superkid!

Interesting follow-up to a SI cover story.

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Minnesotans Handling Homers

Tip of the ballcap to Maddog's Maulers owner Mike Skoien giving us this blog fodder about ten days back. Mike is bragging here, saying "This is how we Minnesotans handle home runs! 😂😂😂" Thanks, Mike!

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Looking At the Standings

Yep. That's my season.

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Lamentable Lament

Tip of the ballcap to Maddog's Maulers owner Mike Skoien for sending us this link about ten days back. Mike included the lament "Isn't this what the increased number of trades are for? Why keep Giancarlo Stanton on your roster when he doesn't play for weeks? How about underperforming 'stars'? With the exception of two owners who have Vogelbach on their roster, no one has any of these hitters (me included)....WTF??" I feel you pain, Mike. I feel your pain.

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Aloha, Viejo

Sorry that it's been so long since we updated the blog. We have updated the standings and stats here and there, but the blog has been left untouched for too long. Again, apologies.

This being the Santa Lechuga Power League, we need to give a nod on the blog to someone who had a huge impact on the lives of the Family Livernois. Roger Earl Bartindale — who our commissioner Rube Furrow once bestowed the title "The Family Antagonist" — died yesterday after over 103 impressive years on this earth. We will be forever grateful to Viejo for all the things he did for us over these many, many years, the most important of which may have been giving us dozens and dozens of legendary, over-the-top, you-can't-make-this-stuff-up stories that will live in our memories until it's our turn to check out. Aloha, Roger.


Roger Earl Bartindale, center, with the Family Livernois (and a Rochellle)
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No, It Really Hasn't Gotten Out of Hand

Tip of the ballcap to Maddog's Maulers owner Mike Skoien for sending us this link with the comment "I don't know, I think this league kind of digs this trend!" Indeed we do, Mike. Indeed we do.

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While We Were Away

This is what we were up to:

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We Are Going Semi-Dark

The last of his Livernois generation is graduating from high school, which means the rest of us are headed to Chico, CA, to convene to celebrate, which means we're going semi-dark through next Tuesday so that we can celebrate Brandt Livernois' high school graduation. You know. It's a thing. These celebrations.

What does semi-dark mean? It means that we can't update this here blog but we can update the stats and standings, as long as we have a trusty WiFi connection. So, check back here to check the stats and standings. When we get back, we might post a picture of Brandt in his Dogs Playing Poker shirt, which he will have earned because he graduated.

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My Year In a GIF

Two weeks into my season and this happens …


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Advertently This Time

Going dark again. Heading to Denver for a few days, though we may be able to update stats and standings while there. Will try to get things fully up and running again on Saturday morning.

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"What Just Happened?!"

Uncle Vanya's Morphine owner Joe Livernois says, about this: "The precise moment Auburn decided to abandon its baseball program forever …"

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Sorry About That, Chief

We went inadvertently dark … a few days before we may have to go dark again for several days. We always seem to catch up, though, so don't fret too much.

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This Makes Us Happy

We enjoy this immensely. And we've been to bullfights. Maybe because we've been to bullfights.


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Um, Ouch?

And away the Monos gooooo …. ooooooooh!!!!


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