Twenty-eight teams took an early 250-point lead in the All-Star standings, which raises the question: "How the ever-loving eff do only 28 SLPL teams have Bryce Harper?!" Sure, he's not leading the league in HRs and he strikes out at an incredibly uncomfortable rate — Christ, is it possible he has 102 Ks already?!?! — but he's still a net positive of +127 so far this season, so, you know, he has that going for him. Oh, and the 2018 Derby trophy.
Who am I to talk? I'm sitting in third place in La División Culantro.
More All-Star fun Tuesday night, after which will will crown our first championship of the season and hand out a $200 prize.
By the way, we're traveling tomorrow, which means we may not be able to announce the winner and update the website until Thursday morning. Sorry about that, folks.
If you are unfamiliar, or just don't remember, here are the rules for the SLPL’s All-Star Championship, which will be crowned at the conclusion of the All-Star game Tuesday night:
How do I score points for the All-Star Standings?
During the Home Run Derby...
- If a player on your roster wins the All-Star Home Run Derby, your team picks up 250 points
During the All-Star Game...
- Hitters earn 150 points for every home run hit
- Hitters lose 25 points for every K
- Pitchers earn 25 points for every K
- Pitchers lose 75 points for every homer surrendered
The team with the most combined points — Home Run Derby points plus All-Star Game points — will win the All-Star Championship.
BTW, points earned in this category are allocated exclusively to the All-Star Standings and are not allocated to the Overall Standings.
First up? Tonight's Home Run Derby, worth 250 points.
They just can't help being craven heinous idiots.
With all the shitty things going on in the world, it's important to remember that humans can be pretty amazing when they have to be.— Stonekettle (@Stonekettle) July 8, 2018
The first group of kids is this morning safely out of the cave. https://t.co/DeYa20tgcW
Photo from Babes Love Baseball
Second for the 4th, as is our want and tradition, below is our favorite 4th of July video, one we love a whole bunch but really love because of this lyric: “I wrote a poem on a dog biscuit | And your dog refused to look at it | So I got drunk and looked at the Empire State Building | It was no bigger than a nickel …” Check this out:
Third for the 4th, here is SLPL Commissioner Rube Furrow (aka, Joe Livernois) giving it his best while conducting a rousing rendition of "Stars and Stripes Forever" with the Monterey Bay Symphony back in 2009:
Fourth for the 4th, we love this crowd-sourced video:
By way of Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer in the Twitterverse (catch him at @kpklink78), we got a message saying "Not on consecutive pitches like the guy in Oakland, but still unbelievable this has occurred twice in one half of a season."
Baseball is a game of redemption.
Way to make the play! (The second time 😬)
📽:@Cut4 pic.twitter.com/N51AxeYQqg— Yahoo Sports (@YahooSports) June 30, 2018
The Nazis never saw themselves as villains.— Stonekettle (@Stonekettle) June 18, 2018
You look at the horrible atrocities they committed and you think they MUST have known they were the monsters.
But they didn't.
Instead, the Nazis thought they themselves were the VICTIMS.
29 years and nine months ago I registered to vote and became a member of The Republican Party which was founded in 1854 to oppose slavery and stand for the dignity of human life. Today I renounce my membership in the Republican Party. It is fully the party of Trump.— Steve Schmidt (@SteveSchmidtSES) June 20, 2018
It's a topsy-turvy world when we quote a priest, especially on Father's Day, but, I mean, he is a father. And he speaks truth. Read his whole Twitter thread below. Enjoy the other Tweets while you're at it.
Anyway, idiots, all the spineless and cowardly GOP senators and representatives who are allowing this to happen are complete complete and total idiots. So, too, is every single person who deludes themselves into thinking they hold any moral high ground while still supporting these heinous idiots in this administration who are creating concentration camps for children of desperate people seeking asylum. Whiskey?! Tango?! Foxtrot?! you absolute Foxtrotting, lowlife imbeciles. Seriously, W?! T?! F?!
Like many, I've resisted using this word but it's time: the deliberate and unnecessary separation of innocent children from their parents is pure evil. It does not come from God or from any genuinely moral impulse. It is wantonly cruel and targets the most vulnerable. 1/— James Martin, SJ (@JamesMartinSJ) June 18, 2018
Now @SpeakerRyan imagine Liza frozen in terror alone in a warehouse, Charlie tearing at the pants of a stranger as he screams for his mom, and Sam wrapped in a scratchy blanket sobbing on a cold slab of concrete. Happy Father’s Day. https://t.co/Zpt8jmchik— Carole Barrowman (@BarrowmanCrime) June 17, 2018
Not 1 Republican! Not one Republican will stand against the savage tearing away of children from their childhoods. Not 1 Republican. You lowlife, ugly, subhuman waste. You disgrace your country for all time... https://t.co/nPPzj6sYOc— Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 18, 2018
Eleanor Roosevelt was too busy fighting segregation, writing a syndicated column for 30 years, earning 35 honorary degrees and flying with Amelia Earhart but cool that we finally have a First Lady who never talks but has perfect eyebrows. https://t.co/Z7wh0O35l0— Daniel Kibblesmith
Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already
It's hard enough to catch 1 foul ball.— Cut4 (@Cut4) June 10, 2018
Imagine catching 2 in the same game on CONSECUTIVE pitches. pic.twitter.com/jFwHWLkZ22