SLPL '17 SANTA LECHUGA POWER LEAGUE
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My Season, Thus Far, Part 7

Ehhhh, yepppp. Except, I don't know if I am the second guy trying to jump in the water or the three folks who get bowled over by him.
HMB while I impress these girls

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When Sea Lions Attack!!!

In this week's edition of Sunday Morning WTF?!, we listen in on a conversation a sea lion has with a mackerel shortly after trying to treat the tourist girl like a dog's chew toy …

"Hey, look," he says, "maybe I wasn't able to keep the girl, but for my efforts at least I got a nifty pair of new sunglasses. These will go great with my beard."
Sea lion grabs young girl off a pier.
Whiskey Tango Everloving Foxtrot, Nature, you can't just let sea lions go on being the big, dorky, lazy, loud, entertaining dogs of our oceans anymore?! I mean, seriously, W?! T?! Everloving?! F?!

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A Different Tactic

Buster Poser owner Joe Livernois replaced four-tenths of his hitting roster yesterday and said:

I've had it with these brain-dead sluggers. Let's give finesse, average and power a chance.


Finesse and average … in a power league … hmmm … well, this will be interesting. Tell us how that works out for you.

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We Are Back

We came back to a wave of trades from owners trying to drop players who have recently landed on the DL. Maddog's Maulers owner Mike Skoien commented:

Players are dropping like flies this year! May not have a full roster by All Star Break! I blame climate change, Russian hackers and/or George Bush, plus the false news in the media!


No one is feeling the pain more than Deeger's Dogs owner DJay Andersen, who traded for Freddie Freeman one day before Freeman was put on the DL. DJay promptly used his final paid trade to drop Freeman. It's been that type of season already.

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Going Dark for a Day

We're headed to North Carolina early morning tomorrow, so the stats and stands and blog won't be updated. Sorry folks. Things will be back to normal Friday.

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K-Fest

Maddog Mauler's owner Mike Skoien mentioned this story in a trade comment — Former Twins catcher Brian Harper whiffed less in two years than Cubs and Yankees did on Sunday — and said:

This is a few days old, but found it interesting after the recent Yankee-Cubs "K-fest". Would be interesting to look at this for other major league teams as well.


If someone does the legwork on this, please forward it along.

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Damnit

Welp, that sure is a cruddy way to start a week. So long, Powers Boothe.





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Sunday Morning WTH?! Hey, All You Mothers Out There

As we have in seasons past, we have decided to be respectful to all the mothers in this league for at least one day of the season by renaming our regular Sunday series “Sunday Morning WTF?!” in honor of Mother’s Day to “Sunday Morning WTH?!?!” As in, “What the heck?!” or, “Whiskey Tango Hotel?” Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there!

We have also decided to revive a league favorite, which former SLPL owner Scott “Scoot Bigs” Allen shared with us way back in ’11. Scott said that it is a tradition in his country of origin to celebrate Mother’s Day by dancing around a scooter. We didn’t believe him until we dug up this video on the Interwebs. (BTW, Scoot’s the one wearing jorts.)






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My Season, Thus Far, Part 6

Except, without all the speed.

Going 50 MPH on a boat, WCGW?

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My Season, Thus Far, Part 5

Uh huh.

The future

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My Season, Thus Far, Part 4

That's about right.

Carrida, the bull made an unimaginable

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Some Days I Love the Internet

This just tickles me.


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My Season, Thus Far, Part 3

Yep.


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My Season, Thus Far, Part 2

Take 2:


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My Season, Thus Far

For today's Sunday Morning WTF?!, my season thus far in one GIF:

My Season Thus Far

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, fantasy baseball season, why do you treat me so poorly? Why do you hate me so? I made the turn on Opening Day, such hope, such wonder, such enthusiasms. And then … that. That right there. Bam. Why do you want to Foxtrot me again and again and again and again and again and again and again, an endless loop of Foxtrotting? It's only May and I feel as though you're doing everything in your power to make me hate life, and then hate it again and again and again and again and again and again and again. Seriously? W?! T?! F?!

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Kayak Decapitation

Slow it down, Skippy!

Well this looks like a cool spoHOLY SHIT

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"Anybody Want a Peanut?"

This comes by way of Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer. Hoo-boy. Kevin's comment: "Whiskey! Tango! Foxtrot! Aaron Judge is a LARGE man."


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Bleep-Filled Tirades Are the Best Tirades

Another forward from Buster Poser owner Joe Livernois: Machado goes ballistic in epic rant.

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Exquisite Trolling

Forwarded by Buster Poser owner Joe Livernois: This American hero read about the Giants winning the World Series instead of watching from the front row. A thing of absolute beauty.

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The Baseball Gods? F 'Em!

Lots of injuries, lots of trades already this season … and league owners aren't happy. This from Maddog''s Maulers owner Mike Skoien on dropping Noah and Yoenis:

Time to clean house on NY Mets players as their training/conditioning staff seems to have taken a total leave of absence and is thus wreaking havoc on their roster after just a month of the season. Or, to quote one of them, "we don't need no stinking MRI's"….


Deegers Dogs owner DJay Andersen is taking a more wry, less peeved approach to the Noah drop:

Paxton is way easier to spell and his lat muscle works.


Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer, meanwhile, is letting his lifetime Mets fandom get the show through when dropping Noah from his SLPL roster:

Foxtrot the Baseball Gods this season...can't even enjoy this shit past May 1st!


We hear you, Kevin. The trades are coming fast and furious this season.

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Another Ruinous Existence Shared

Mar-a-Lago Orange Sox owner Joe Kelly ruined my day today by sharing this. I guess I have to ruin your day, too, since others appear to want to bring Hawk Harrelson's ruinous existence to other countries and sports.

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You Call It Rambling ... We Call It Entertaining and Insightful

For today's Sunday Morning WTF?!, we get a peak into the mind of second-year owner Ray Brennan of The Mighty Trepidators, who only yesterday submitted his first-ever trade, which may be an indication that he's paying attention this year. Here, let's have a peak, shall we?

Dear PR (Pedregoso Pos): Hunch time…. I want to switch out Adam Jones and replace him with Giancarlo Stanton with my virgin trade as team owner.

I know I’m carrying some slow starters in my HR crowd, but will stick with the rest for now, including my sentimental choice, Jose Abreu, who got his first two today as the AL Central first place White Sox won their 6th in a row. I’m regretting Schwarber, but am not ready to ditch him yet, as the Cubs hit better when the ivy is fully in leaf.

It’s tempting to go after Judge or Thames but I’m betting the former will cool off very soon and the latter will be suspended for drug use. I missed dumping Miguel Cabrera when he went on the DL, but the Sox-Tigers may be rained out tomorrow and MC is due back Tuesday and that would mean he’d miss just one more game, so I’ll save the trade. Then he’ll need to pick up his pace. It was a risk to pick Encarnacion given how awful the Tribe usually does in the free agent market, but he’s coming to life.

Being a negligent owner, I thought I had picked Bumgarner but I guess I don’t need to trade a pitcher who’s not even on my team. Too bad about his injury, though.

Thanks for enduring my rambling, but please register my trade. Gracias, Imperial Leader!


What we just witnessed was the best trade submission this season. Hell, maybe of any season.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Ray Brennan, where they hell have you been? You couldn't submit your "ramblings," which we call astute, entertaining analysis, once a week or so? Seriously? W?! T?! F?!

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Gotta Love a Great Comeback

This had to be fun to watch. Despise the Yankees, but love a great comeback.

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This Needs a Signal Boost

Important message!


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Kelsey Plum's Got An Arm

She throws like a girl.


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Acrobatic Headfirst Dive

Oh. My.

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Raiding Comments in Owner Trades

Madison Bumgarner goes on the DL and Mar-a-Lago Orange Sox owner Joe Kelly says, "Surprised they didn't say he was washing Jeff Kent's truck…" Heh.

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This Bit of Fun is Fun

Seen on Alternative Stats owner Marcus Rochellle's Facebook wall recently:


And here's the link to the story.

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Wallygator Has limited Vision

For today's Sunday Morning WTF?!, we watch as Wallygator does what he can to prevent a kid from getting bonked in the noggin only to get bonked in his own:

When a gator saves your life then you save his

But today's WTF?! doesn't go to Wallygator, who actually made a valiant effort to help the kid. Instead, check out the dude in the white shirt sitting in front of him. That has to be about the weakest, sorriest, non-beer-holding foul ball effort I have ever witnessed. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, front-row-sitting, weak-sauce, pathetic white guy? You couldn't stand up and lean back to catch the foul ball? You make me sad to share a species with you. Seriously? W?! T?! F?!

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Plugging In a USB Every. Single. Time.

I wish I could give credit for this, but I haven't been able to track the original creator down. This. Is. The. Best.


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