Baseball Furies owner Ray Jasutis formally submitted protest papers yesterday to SLPL offices.
Unfortunately, we hold zero sway with the MLB and have zero abilities — either bureaucratically or emotionally — to deal with a formal protest. We are afraid Ray, who has written the best SLPL blog fodder of the season here, is just going to have to win the Playoffs championship hobbled by bad umpiring.
I’d like to protest (Wednesday's) call by Joe West robbing me of a home run and those precious playoff points. Do the Santa Lechuga commissioners have what it takes to overturn that call and make it right? I’d expect you to have some clout with MLB, so I’m hoping you can help out. If you’re not interested in pursuing Joe West’s robbing one (or two) of your owners, I will be forced to pursue this on my own by calling The MLB office (recorded with their permission) about this travesty and attempt to have them overturn the call. I’m more than happy to share that recording with the commissioners and the league if you see fit. Please let me know if I have to pursue this on my own. MLB’s phone number: Customer Support toll-free number:866-800-1275 Thank you?
Oh, and yes, please do share your recording!
The Championship Seriezez are off to a raucous start, Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer is back in first place Overall, and SLPL Commissioner Rube Furrow is scouting out new and different fantasy sport options. Despite all the great things he heard about the sports in Australia, he appears to be striking out down under. To whit:
I'm asking my mates at SLPL because I know them to be some of the more savvy sportsmen in the universe (why else would they participate in SLPL?). But I sat in the grandstands in a green field in Dubbo, Australia, for a good 30 minutes yesterday and tried to figure out what these buggers were doing. Their activity seemed sort of like a "sport" in that men tried to strike a ball with a stick, much like baseball and the San Francisco 49ers' current roster. And the other participants mostly stood around and did nothing. Again, much like baseball. Beyond that, there seemed to be no rhyme or reason for anything anybody was doing, up to including some weird bit of jogging between some sticks posted in the ground. I wondered the point of it all, but came up empty. Can anybody help?
How Do I Convert This to Fantasy Points?
Um. Er. What?
If anyone can help, please email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! Australia?!?! You call that a sport? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Thanks for the pickup, Michael. Though I suspect it won't be enough to get us out of the funk, we appreciate that people care enough to write us to try to help. Truly.
I would like to tell you that to the best of my knowledge you have executed every roster move/trade perfectly. So you got that going for you…
Hopefully your Indians will WTFU when they get to Cleveland. Although appreciate Francisco Lindor's homer in a losing effort.
In this Sunday Morning Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?!, we express our disappointment in ourselves …
Yeah, so, we got everything up and running again, finally, which is what we were hoping to do, but within an hour or two one owner — sorry about that, DJay Andersen! — wrote us to let us know that we had pretty much screwed up his entire playoff roster, which, you know, was our only job, not getting rosters screwed up. He was kind enough to tell us we got his pitching roster right, which we needed to know, but it was at that point when we realized that he was going out of his way to be nice to us, likely because he was thinking we are probably a little, I dunno, maybe slow or dumb or stupid or not paying attention or something? but he wouldn't have been wrong in that assessment because we, you know, got everything else wrong on a single roster so maybe there was something fundamentally wrong with us.
Which makes use think, what else have we gotten wrong?
Please, owners, check your playoff rosters. Check your trades. And do us a big favor and double-check every interaction you have had with us in the last two months to see if we were coherent, speaking comprehensibly, and even apparently awake. If you come across anything that makes you think maybe we're a bit off — Paul Martin, no need to report that I told you the Browns had won a game a week before they actually won a game since I've already taken note of that concerning incident — please let us know and we'll print it out and be ready to show the doctor should someone drive us to the doctor because they to are really concerned about us. The documentation could prove useful. And if there's enough, I'll just go ahead and drive myself.
We are worried about us.
And it's not that existential worry like the kind you get when you realize that a heinous, rapey frat boy was just confirmed as a Supreme Court justice and will ruin the lives of everyone in our country but mostly women and the downtrodden while creating even more downtrodden for the next 30 years, but more of a dull, hazy, what-else-have-I-let-fall-through-the-cracks? sort of worry.
Or maybe those two worries are related?
Hey, look, the playoffs have started! Let's enjoy us the playoffs! How are my Indians doing?
Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! us?!?! Why does literally everything in the world bring us so down? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
If all is up and running like we're hoping it's up and running, we're finally up and running for the playoffs. Check this out. Is your roster right? Have we processed all trades appropriately? Are things tracking? If not, let us know ASAP and we'll make the fixes. And good luck the rest of the way.
(Now, don't get us started with what it took to get things up and running! We've been refining this damned Excel spreadsheet for 19 seasons and this season Microsoft decided to just boof our cell names, indiscriminately, for no good reason, which meant we pretty much had to re-do the entire playoffs worksheets. FN Microsoft.)
Meanwhile, many other champs were crowned at the end of Monday's action, which marked the official end of the 2018 Regular Season. Check out these winners:
- La División Culantro Champ: Los Monos de Pepino (1), Tony Livernois
• La División de Berros Champ: Donde Esta Mi Cerveza (6), Tom Kinchus
• La División de Caña de Azúcar Champ: he Chuck Nasty Fan Club (4), Samuel Lewis
• La División de Jamaica Champ: Ben Carson's Woody (13), Rube Furrow
• La División de la Calabaza Champ: Dongwhipped (30), Kevin Klinkhamer
• La División de la Cebolla Verde Champ: Scoots Bigelow (7), Scott Allen
• Hitting Champ: Donde Esta Mi Cerveza (6), Tom Kinchus
• Pitching Champ: Ben Carson's Woody (13), Rube Furrow
• Regular Season Champ: Dongwhipped (30), Kevin Klinkhamer
Congratulations to Kevin Klinkhamer and to all our Regular Season champs!
(By the way, actual money winners will be announced at the end of the playoffs, after the Overall Champ is crowned.)
In Other News
Owners can no longer make any trades for the 2018 season.
More In Other News
The playoffs have begun, but today's spreadsheet does not reflect any playoff stats. It may take a day or two before we get the spreadsheet up and running.
Sill More In Other News
Y’all need to know how points are awarded during the Wild Card and Divisional Playoffs. Here’s how:
- Hitters earn 20 points for every home run hit
- Hitters lose 2 points for every K
- Pitchers earn 2 points for every K
- Pitchers lose 10 points for every homer surrendered
Good luck to all y’alls during the playoffs!
Anyway, we are headed to Columbus, OH and won't be back until late Wednesday night. Which means, it may not be until Thursday before we have the website up-and-running to close out the Regular Season and open up the playoffs. Sorry about that.
You knew the end of the season was near, right?
Well, then, you better start figuring out how you want to go in the playoffs. Which do you want going into the playoffs, a Regular Season roster, filled with players who aren't in the playoffs? or, a Playoffs roster, filled with playoff players?
How many trades do you have left? Another way of asking: How many trades have you already paid for that you haven’t yet used? Use ‘em! You already paid for them! What do you have to lose?
By the way, for the record, and with no debates from anybody for any reason: All trades must be submitted to us using this form by the last pitch of the last game played during the Regular Season.
Good luck for the remainder of the season!
Gotta any trades still left to be made?
You paid for those trades. Or earned a couple free ones. Why not use 'em?
So, uh, the Regular Season ends with the last pitch of the last Regular Season game on Monday — Monday?! Yes, Monday. — which means you should maybe start thinking about your playoff roster.
Gotta lotta trades still left to be made?
Well, then, load up on some players from playoff teams and see what happens.
You might be in 19th place Overall, but a good run by a bunch of playoff players no one else has on their rosters might propel you to the top spot.
You just never know.
Besides, you paid for those trades. Why not use 'em?
Okay, let's look at the video.
Uh, oh. I hope she didn't mean that video!
Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! kindly chicken lady. Can I ask that next time you be more specific, please? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Props to Reclaiming My Time co-owner Dan Klinkhamer for sending this along. Cool concept. Makes me all nostalgic and weepy for all the mitts I owned over the years. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! nostalgia and baseball. Next thing you know we'll be plowing down our corn field and driving to Boston in our VW minibus. I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!
DEVELOPING: WEED FOUND ALL THROUGHOUT USA, FOX DEEMS ALL AMERICANS OKAY TO BE SHOT AND KILLED IN THEIR OWN HOMES https://t.co/dCH22YKogN— Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) September 14, 2018
Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer just moved Into first place Overall, which is WTF?!-worthy because it has been a while since a team has moved into first place this late in the season. Usually, someone takes over first in, like, June, then holds the spot until we crown them Regular Season Champ. Not this year, though. We still don't know who's going to win the Regularly season. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! fantasy baseball gods. What have we done to deserve such an awesome fantasy baseball year? I mean, seriously, W?! T?! F?!