SLPL '19 Home

What A Wonderful Idea

Tip of the ballcap to Maddog's Maulers owner Mike Skoien for sending us this link with the comment "More home runs and strikeouts! Somebody should create a fantasy league around that model!!" Good sir, I believe you might be onto something there. Let's throw a committee at the idea.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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To the Left, to the Left

Fun.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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What Sport Are We Playing?

In some circumstances, it makes sense to punt.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Drop Everything

Tip of the ballcap to Uncle Vanya's Morphine's owner Joe Livernois for sending us this story, filed under the heading "At Least You're Not This Guy."

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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The Best Player You Never Saw

It's an old article, but complete worthy read (or re-read).

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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New Normal?

Good question.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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That's Sierraload, Good Sir

Tip of the ballcap to Maddog's Maulers owner Mike Skoien for sending us this link (which may be behind a paywall) and saying "Article from Friday's Washington Post has important information for SLPL owners: 1) MLB players are hitting a ****load of homers at a record pace, 2) Do not own a pitcher from the Baltimore Orioles, and of course 3) The ball is "juiced," or, according to this article it has a lower drag coefficient making it fly farther ... duh!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Ozuna Or Later

That didn't go as planned, did it?


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Privileged

Man, what an essay by Kyle Korver.

Meanwhile, here's the reaction from a great number of white people when asked to listen:


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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That's Some Real Bull Sierra

My last week in the SLPL.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Plumbing the Depths

What it was like being a Cleveland Indians fan in the 1970s and 1980s.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Craven Bastard

Oh! Hey! Look! It's the POS who who just keeps S-ing on everything!


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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"Major League" Is 30?!?!

In the first episode of this season's Sunday Morning Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, we are told that the movie "Major League" is 30 years old. W?! T?! F?! Holy, hell!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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"Literally Us, the Blue Jays"

Excuse us while we spend the rest of our Friday laughing our assess off.


Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Uni Watch

Maddog's Maulers owner Michael Skoien sent this cool article to us before the season kicked off, but we thought it was too good not to share. He said, "This might be a nostalgic and somewhat irreverent read during March Madness as we prepare for the kickoff of BASEBALL!!" Thanks, Michael!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Make That Five

Five trades are in the books now in this early season, and better than the fact that we have a hungry group of owners is that said same owners are also bitter and carrying a chip on their shoulders. For example, Ochre Sox owner Ray Brennan said about his trade: "Stanton goes on the DL, which in this case means Disabled List, not the Down Low. What the frick is it with these 'jocks' (do they even wear them anymore??) and their injuries? Maybe the teams ought to hire trainers and doctors and purchase exercise equipment to keep these tender little flowers in playing shape."

Ah, yes, that's the seething bitterness we so love.

Meanwhile, Dongwhpped owner Kevin Klinkhamer had this to say about his trade: "First time I take Stanton to begin a year and it only took him a weekend to turn into a foxtrotting clown."

Yes, please, more of that.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Four Trades Already

Remember what we said yesterday about istilled Awesomeness">awesomeness distilled? About enhanced competition? Yeah, well, with only a weekend's worth of games in the can, three owners have already made trades. Which is to say, this league ain't messing around. If you want to compete, you've gotta use some trades!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Distilled Awesomeness

If you missed it yesterday, our website is up-and-running! Yay, right? That means our stats and standings are all up to date, so check 'em out.

Anyway, given that we have a smaller league — distilled awesomeness, is what we like to call it — we have had to make a few adjustments, as you might've imagined. With eight fewer teams for a total of 28, we elected to have four divisions of seven teams, which eliminates two division payouts and cranks up the competition, big time. We have also adjusted the various and sundry lower-level payouts to make sure our Regular Season and Overall Champs are getting the hefty coin to which they've become accustomed. Here's how we're spreading the purse as of today:

The 2019 Pot


We're doing all of this in a vacuum, though, so feel free to give us your commentary. If you think we should be approaching things differently, let us know with an impassioned, though not whiny, message using the form at this link. We believe we can be reasoned with, so be reasonable. And not whiny. We hate whiny.

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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We're Up and Running!

Our website is up-and-running!

Our stats and standings are up-and-running! As before, we are using a mambo-jumbo spreadsheet that is converted to a webpage, so look for the tabs at the bottom of the page to navigate the various pages of information, including how our sweet pot is calculated and distributed.

Please do us a favor and go to the Rosters tab to take a look-see at your roster. What are you checking for? To make sure we didn’t bungle anything, which is wicked-easy to do when you’re manually entering 15 players for 28 teams players. If we made a mistake, let us know by making a trade here and explaining our mistake in the Message at the bottom of that page.

Once again, welcome to the 2019 Santa Lechuga Power League! Good luck!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Welcome to the 2019 Santa Lechuga Power League!

Thanks for joining the 2019 edition of the Santa Lechuga Power League! You will be happy to know:
  • We have 28 teams, a dip from recent seasons, which means the deadweight of lazy, apathetic, struggling owners from previous seasons is gone and the competition is more concentrated
  • Given the above, this should be a tough, hard-fought, awesome season!
  • We have a healthy $2800 pot to kick things off
  • Our website — you are looking at it right now — along with our stats and standings will be fully up-and-running early next week (sorry about that folks, but we're headed to Michigan for the weekend and won't be able to work on league-related things until we get back)
Here are the standings from our stats provider through yesterday's big Opening Day:

Opening Day 2

Welcome to the 2019 SLPL! Good luck. We really hope you enjoy the five-cent Tequila Poppers and our trademarked Cabbage-On-a-Stick!

Standings and Stats . Make A Trade . Pay Already

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Kathy Lamkin Crowned 2019 SLPL HOF Death Pool Champ!

Hey, look at us! We give out money when the season begins!

With the first pitch of today’s first game, Make Fantasy Baseball Great Again! owner Kathy Lamkin was officially* crowned the 2018 winner of the Phil Rizzuto Memorial Hall-of-Fame Death Pool, thereby officially closing out the 2018 season. “I would like to thank Red Schoendienst and Frank Robinson for allowing me to scrape $225 out of the pot. I didn't want them to die, but, look, we all die. I'm sure Red and Frank would be happy to know their deaths went to a good cause,” Kathy said after being crowned champ. “And before you get all mad at me for saying that, look, I'm getting ready to move. Every dollar I earn means a lot to me.”

*When we say "officially," we mean that as of right now we know of no other Hall-of-Famers who died before today’s first pitch since Frank Robinson walked into the Iowa cornfields in February. If news stories come through that someone kicked it before this afternoon’s games, we'll have to revise our officialness status and see what shakes out.

For Those Interested In Such Things
Here’s how the Hall-of-Fame Death Pool points are scored: Points are earned by subtracting the reported age of the dirt-napper at the time of his death (rounded down to the most-recent birthday) from 100 and multiplying the result by 5. So:
• An 80-year-old would get 100-80=20*5=100 points.
• A 40-year-old would get 100-40=60*5=300 points.

And here’s how the Magic Number works: The team with the Magic Number closest to the Date-of-Death (DoD) will get an extra 25 points. If that team's Magic Number matches the DoD, the team will instead get 50 extra points.

For Those Creeped Out by Such Things
Here's how we justify to ourselves having a Hall-of-Fame Death Pool: "Their major contributions to the world already behind them, baseball Hall-of-Famers will never get the glory they received on the day they were inducted into the Hall-of-Fame until their funerals. We honor living HOFers by putting them into a Death Pool and hoping they will soon receive that final glorious moment in the sun … before they are buried or cremated."

Congratulations, Kathy!
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The 2019 Season Has Officially Begun!


The SLPL Bobblehead-of-Lettuce


Good luck to one and all!

While we get our act together and set up the league, here are some MLB links — also found in the menu bar up top — you might find useful during the season:

See the 2019 Rules | Pay Your Entry Fee

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The 2019 SLPL Season Is Officially About To Launch


Getchyer roster in, STAT!

See the 2019 Rules | Submit a Roster | Pay Your Entry Fee | Adjust a Submitted Roster Here

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