A Final Note from the Commish, Rube Furrow


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

Hola Fellow Lechugans:

As the mayor of Santa Lechuga and the SLPL Commissioner, I wanted to thank you all for helping the Santa Lechuga Power League to become the best damn no-nonsense roto league in the country. Look where you want, but only the SLPL emphasized the only statistics that really matter in baseball: HRs and Ks.

It's been a wild ride and both me and Pedregoso Rios, league veep, have enjoyed the 56 years we've spent running this league. But all weird things eventually come to an end, and this weird thing has officially ended as of now.

For one thing, it's a lot of work and a lot of math and a lot of spreadsheets and headaches. For another more important thing, neither Pedregoso nor I have ever won this damn thing. So we were doing all this work, distributing all this money, and none of it ever came our way. So WTF. Why were we doing this anyway? Also, the bulldozers are ripping out Santa Lechuga Stadium to make room for the long-awaited HUD Housing Project next week.

Huge props to Pedregoso, aka my brother Tony, who juggled all the fine details for all these years. He was the keeper of the stats, keeper of the santa-lechuga.com and keeper of the blog. He was also the Head Cheerleader, Equipment Manager and Jock Washer. It was a Herculean effort and he did a great job. Thank you, Tony. You're the best.

Finally, congratulations to this year's winners. I've still got a bit of accounting work to do, but please let me know how you'd like me to send your winnings. Because the size of individual winnings are a bit higher this year, we've got to be a bit more flexible about distribution of winnings. I can do PayPal and I can send checks. Depending on the instructions I get from all of you, I might have to make alternative arrangements, but I won't know until I hear from all of you. So Derrek, Jack, D.Jay, Bill, Mike and Scott: Send me your preferences when you can.

And to the rest of you, next time you're in Monterey County, come see us at the city of Santa Lechuga, If you get here in the next couple of weeks, you'll be able to visit Santa Lechuga Stadium before it gets bulldozed. And of course no visit to our fair city is complete without a tour of Mission Nuestra Señora de la Lechuga.

Sincerely,

Rube Furrow
Mayor
Santa Lechuga

Standings | See the 2021 Rules | Pay Your Entry Fee

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Derrek Kiker Wins Jim Cummings Cup, Crowned Overall Champ of EPIC FINAL SEASON


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

The rookie wasn't messing around. Where most newbies join the league all starry-eyed and wondrous, barely ready to field a team that has a positive number of points before the season ends, Derrek Kiker joined the 2021 EPIC FINAL SEASON of the Santa Lechuga Power League all confident. And premonitious. The following is an actual quote from the smack talk section of his submitted roster:

"It's going to feel good being the rookie who takes it all!"

I mean, who does that? In a bizarre, bespoke, unique, very specific, dopey little fantasy baseball league with 22 seasons under its now-incredibly-worn beer belly belt, this Kiker guy, a complete unknown and anonymous nobody out of nowhere, a friend of past-champ Paul Martin, waltzed in and dominated the league. On Sunday Derrek Kiker's Sactown Sluggers and Aces were crowned the 2021 Overall Champion of the Santa Lechuga Power League.

Scores of past-champs and other veterans were ready to show the snot-nosed brat a thing or two, only to be turned away by the guy who gave himself a moniker that stuck: The Rookie Who Took It All. That's gotta feel good.

Another thing for him to feel good about? Long-beleaguered League Commissioner Rube Furrow will hand over one of those funny outsized checks with funny outsized winnings of $1,730, the single largest payday to a single individual in league history, which is completely apropos of an EPIC FINAL SEASON! Kiker also won the Hitting Championship and La División de Burritos Championship. That’s just an incredible season. Dare I say, epic?

One past-champ didn't let Sunday go without asserting a bit of flex of his own. Defending going-for-the-threepeat Overall Champ D.Jay Andersen Saturday night submitted five pitching trades — all starters in today's final Regular Season games — which propelled his Deeger's Dogs from 300 points down to 2,100 points up to win the Pitching Championship. It was a darned deft move that gave the final day of the season a bit of unexpected drama.

Here are all the Official Champs for the EPIC FINAL SEASON of the Santa Lechuga Power League.

  • Overall Champ: Derrek Kiker, Sactown Sluggers and Aces
  • Hitting Champ: Derrek Kiker, Deeger's Dogs
  • Pitching Champ: D.Jay Andersen, Deeger's Dogs
  • La División Quesadilla Champ: Bill Cunning, 1 Flew Over the Crooked Fence
  • La División de Tacos Champ: Jack Tripp, SandyEggo Padres
  • La División de Tamales Champ: Mike Skoien, Maddog's Maulers

And here are the final money winners.

$1,740
  • Derrek Kiker, Sactown Sluggers and Aces, for Overall Champ

$550
  • Jack Tripp, SandyEggo Padres, for La División de Tacos Champ ($250) and for next deserving team in Hitting performance ($300)*

$300
  • D.Jay Andersen, Deeger's Dogs, Pitching Champ

$250
  • Bill Cunning, 1 Flew Over the Crooked Fence, La División Quesadilla Champ
  • Mike Skoien, Maddog's Maulers, for La División de Tamales Champ
  • Scott Allen, Scoot Bigs, for next most deserving performance across all Divisions*

*Remember, the Overall Champ can only win monies for that championship; those monies are then given to the next deserving team in that category.

Congratulations to all our champs and money winners. Most of all, congratulations to Derrek Kiker for winning the the Jim Cummings Cup, which was named after the 2005 Overall Champ who died in 2013 and is given each year in honor of winning the Overall SLPL Championship. The Jim Cummings Cup is a coffee cup and not an athletic cup, though league head honchos long re-considered that choice given that Jim was said to be an excellent ballplayer.

Thanks to all your for joining us this final season. It's been a wild and weird 23 seasons and it’s been a blast to have you as a part of it.

Finally, be on the lookout for a message from our Commish, Rube Furrow. When he awakens from his completely unexpected end-of-season stupor, I'm sure he'll want to share some thoughts about the end of the season and about the end of the league.

-30-

Standings | See the 2021 Rules | Pay Your Entry Fee

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The 2021 Season, The Whole Dopey League … It (Likely) Ends Today


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

Hey SLPL Owners,

The 2021 Santa Lechuga Power League season — indeed, the whole darned dopey league, all 23 years of it — it ends today, Sunday, October 3, with the final pitch of the final game of the regular season. Unless, of course, the two best teams in the MLB inexplicably end up in a one-game tiebreaker or some other weird tiebreaker scenario happens, our season and the whole darned dopey league will end on Monday or Tuesday. But you get the idea. The end is very near.

Bizarre, right?

When we announced that this would be the EPIC FINAL SEASON, we knew this was it, the last song on the album, the second heel of the loaf of bread, the last pea in the can, the last pee in the ol’ try-to-avoid-other-men's-eyes-while-you-tinker-in-the-eight-inning-at-the-horseshoe-urinals at Wrigley Field. But October came around and we suddenly remembered we weren’t doing playoffs this season and — in the words of late owner Richard “Pop” Livernois -- “WOWEE!,” we saw that it was almost truly-and-for-honestly over.

It’s a bit hard to believe.

Anyways …

Look here for news about our winners and such when the regular season is really over. We have a massive pot to distribute. And if you are getting a cut of that pot, we hope you will think fondly of us as you buy the bar a round.

Standings | See the 2021 Rules | Pay Your Entry Fee

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Humming Along Nicely Nicely


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

So things are humming along nicely this season. Teams are earning points. Standings are changing from day to day. And my Monos are pretty near last place, which is a comforting locale as I have spent many a seasons down that way.

Anyway, if you haven't yet claimed your team at RotoWire, check it out using the directions below. The advantages? You can see others' trades and rosters. You can see up-to-minute standings. You can see projections for who will be in first place at the end of the season. You get the idea.

We hope you have settled into the new season well. As always, give us a shout if you have any questions.

Tony Livernois has invited you to join RotoWire Baseball League - SLPL 2021.

To join this league, you must have a RotoWire username.

If you currently have a RotoWire username and password, then claim a team at: https://www.rotowire.com/mlbcommish21/find-league.php

Make sure to use the following league name and password below to find your league:
League Name: SLPL 2021
League Password: bobblehead

If you do not have a RotoWire username, register at: https://www.rotowire.com/subscribe/create-account.php

Once you have created a username then you can follow the directions above.

If you have any questions about the process, please go here: https://www.rotowire.com/mlbcommish21/username-info.php

Standings | See the 2021 Rules | Pay Your Entry Fee

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2021 SLPL Standings Finally Posted


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

We have been busting butt to get the website up and running, and it’s been a slog. Having said that, we do have standings posted here: http://www.santa-lechuga.com/. As you’ll see, Blood Bath Ann Beyonce owner Ann Stockberger jumped out to to a big early lead on the backs of seven home runs. And because every home run is worth 1,000 points this season, she’s got, like, a 4,000+ lead.

Look at that, an epic final season already!

Anyway, the dust hasn’t completely settled at the website yet, so it may be on and offline over the coming days. Fair warning.

One last thing! I will soon be sending everyone a link to another website, our stats provider, so you can view up-to-the-minute standings, projections, other teams’ rosters, and transactions. I figured, why replicate what I can just point you to? If you an email from RotoWire, please don’t delete it.
Anyway, hit me up with questions.

And good luck this season!

Standings | See the 2021 Rules | Pay Your Entry Fee

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Message from the SLPL Commissioner

slpl_glacial

As those of us who root for the San Francisco Giants know by now, if winter is behind us and spring has sprung, it’s time to turn our attention to late-night bullpen meltdowns. Which is to say that baseball has returned. Which is also to say that great teams with strong pitching staffs are playing somewhere, but definitely not in the vicinity of the Bay Bridge.

But I digress.

Because the best news about springing springs and last month’s winter is that it means the Santa Lechuga Power League has returned.

And as you know by now, the 2021 season will be the final year for SLPL. Now, many of you have asked us why we’re hanging it up after more than six decades of quality baseball nitwittery. We thought long and hard about that, and we really didn’t come up with anything until Commissioner Rube Furrow was dinking around with Canva to create the logo at the top of this message. You see that typeface up there? The one that says “Santa Lechuga Power League” above the bobbleheads? You know what font that is? It’s called “Glacial Indifference.” And suddenly Commissioner Rube Furrow said to himself, “Why, that’s it! That’s why we’re dismantling the league at the end of the season! Glacial Indifference!

Your commissioner, Rube Furrow, has been with the Santa Lechuga Power League from the get-go. Over the years he’s had to juggle his duties as baseball commissioner and as mayor of the beautiful mission town of Nuestra Senora de la Lechuga, home of the Santa Lechuga Dust Devils. As you know if you’ve spent any time in this league, the Dust Devils won the national E-Division championship back in 1969, back when Santa Lechuga was affiliated with the Seattle Pilots.

Anywho, the SLPL front office wants everybody to know that we’ve got 24 teams signed up for this year’s final season. And we welcome all y’all. We love the team names and we think you’re all the cat’s meow.

Please know that our Director of Operations, Hawk Gandy, promises to have the SLPL Epic Final Season website up and functional just as soon as he can shake last week’s drunk.

Yours in Glacial Indifference,

Rube Furrow
Commissioner (1967-present)
Santa Lechuga Power League

Standings | See the 2021 Rules | Pay Your Entry Fee

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The 2021 Season Has Officially Begun!


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

The EPIC FINAL SEASON! of the Santa Lechuga Power League has officially begun. And, weirdly, in our 22nd season — we began in 2000 — we have 22 teams. Strike that. We missed two teams! We have 24 teams!

22 Teams


That's cool and symmetrical and EPIC! Because everything is EPIC in our final season.

With 22 teams, our base pot will be $2100, with the remaining $100 going to fund DJay "Going for the Three-peat" Andersen because he was the champ the past two years and never really got his just due for winning two seasons ago. And while $2100 is beefy enough to spread around to like Overall, Hitting, Pitching, and Division champs, the pot will only grow as owners EPICALLY over-react to minor injuries and make needlessly bad trades for mirage players who hit four homers in first two weeks only to suddenly go cold. Because that's the kind of league this is.

Did we say EPIC? Well, point values are EPIC this season. You get 1000 points for a single home run. You lose 500 points for surrendering a home run. It will be crazy, like a freakin' arcade-game-crazy. Except, I suspect, my Monos. Somehow my Monos never seem to light up the scoreboard.

Anyway, good luck to one and all! Hold tight … things are busy with work right now so it might legit be several days before we get this operation fully up-and-running. While we get our act together, here are some MLB links — also found in the menu bar up top — you might find useful throughout the season:


Enjoy the season, the EPIC FINAL SEASON! of the Santa Lechuga Power League!

See the 2021 Rules | Pay Your Entry Fee

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The 2021 SLPL Season Is About To Launch


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

Getchyer roster in, STAT!

See the 2021 Rules | Submit a Roster | Pay Your Entry Fee | Adjust a Submitted Roster Here

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ICYMI: One Final Season


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls:

After careful consideration, the brain trust at the Santa Lechuga Power League have determined that the 2021 season will be SLPL's swan song. This is the final lap, the farewell performance, the end of an era, the death on the vine.

It's been a good run, sure, but it has run its course. The kids just aren't into baseball anymore, what with so many other distractions to occupy their time these days. Like video games and torrid, free-wheeling sex. Not only that, but your faithful league commissioner, Rube Furrow, is getting too old for this shit, and the Santa Lechuga City Council voted earlier this year to pull all funding for the maintenance of Endive Stadium.

So we're going one more round, taking the bus for one last trip, before we ride off into the metaphorical sunset. Our final season will start soon. This year we're running a slightly different format. The highlights:

  • Entry fee is $100, which comes with eight free trades during the season.
  • Teams will be assessed an additional $10 for every trade after their eight free transactions.
  • Teams will select 10 hitters, and five pitchers.
  • The season will end at the end of the regular MBL season, with no All-Star or playoff matches or Hall-of-Fame death pool.
  • Winners will include League Overall Championship, division winners, batting point leaders and pitching point leaders.

Also this year, to commemorate the 97 years SLPL has been running organized baseball leagues, Rube Furrow has promised to send an occasional newsletter to team ownership groups that will describe SLPL's rich history.

So start your scouting operations, get your teams in order and run over to http://www.santa-lechuga.com/. The SLPL Director of Operations, Hawk "Fungo" Gandy, promises he will update the site just as soon as he sleeps off last year's drunk.

Let's Play Ball!

Rube Furrow
SLPL Commissioner

See the 2021 Rules | Submit a Roster | Pay Your Entry Fee | Adjust a Submitted Roster Here

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FAQ About Paying Entry Fees Up Front


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

Question: I love that we are asking owners to pay up front. Doing it the last several seasons got rid of the half-assers and left the league to folks who really want to play. Question, though: You say the entry fee covers the ownership fee and up to eight trades. If I don't use all eight trades, can I expect a refund at the end of the season?
Ha ha ha. No. We encourage an active ownership group that's vying to win, not half-assers who sit around waiting for refunds because they forgot to use their trades. Use 'em or lose 'em, baby. Use 'em or lose 'em.

Question: What are the downsides of asking owners to pay $100 up front?
None that we can think of.

Question: Upsides?
In addition to the fact that Commissioner Rube Furrow won't need to pull monies out of his own pockets each year to pay the winners, the league ends up with a higher proportion of owners who are real players and a lower proportion of apathetic owners who always seemed to be the ones who skip out on paying what they owe if they don't pay up front. So, nothing but upside.

Question: How do I submit a team and pay my entry fee?
That's the spirit! Submit a roster here. Pay your entry fee here.

See the 2021 Rules | Submit a Roster | Pay Your Entry Fee | Adjust a Submitted Roster Here

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In A World Without Decent Fantasy Baseball...


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

This video is now several years old, but we still love it. So much drama! So much action! So many drunk people! Now, these knuckleheads just need to sober up ...



The key takeaway? That the Santa Lechuga Power League fills the gaping vacuum in the universe known as “decent fantasy baseball.” How could you possibly not join?

By the way, where you see the date in the video for March 23, 2011? Yeah, ignore that. Think April 1, 2021 instead. This Thursday. That's when you need to have your rosters to us for this EPIC FINAL SEASON!

See the 2021 Rules | Submit a Roster | Pay Your Entry Fee | Adjust a Submitted Roster Here

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Top Reasons to Join the EPIC FINAL SEASON! of the SLPL


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

TL/DR (Too Long Didn't Read) version: We have a bevy of reasons to join the Santa Lechuga Power League. Getchyer rosters in by April 1, 2021.

Now, the details:

While there are literally thousands of reasons to join the Santa Lechuga Power League -- since 2001 there have been over $52,000 reasons -- we have listed several of our favorite reasons, which you can find by clicking on these words.

Remember, you have until Thursday, April 1, first pitch of the first game, to submit your roster. Grab your spot quick-like by using the form linked to these words.

Good luck picking your roster!

See the 2021 Rules | Submit a Roster | Pay Your Entry Fee | Adjust a Submitted Roster Here

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Why Choose the Santa Lechuga Power League?


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

Our league's history explains why you should choose our baseball fantasy league over all other fantasy leagues:

“The SLPL is a fantasy baseball league for baseball fans who actually have a life and don't have the time to track daily statistics, make 2:00 a.m. trades, or worry about whether or not Julio Franco's pulled groin muscle will keep his on-base percentage low …

“Team owners could choose their teams at the beginning of the year, sit back, and watch to see how they did. No tedious stats tracking. No negotiating with fellow owners to try to swap shortstops. No geeking out …

“The league made it easy for lazy owners to sit back and do nothing for an entire season, a comfort enjoyed by many actual Major League Baseball owners.”


Oh, and we have doled out over $52,000 in winnings since 2001. That's another good reason.

The 2021 season will be our EPIC FINAL SEASON!, so come join the fun before we close up shop. Rosters are due at first pitch next Thursday, April 1, 2021. Opening day, baby!

See the 2021 Rules | Submit a Roster | Pay Your Entry Fee | Adjust a Submitted Roster Here

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Join the SLPL In Five Easy Steps


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

The Santa Lechuga Power League is a campy little fantasy baseball league heading off into the long goodbye after the 2021 season is over. It’s no slick-CBS-Sportsline-type league where nobody knows anybody and everybody just wants to end up in the 51st-percentile or above to get bragging rights over a bunch of strangers. I mean, who brags to strangers? Instead, the SLPL is made up of family and friends and extended family and friends of brothers Joe Livernois and Tony Livernois, who run the thing for their own amusement and for the amusement of said family and friends and extended family and friends. And because Jay (as his family knows him) and Tony are simple-minded goofs, they run a simple, goofy little league with big-time payouts. Points are earned using home runs and strikeouts. That's it.

If you’re thinking about joining, here are five basic steps you need to complete to become a new owner:

  1. Learn the rules. Abide.
  2. See the payouts. Drool.
  3. Select your team and submit your roster. Good luck!
  4. Pay already. Like, before Opening Day so you can earn two free trades.
  5. Contact us. But only with compliments or questions. No whining. We hate whining. We hate whining so much that we almost sound like we are whining when we express how much we hate whining.

Plan on joining us in 2021 — our EPIC FINAL SEASON! — wontchya? Before saying no, see this list of reasons to join. Maybe that'll convince you.

And if you’re looking for a little light reading once the season gets started, why not catch up on the History of the SLPL or read up on the evil Bobblehead-of-Lettuce?

We hope you can join!

See the 2021 Rules | Submit a Roster | Pay Your Entry Fee | Adjust a Submitted Roster Here

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The 2021 Season Is Eight Days Away!


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

The 2021 Santa Lechuga Power League season — the epic final season — begins in nine days ! We hope that your offseason was memorable, that your family is well, and that you missed us enough to want to join the 2021 season. And if you didn’t miss us that much, we understand, but since this is the epic final season you will have lots of time to miss us in the future.

As mentioned in Commissioner Rube Furrow's recent announcement, there are a few changes this year. This season will be most like our first season of the modern era, way back in 2000, in that it will be over when the Regular Season is over. Which means, no sideshows like All Stars or Playoffs. Our Regular Season Champ will be our Overall Champ. And that will be that.

Summarizing how the year will run:

  • The entry fee is $100, which must be paid in full up front. This covers your ownership fees ($20) and your first eight trades at $10 per ($80). If you don’t use a trade, you lose it; there will be no refunds.
  • If you pay your entry fee of $100 before the first pitch on Opening Day, April 1, 2021, you will earn two free trades.
  • If you don't pay your $100 entry fee before the season begins, you will have until April 14, 2021 to pay it. If we haven't received full payment from you by then, you will be deleted from the league. Divisions will be created after owner deletions have been made.
  • For every new owner you recruit into the league, up to three, you will earn a free trade.
  • After you have made all paid and free trades due to you, you can make an unlimited amount of trades, though each will cost you $10.
  • Trades go into effect on the day after you submit the trade or the day after we receive payment, whichever is latest.
  • There will be no Hall-of-Fame Death Pool.

One last thing: Here's how points will be awarded for our Epic Final Season:
  • If your hitter hits a home run, he will earn 1000 points
  • If your hitter strikes out, he will lose 100 points
  • If your pitcher throws a K, he will earn 100 points
  • If your pitcher gives up a home run, he will lose 500 points

We told you this was epic. Everything's proportional to previous seasons, but it just FEELS bigger when the points are multiplied like that, amirite?

Here are some key links:

As always, we're always an email away if you have questions or comments.

We hope you can join us again for a nifty EPIC FINAL SEASON of our dopey little fantasy baseball league.

And you folks who have been off the radar for a while: Come join us again. We’d love to have you back. Remember, you’ll have plenty of time to miss us in the future.

See the 2021 Rules | Submit a Roster | Pay Your Entry Fee | Adjust a Submitted Roster Here

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One Final Season


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls:

After careful consideration, the brain trust at the Santa Lechuga Power League have determined that the 2021 season will be SLPL's swan song. This is the final lap, the farewell performance, the end of an era, the death on the vine.

It's been a good run, sure, but it has run its course. The kids just aren't into baseball anymore, what with so many other distractions to occupy their time these days. Like video games and torrid, free-wheeling sex. Not only that, but your faithful league commissioner, Rube Furrow, is getting too old for this shit, and the Santa Lechuga City Council voted earlier this year to pull all funding for the maintenance of Endive Stadium.

So we're going one more round, taking the bus for one last trip, before we ride off into the metaphorical sunset. Our final season will start soon. This year we're running a slightly different format. The highlights:

  • Entry fee is $100, which comes with eight free trades during the season.
  • Teams will be assessed an additional $10 for every trade after their eight free transactions.
  • Teams will select 10 hitters, and five pitchers.
  • The season will end at the end of the regular MBL season, with no All-Star or playoff matches or Hall-of-Fame death pool.
  • Winners will include League Overall Championship, division winners, batting point leaders and pitching point leaders.

Also this year, to commemorate the 97 years SLPL has been running organized baseball leagues, Rube Furrow has promised to send an occasional newsletter to team ownership groups that will describe SLPL's rich history.

So start your scouting operations, get your teams in order and run over to http://www.santa-lechuga.com/. The SLPL Director of Operations, Hawk "Fungo" Gandy, promises he will update the site just as soon as he sleeps off last year's drunk.

Let's Play Ball!

Rube Furrow
SLPL Commissioner

See the 2021 Rules | Submit a Roster | Pay Your Entry Fee | Adjust a Submitted Roster Here

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Yes, There Will Be a 2021 SLPL


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce

Wait for more announcements soon.

See the 2021 Rules | Submit a Roster | Pay Your Entry Fee | Adjust a Submitted Roster Here

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